How to stop watching Netflix too much?

I struggle with binging too much on Netflix. Is that something I can change, or is it just the reality of this age of fragmenting attention? If I can change, how can that look like?

We all long for some form of transformation. We want to see real change leading to flourishing in life. How does this change happen?

Often we may be tempted to try to change our behavior by using external rules based strategy that often works on a superficial level, but does not create lasting change. For example I may say I don't want to watch Netflix too much, try to have some rules like I will not watch Netflix more than 30 minutes a day. This works for a week or two but inevitably I return to Netflix binge zones soon enough.

Why does external rules based strategy not create lasting change? The reason is that our behavior is rooted in deeper realities. The deepest root from which our behavior arises is our beliefs. Our beliefs about who we are guides our feelings and our feelings guide our behavior. If we want to change at the level of behaviors. A part of how successful change often works is by the starting with our beliefs. Let me give an example.

Here is a lady who grew her nails for many decades until it was over 24 feet long. It took her 3 to 4 bottles of nail polish and a few days just to manicure her nails. But at some point she decided that she would cut her nails of, return back to having normal nails. One may guess that her choice to cut her nails may have had to do with her feeling inconvenienced - but one would be wrong, because she put up with that inconvenience for decades. Why give up on her decades long habit of growing her nails? The answer is this - she change her beliefs about herself.

She said in her interview with CNN "I decided that my nails were not me." This deep change in belief made the change in behavior possible, even decades of behavior.

Now let me apply this principle of behavior changes starting from change in belief to my Netflix binging behavior. To change this behavior I have to figure out the underlying belief that under girds and sustains the behavior. If I wasn't spending my free time watching Netflix, I would spend it writing. What could the underlying belief that keeps me binging on Netflix instead of writing? My writing efforts are not worth investing in.

When I believe that my writing life is not worth investing in this dysfunctional belief keeps me demotivated. This demotivation channels my attention into doing something passive as in binging mindlessly on Netflix. This sense that my writing is not worth investing in arises from a fear of rejection, that people find my work useful. In such a state of mind I am tempted to find release from these negative emotions by using Netflix as an escape. In this sense Netflix becomes a kind of drug to numb my fears and frustrations.

If I believed my writing was worth investing in, what would I then do? I would spend that time investing in my passion/gift for writing (as I am doing now). I need a redemptive belief to replace my dysfunctional belief. In the book The Soul Tells a Story Vinita Hampton says, "our creative work is a continuum... just assume that there are other voices, images and phrases joining you own work, somewhere and somehow." My creative work is a part of a bigger tapestry of God's creative work. When I believe that my creative work is not about me. When I believe that God has given me gifts which when I use for His glory, to bless people as they want to be blessed, then this redemptive belief motivates my writing.

To put it all together, instead of trying to have some external rules based strategy about how much Netflix to watch per day or per week, which will not last beyond a 2 week effort, but when I change my deep belief, then all flows easily because there is integrity between my beliefs, feelings and actions. Another way to state this is this - my dysfunctional belief says that my writing is not worth investing in, this belief leads the feeling of being demotivated, this leads to the behavior of Netflix binging. My redemptive belief is that my writing is for the glory of god, this belief leads to the feeling of motivation, that leads to my spending time writing. I did miss some Netflix this week, but I am happy to have this blog post to show for it!

Do you want to see change in your life? Are your external rules based strategy failing you? Then Identify the dysfunctional belief which is driving your behavior. Then change the dysfunctional belief with redemptive belief, and let that drive your motivation to change your behavior. Change your belief and your behavior will change!