Theological Reflections on COVID Anxiety

As we all have lots of down time with cancelled events, to deal with anxiety one of the ways to take time as a time of Sabbath rest trusting that God is in control of things. Use the disciple of remembrance of death to create clarity of intention about what you value. Speak and connect with people you love, people who you have not had a chance to talk to for a while, above all approach this crisis from a place of hope that our eternal citizenship is secure and care for the other.

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Theology of Death, Focusing our Intentions

We live in a world filled with so many distractions, ranging from facebook feeds to giant billboards advertising junk food. We suffering from a sense of scatter-brainedness, and inability to focus on important priorities. For Christians, remembrance of death is a spiritual discipline that helps create an urgency of intention to prioritize our spiritual life with God and our neighbor all else. 

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Anti-Christ & Christ

During a discussion of movies, my good friend Luke mentioned the Director Lars Von Trier's 'Anti-Christ'. Lars Von Trier works are rightly classified as very disturbing high art psycho-dramas (there are quite a few scenes in the movie where you'll want to close your eyes). The movie's title 'Anti-Christ' would almost seem a misnomer to the layman because the movie says nothing about Christ, but in that, it says much about how despairing life without His redemption would be.

The experience for watching  'Anti-Christ' was insightful to me because I saw the movie the morning of the 'Good Friday' just before before attending the traditional 3 hour 'Good Friday Meditaions' from 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM in an Episcopal Church, St. John the Divine. Seeing this Christless movie and then attending the Good Friday service helped me experience back-to-back, the sharp contrast of two antithetical worlds, the central figure being Christ - absent in one, Savior in the another.

Anti-Christ is metaphysical presentation of how the Evil in human nature destroys a husband and a wife. The wife along with her toddler writes a thesis about the innocent women slain in the middle ages, while staying in their cabin in the woods. There she experiences the 'red in tooth and claw' nature of the woods - the animals killing one another, the acorns falling to the ground and dying... etc. She sees that nature kills itself and is Evil. Then she infers that if nature is Evil, then Human Nature is Evil too. Then she concludes that the innocent women that were subject of her thesis were Evil themselves and deserved Death. Then she begins to see her own Evil nature and selfishness. Psychically disturbed, she comes back to the city with her toddler.

Then one morning, she is aware that her toddler's life is probably in danger, but continues to enjoy the throes of orgasmic pleasure she is in. Toddler dies. This makes her deeply guilty and brings back her fears of the Evil in herself. Her husband being a therapist decides that since all this started in their cabin in the woods,  they needed to go there to figure-out a solution. There, as he delves deeper and deeper into her mind, he realizes, like her, that Nature is Evil, that Human Nature is Evil too and that he is not exempt himself. He realizes there is no solution to the problem of Evil in Human Nature. The movie ends with his killing the wife. VERY Disturbing. :(

The movie deals with two problems...
1. Nature is Evil. So Human Nature is Evil too.
2. Death is the ultimate end and the ultimate Evil of all Evils. There is no solution. In fact, at one point, the wife tells her husband that one of them will have to die and tries to kill him.

If we look across history, we find many a mother killing her child and many a husband killing his wife. In 'Anti-Christ' Lars Von Trier draws a metaphysical portrait of such extreme Evil that is often swept under the rug of the amiable society, except if the media decides to sensationalize it (as in the case of Casey Anthony). The movie ends in despair because once one comes face-to-face with Evil, one is 'lost'. One realizes that there really is no way out. There is no redemption. Once they are lost, they spiral down until they kill each other. There is none to get them out of Evil. There is no Redeemer. In other words, the movie has no Christ-figure to sacrificially love the lost sheep and bring it back into the fold of righteousness. Hence the name 'Anti-Christ'.

After this intense horror movie, I went to Church for the Good Friday meditations where there were 8 sermons in 3 hours, and some really Awesome hymns. Given the context of the movie, the topics for the 8 sermons I thought, were amazingly providential...
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Pride of Knowledge
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Envy
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Inaction
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Anger
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Lust
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Fears
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Greed
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Deceit and Pride

The sermons dealt with the same theme as the movie 'Anti-Christ' - Evil and Death. But from a very different paradigm, one in which Evil and Death are defeated by Christ's sacrificial Love. The sermons though deeply convicting of Evil, were also comforting because there was a way out, there was a solution - the Sermons pointed to the Savior Jesus Christ, who had conquered Evil and Death. To the Christian Evil is powerful, but not all powerful. It has been defeated by the Crucified Lord. The Human being no longer needs to be enslaved to Sin. Neither is Death the end of All. Christ died on the Cross and Resurrected, thus defeating Death.

The goal of Christ's Death is to justify to us and pave way for Sanctification so that we would increasingly become Christlike - sacrificial in our love. Christ says that no love is greater than that in which one is willing to lay down one's life for another. Christ commands Christians to love one another as He loved us. Christ promised that we will not be alone in this struggle against Evil/Sing. We will not have to fight a losing battle against Evil, the Holy Spirit would be our 'Helper' in our journey to become Christlike.

By the time we were in the 8th sermon, I was kind of tired and wasn't quite listening that well, but the Rector Larry Hall's last few words of the 8th sermon stuck with me, "these are the Truths we need to live for", he paused and said with a smile, "and die for". Christianity has more martyrs today than in any other time in history. As we look through History and see the throngs of the Christian martyrs who Christlike, laid down their lives to spread the message of Christian sacrificial-love. We see that Christian Love is stronger than Evil/Sin and Death. Christ is conquering the World to Himself through Christian love depicted on the Cross.

A world without the Redeemer would indeed be a world that is overwhelmed with Evil and Death. It would be the Anti-Christ - the world without Christ. If the world we live in is any better, it is because Christ is the quintessential model for a Hero Redeemer who powerfully depicts sacrificial love that overcomes Evil and Death. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Christ helps us emulate Him. We needn't fear the anti-Christ world around us. We'll win it over by being Christlike, for Christ died on the Cross, defeating Evil and He is risen, defeating Death! Happy Easter!

The Grey

The Grey is a movie about a bunch of burly Alaskan oil field workers who get stranded in the middle of nowhere when their plane crashes into remote Alaska. The few guys that escape alive are hunted down by a pack of wild wolves. They quickly realize that given the wild terrain, the wolves have an upper hand.  Devoid of any equipment to defend themselves with, the men regress back into their fearful selves and try to escape from the wild wolves. The wolves hunt and kill the men one by one.

No guns. No TV. Nothing with which to defend themselves from death or amuse themselves into dying, these men faces the prospect of death. Reduced back to their primal selves, they realize that the only weapon they have is their will-power and the enemy they are fighting is not the wolves, but their ability to come to terms with death. John Ottway (Liam Neeson) is the leader of this pack of hunted men.

The movie shows how the will-power of different men is fueled by different philosophies of life. Ottway and Diaz (a funny guy in the group) have opposite philosophies of dealing with pain, suffering and death. Diaz tries to deny the despair by amusing himself with something else. Ottway acknowledges his powerlessness but fights for the sake of fighting, until his last breath.

When the men talk about death, Diaz says all he needed was 'one last good-f**k', and then he'll gladly die. Diaz seeks petty-pleasures to amuse himself on the road to death. Ottway (Liam Neeson) on the other hand is a serious man. Upon the prospect of being eaten by the wild wolves, he faces it head-on fighting. He rationalizes the pain and suffering by finding his strength in a poem from his childhood. The poem becomes the linchpin upon which the movie rests.

Once more into the fray...
For one one last good fight
Live and die today
Live and die today

If a man's philosophy does not portend to anything beyond this life then 'today' is all there is to this life. Such men have to either be like Diaz and find some semblance of meaning in a good-f**k or be like Ottway and find meaning in a good-fight. To Ottway, the fight to live and die 'today' is all there is to life. Ernest Hemingway had a similar philosophy to life. He loved wars, he loved the matadors fighting bulls, he believed people who did not go to wars lived only half-lives. He did not derive a sadistic pleasure from violence, on the contrary, he drew his meaning from the brutal fight for life and death. He viewed man as bravely, but helplessly fighting a hopeless fight against life. If this world is all there is, then what is more noble than to stand up and fight even if one will finally be defeated?

When one espouses such a 'this-worldly' philosophy of life, all one has is 'today' and two existential problems arise.
1. There is no reason why one shouldn't commit suicide. What is the point being strong in a hopeless fight. Why not just kill yourself and be done with it? (In fact, Ernest Hemingway took his philosophy to its logical end by taking his own life.)
2. The impermanence of love and relationships becomes a source of great angst.

Liam Neeson struggles with both these problems in the movie. In the very first scene of the movie, Liam Neeson tries to blow his head-off with his rifle. On and off, he has reveries of sweet memories of his dead wife. He is haunted by impermanence of loving relationship... The sweet memories of love fills his empty real life with a gut wrenching angst he cannot explain or bear. He writes letters to his dead wife in a hopeless attempt to cling to some sense of permanence of love.

On being chased by the wolves, every time someone dies, Liam collects their wallet with the photo of a loved one. All his comrades are dead and he is a lonely man, still being hunted by the wolves. Then from the depth of his grieving heart, he cries out to the God he does not believe in. He asks God to show Himself in 'some real way' in a life that seems so unreal and pointless. Silence, anger and despondency...

He lifts himself up, lonely and hopeless. Looks at all the precious photos of his comrades with their loves ones wives, kids... Cries profusely and buries them along with the letter to his dead wife. He turns back to realize that he is cornered by a pack of wolves and then one last time with a gritty demeanour, clenched fists and ferocious eyes he quotes his poem

Once more into the fray...
For one one last good fight
Live and die today
Live and die today

And gets ready for battle.... Silence... Nothingness... the movie ends and everyone in the theatre was too dazed even to get up. The helplessness depicted is deeply disturbing as one will realize its truth when one looks life in the eye.

Ottway's poetic platitude is partly right in that life is a fight. Often St. Paul uses the idea of a 'good fight'. Where Ottway's poetic platitude runs into a huge problem is that it makes the fight as an end in itself, with no ulterior purpose, meaning or dignity whatsoever.

In contrast, the Christian worldview is based on the revelation of the Truth of everlasting life secured for us by Christ. Christians are called to suffer. But Christian suffering is not a dead end, just like Christ's suffering was not a dead-end. Christ died for us and resurrected into Eternal life in which He has prepared some unimaginably good things for us.

I Cor 2:9
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
    nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”—

This hope of Eternal life is the fuel for our present 'good fight'. Besides, we are not alone in our fight. We have a Helper who will help us through the fight. Christian fight looks back to the crucified and resurrected Lord and forward to the Hope of Eternal life. Without this under-girding, suffering in life becomes a hopeless and meaningless source of angst. And so in order to rationalize suffering and deal with life's harsh realities, men like Diaz will look for meaning and diversion in a 'good f**k' and men like Ottway will look for meaning and dignity in a 'good fight'. Whichever option man chooses, he is at the end of the day but wolf-meat.

The Grey is a movie that gives you a better appreciation for what Christ did on the cross than most expositions of the Gospel you'll hear. It does so not by explaining the Gospel, but by showing how void and angst-filled a life would be without the Gospel. After all, no brilliant baking can engender an appreciation for bread as hunger can.


Gospel driven Christian fight and suffering has dignity in that Christ suffered/suffers alongside us. Our fight has purpose in that we have a greater Hope/Mission. Our fight is not lonely in that it fosters a loving Relationship with the Holy Spirit. After all, but for the Resurrected Lord, we would all be wolf-meat just like the men in 'The Grey'.