Brother Karamazov: Exploring Romanticism In Adelaida's Choice - Ideology vs Relational Rootedness

Why do some people make inconsistent choices in their love life?

We see an example of this in the character Adelaida from Brother Karamazov. She was Fyodor's first wife, Dimitri Karamazov's mother. Originally, she was one of those high born sophisticated women, who surprised everyone by marrying a simpleton like Fyodor.

But after Adelaida married Fyodor, she realized she really despised him. She did not love him at all.

Why did Adelaida marry Fyodor in the first place?

The narrator ascribes her choice to the romantic movement of the generation.

What is the romantic movement?

The romantic movement prioritizes individual's feelings over reason or tradition. The Romantic movement arose in the early 19th century as a reaction to Enlightenment emphasis on reason. Romantic movement is exemplified in the book Sorrows of Young Werther. Here the protagonist says that to die of unrequited love shouldn't be any different from dying due to physical illness like typhoid. This sentiment captures the romantic spirit, to value feelings more than reason or tradition.

The narrator suggests that Adelaida's romantic sentiment was not so much about love for Fyodor, as much as rebellion against the traditions of her parent's generation. Not unlike how the Romantic movement was a rebellion against Enlightenment values.

Adelaida choice to marry Fyodor is inauthentic because it is ideological and not relational. Ideological love sees the other as an idea. Adelaida married Fyodor because he represented the idea of rebellion against her parents. On the other hand, relational choices are about love for the person for who they are and not what sentiment they represent.

This happens today as well, where someone may marry someone because of a sentimental value of riches or social status etc. Such choice is not about love for the other person, but rather love for the idea of the other person.

Problem with inauthentic choice is that there is no consistency. There is no rest. One goes from one restless choice to another.

Adelaida had a son with Fyodor called Dimitri. Then she falls in love with a young seminary student, elopes with him, leaving behind a young son. Her choice is true to the values of the Romantic ideology of following her heart. Similar to Werther she too dies in the pursuit of her romantic feelings.

Allowing our choice to be ideologically driven instead of relationally driven becomes a chasing after the wind as Solomon puts in Ecclesiastes. People who are ideologically driven overlook the truth that relationships of love bring rest. This is why Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seatle says that falling in love with the Meg Ryan character was like "coming home."

Towards the end of Ecclesiastes Solomon says

"of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." - Ecclesiastes 12:12-14

To books there is no end: meaning ideas and ideologies are dime a dozen. You could go online and get a 100 different ideas on how to think about some political topic. What really counts is how we orient ourselves to relationships around us, especially relationship with God.

We live in a world of surplus ideologies. To chase after them is to chase after the wind, making our choice inauthentic. To root ourselves in relationships of love is the place of rest and rejoicing.