When a Noun Becomes a Verb

I sent an email out to the 'Parish Group' saying that I might not be able to attend the parish and that I wished them a great time of 'fellowshiping' and debating. After hitting 'send', I realized that the properly-spoken English language didn't have the word 'fellowshiping'. I had just made up a very odd sounding verb of a noun. Not that I am a stickler for grammatical correctness, I couldn't care less. Technically, 'fellowship' is itself a verb. But still, I sort of felt embarrassed and wanted to salvage my pride at least by trying to find some seemingly insightful rationale behind it. Or may be, it is a week since I have written anything on my blog and I needed an excuse to ramble on something.

So I started thinking... When 'google' became 'googling', a noun had become a very odd sounding verb. Whenever a noun becomes a verb it signifies a very powerful paradigm shift in how people perceive life. When noun becomes an odd-sounding verb, it morphs into something much BIGGER - in google's case worth billions of dollars too. :P

In order to find a way to restore my fallen (vain) glory, I had to ask myself what paradigm shift the word 'fellowshiping' signified? Was it worth at least 2 cents? Two thought tumbled out... 1) Young urban progressives living in the midst of a very 'fragmented society' have a deep need for fellowship (as a replacement to real family-ties). 2) Friendship/fellowship was never meant to be an end in itself. Any good friendship is always a means to something MUCH bigger.

C.S.Lewis in his book, 'Four Loves' talks about friendship as a relationship in which two people stand side-by-side and look at the same thing admire it the same way. They are not preoccupied with each other (as in the case of romantic relationship), friends are preoccupied with the beauty of 'something' MUCH bigger than each other, 'something' that could potentially be earth-shattering. In fact, the famed circle of friends that C.S.Lewis was a part of , the 'Inklings', also had another prominent writer, the great J.R.R Tolkien. The Inklings shared many a conversation over many a night. C.S.Lewis even read the original manuscript of the 'Lord of the Rings' and discussed it with J.R.R Tolkien.

What C.S.Lewis and J.R.R.Tolkien shared was the friendship of the highest order. Tolkien was very influential in C.S.Lewis' conversion. It is impossible to overestimate the impact of the Inklings on either writers and a thousand other writers that try copycat, the greatest among these being J.K.Rowling who makes no bones of the fact that she owes so much to the above mentioned writers. When noun becomes an odd sounding verb, when fellowship becomes fellowshiping, eventually, there is bound to be something spectacular.

Having thought through this I was sort of happy. I had managed to use the names of some legends using some circuitous logic and reasoning to salvage the damage that my vain ego felt at having coined so queer a word as 'fellowshiping'. Nevertheless, my ambition knews no limits. I was still thinking about how I could further salvage my pride by finding other uses for this inadvertent mistake... Lo and behold! another context came to my rescue. It happened at the parish meeting which I eventually made it to...

The question on the table was about how to engage an 'urban progressive' culture with the Gospel. I made my customary (slightly) long-winded speech about using artistic inclinations of people as a contact point to engage the culture. Kyle, a sharp guy in the group said, "so what you are saying is we need to something like - invite people and screen the movie 'Tree of Life'" (Kyle and I had just had a deep conversation about movie 'Tree of life' and how it related to the gospel). I replied, "precisely! and we need to talk about how the movie is so godless even though it appears to be FULL of the idea of God".

After the meeting was over, I told Kyle, "You know what, we shouldn't JUST screen 'Tree of Life', we should MAKE one like that". Kyle replied, "Yes, something that is deeply metaphorical". My rejoinder was, "Precisely, something that a few will understand, but when they do, their hearts and minds would be on fire!" This conversation made me feel even better about the impulsive coinage of 'fellowshiping'. After all, fellowshiping can have BIGGER goals...

When a noun becomes a verb, it is powerful. The MOST powerful example of this is when the Lord of the Universe changed the meaning of the word 'love' on the Cross. He SHOWED in real-life ACTION how the noun becomes a verb in a very powerful way. When the world go about 'petty ways' of making loads of money off of changing nouns into verbs, there is a huge lacuna for Christ-like ones to step in and SHOW the world how POWERFUL verbalizing a noun can be really be, as in 'fellowshiping', or better still 'truly loving' as Christ loves us! 

Courage Crazy VS True

It takes courage to live a good life, but it takes ‘crazy courage’ to change the world. For better or for worse, it is the crazily courageous ones from Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Inc. to Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy Inc., that can't help but change the world around them.

Most Christians don't usually see themselves as being particularly courageous. Courageous Christianity is often relegated to the ones that get the 'special calling' to go to the frontier and work in some remote tribal village or somewhere in Iran or Egypt or Somalia. Other times, courage is associated with witnessing or going on short mission trips. What the movie 'Courageous' does best is to bring courage back into the everyday aspects of running a family and living a 'normal' Christian life.

When Howard Schultz thought he could sell a cup of Coffee for $4, when a gallon of gas was less than $2, people said he was crazy. Yes, Howard Schultz was crazy indeed. But, he was not JUST crazy. He had a crazy COURAGE to pursue his idea. Lo, and behold! Starbucks was born! This 'crazy courage' that the Howard Schultz-like high-stakes achievers have, is premised on the fact that they SEE something others don't. Schultz's 'crazy idea' has been successful because Schultz correctly diagnosed that urban progressives living lonely lives in a ‘fragmented society’ would gladly pay a premium for the 'third space’ - the (pseudo-)community experience. Schultz courage was based on the fact that he could SEE something others couldn't.

Likewise, the Christians in the movie 'Courageous' are courageous because that they SEE God in ways people in the Godless society don't. What is this special way of seeing God that makes them stand out? 


The one attribute that all the men in ‘Courageous’ share is that, they SEE God as the 'Sovereign Judge' of all of life. In the movie, this idea keeps recurring often taking multiple forms in the life choices of the Christian men in 'Courageous'.

1. Nathan admonishes David that he better be ready to face a Just God who'll see to it that the hurt David caused the girl he impregnated and then dumped, is paid for. (This becomes the segway to present the Gospel - that David did not have the capital to pay for his crime and so Christ lovingly paid it on the cross). Sadly, none told Steve Jobs this truth when he did the same to the mother of his first biological child, the now Ms. Lisa Brennan Jobs.

2. Adam makes the tough call to incarcerate his pal, Shane, who has lost his integrity. Adam then reconciles with Shane explaining that it is not about them but about the Holy God who will judge them all.

3. Seeing God as the Sovereign Judge gives the financially broke Javier the 'spine' to not fall in line with the Boss' crooked plans, even when it meant he would lose his long sought after dream job, and eventually his home too.

4. Seeing God as the Sovereign Judge, who is full of mercy and knows what He is doing, gives Adam the courage to raise his weak hands and thank the Lord for having given him 9 years with his sweet daughter who was hit by a drunk driver (if this scene in the movie does not make you shed a tear, there is probably very few things in life that will make you cry).

Often, SEEING God as the Sovereign Judge causes the modernized to bristle because the word 'judge' is often associated with the word 'judgmental' which rankles in the ears of the egalitarian society we live in. Ironically, even Christians don't like to see God as the ultimate judge. Many find it disturbing. During a discussion about God being the judge in a Bible Study group someone said something that amounted to, "I think of God as love. I don't find it useful to see God as the judge."

Unfortunately, Christians often forget how God being the ultimate judge makes us truly courageous. Courage, is one’s willingness to relinquish something near and dear. God being the Sovereign Judge, means that God is the ultimate ‘valuer' of life – God judges the ‘true value’ of people. In the movie 'Fight Club', Brad Pitt says, "What you have, will own you". Even people who agree with this dictum, still have an obsession to possess things. Reason? Possessing things gives them a ‘sense of value’. A Christian who SEES God as the one who ultimately ‘judges’ his personal value, can courageously relinquish his yearning for processions, prestige and power, which non-Christians crave after. This relinquishing is 'true courage'.

When a Christian realizes that God judges his ultimate value, he will, like Javier in ‘Courageous’, be willing to lose his home and remain poor, instead of colluding with the crooked and get rich. SEEING God as the ultimate judge of his ‘personal value’, gives Javier the courage resist the temptation of illicit riches. The materialistic moto of life, "Get Rich or Die Trying" is a total farce. In the Bible, Joseph saw God as his ultimate valuer which is why he was gladly willing to forgo the chance for illicit sex. Joseph depicted courage in ‘everyday living’ that landed him in prison. He lost something 'near and dear' - his freedom. But isn't this courage to not succumb to the flesh, the greatest sort of freedom? A Christian needs to live everyday lives, by this sort of true courage. This sort of courage shouldn't be relegated to just mission trips and witnessing to non-Christians.

A Christian who SEES the Lord and the Lord only as the judge of his ‘personal value’, will be freed to be truly courageous everyday of his life. Consequently, this Christian will not care for success in this temporal world. This Christian's philosophy is the exact opposite of crazily courageous Steve Jobs when he said in a 1984 interview, "I don't care about what is right or what is wrong. All I care about is success”. The 'truly' courageous don’t shoot for success in the eyes of men, they yearn for success in the eyes of God - they see God as the judge of their success. The 'crazily' courageous change the temporal, the 'truly' courageous affect eternity. Christians belong in the class of the 'truly courageous'. The movie ‘courageous’ shows how. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1630036/

A Man! A Son of the King!

(Disclaimer: Even though the verbiage is explicitly masculine, the spirit and the underlying theology is androgynous)

Life moves
Through a heaviness
Sharp edges
All around

Can't help
But move
Always forward
Always onward

Where's Meaning?
Where's Delight?
Distant Mirages
Rock underneath

Get cut
Bleeding
Get broken
Smashed

Heavy life
Edges, razor sharp
Rock is hard
Cob webs confuse

Take a punch
In the gut
Bear a bullet
In the chest

Oh, the meaning

Oh, the delight

Of being a man

With a spine 

Back up, Standing
With the King's Spirit
Brave and Strong - A man!
A son of the King!

Oh, What do We do With Burdensome Kids? Simple, Don't Have Any!!!

I met a guy who had just become a father for the second time. I was inquiring on the health of his infant son. I was a surprised when suddenly he said, "you know what, babies are costly". Of course, babies are 'priceless'. But he actually meant, "kids are 'high maintenance'".  I replied, "Oh, well... of course, kids cost money. But kids are what we live for... at the end of the day". He replied, "Yes, that is a good way to look at it."

Sometime back, I was talking with a guy from Church. He was well employed and married. He said that his wife wanted kids, but he wanted to postpone it. He said he might be able to hold out for another two years before acquiescing to his wife's wishes.  Once upon a time, I think kids were seen as a 'blessing from God'. But now, by default, kids are seen as a 'liability' to be avoided as much as possible or accepted as the last resort.

Why do we live in a world where kids instead of being seeing as 'blessings' are seen as 'liabilities' monetarily and more. Broadly speaking, pre-modern values dictated the man lived for the sake of his progeny. In the book 'How Then Shall We Live', Francis Schaeffer says that, in contrast to the pre-modern values, the ultra-modern man see two primary values worthy of pursuit, 'affluence' and 'personal peace'. Kids are a threat to both. Today, if you would go and tell an urban 'progressives', "you live for you kids". He/she will probably wonder, "Wow!!! So my life is not about who I want to be? It is about the kids?"

I was chatting with a childhood friend of mine. She had been married for about 4 years. She said that her husband did not want to have kids yet. I asked why. "Oh well, he thinks he is still in his teens and wants to enjoy life more before having kids". Pre-modern man saw marriage as a means to have children. Ultra-modern man sees marriage as a means for 'personal fulfillment'. He'll have kids only as long as he see that as a means to 'personal fulfillment' of some sort.

The young Steve Jobs is a case in point. He impregnated a girl (I believe in his early 20s) and refused to own up to it for 2 years. His court documents state, "that he couldn't be a father because he was 'sterile and infertile, and as a result thereof, did not have the physical capacity to procreate a child.'" Later on in his life, he adored his kids he "procreated" with a different woman. This goes to the point that in the early part of his life, the kid was too burdensome to be fulfilling that he was willing to do anything to disown it, even call himself infertile. Most modern men wouldn't go to the extent of disowning their kids, but they'll do quite a bit to not have them in the first place.

I recently read through Genesis in my daily 'quite time' routine. One thing that really stuck me was how much of Genesis hangs around the idea of offspring. It is almost all of life's meaning is drawn from the life of kids. Right at the beginning God starts talking about 'multiplying' and filling the earth. Then the story is about Adam and Eve and their children. Then Noah and his children. Then Abraham waits so long for a kid. Without Isaac's birth, Abraham would have been a blip in the radar. During the time of Isaac, Isaac does not have kids. He prays and gets Jacob and Eusa. Then the story is more about Jacob and Eusa. During Jacob's time it  about how he gets to have 12 kids and then it is about Joseph. This focus of Genesis on the offspring makes a lot of sense, because, at the end of the day, the baton has to be passed so that the Name of the Lord is ultimately glorified and His blessings is carried forward through all the Nations. Christians of this generation don't appear to be doing enough to pass on this baton.

Sociologists say that for any culture to thrive, each family on an average has to have about 2.5 kids. If it goes below this, then the culture would begin to die slowly. In fact the reason why Islam is spreading much faster than Christianity is because Christians have a lot fewer kids than Muslims.

I, being the disinterested observer, it is easy for me to say people should have more kids. It is easy for me to raise thorny questions. God has given us mandate for procreation and for preservation, and there is a balance between the two. I realize there are no easy answers. Life is hard work. Life is complex. Life is confusing. Nevertheless, I think unless we STOP seeing marriage primarily as a means to 'personal fulfillment' and start seeing it primarily through God's intended purpose of procreation, there is very little in this world to encourage people living in individualistic cultures to have kids. Living in consumerist societies, we want everything cheap, Kids being priceless is something that is out of our league. Sadly so! 

My September Posts in Facebook

Well, Steve Jobs is ok. He is still the Chairman of the Board. Techie journalists - please STOP eulogizing...


A lady and a gentle man with a heavy British ascent stopped me to ask for directions to their destination. The man kept repeating, that he recalled that 'there was a BIG parking space' next to the destination. I wanted to say, "Buddy, that does not help. I don't know about Britain, but in Texas all parking lots are BIG."


I would rather be remembered as a failure than not be remembered at all, for in the scope of Eternity even failure has a purpose.


A warrior that has nothing to worship outside of himself will end up warring against his own self. A man who isn't drawn outside of himself in worship and war will end up self-obsessed and consequently self-destruct.


Life is filled with choices. With choices come multi-pronged 'tensions'. Man, puny as he is has to trust in luck or in God's Sovereignty to 'work it ALL for the ultimate good'. Trust in God's Sovereignty gives a better framework to make brave choices, after all a man trusting in luck will be hard pressed to embrace Martyrdom.


Isn't it a blessed day when you get back from work after 00:00 hours but you still feel so full of energy because work was so exciting!!!

Hedgehog or the Fox - I am Happy to be the Hedgehog

A dear friend of mine commented that it was impressive that I found different ways to say the same thing in my blogs. She meant it as a compliment. It was a compliment that sort of made me self-conscious about all that I write about.

When I look back at my writing, I do realize that I start from different places, juggle disparate ideas but always end at one 'all unifying' theme - - the supremacy of the Lord, His Word and His Work. In fact, I think this started very early in my life. I clearly remember the comments of some of my friends during my college days, that I took everything and turned it into something about God. Later on, I came to know from some a friend that my  tying everything back to matters that have to do with God was pissing off some folks in our class. I toned  down my expositions, but now with the blogs I feel free.

As I thought about this further, I realized the reason why I always tied everything back to God is because I can't help it. It is the one thing that makes me passionate. There was a time when I was sharing my thought about God in emails to people and one of my good friends suggested that I start a blog in stead of bothering people with emails. So I start blogging in addition to bothering people with emails about my thoughts on God.

On the other hand, this realization that all my posts almost have monolithic themes made me feel like I was dumb. There was a point at which I started wondering if I should rather just stop writing and do something more worth my while. That was when I came across a part of Isaiah Berlin's essay 'The Hedgehog and the Fox'. The ancient Greek Poet Archilocus said, "a fox knows many things, a hedgehog knows one big thing". Thinkers have historically fallen under two categories - Universalists and the Paticularists. Universalists come from the Platonic school of thinking in which they are always trying to synthesis ideas to bring it up to one BIG universal idea. Paticularists follow the Aristotelian way of thinking in that they allow the paticulars to remain as they are, categorize them separately, instead of trying to find the Universal idea that ties them together.

Berlin goes on to say that by this classification, Shakespeare was a fox and Dostoevsky is a hedgehog. Shakespeare let things be as they are, was content explaining them as they are without any need to find a metaphysical unity. On the other hand Dostoevsky was always trying to point to something high up above, trying to say there was more to it than met the eye. Shakespeare's work is like a masterful painting. Dostoevsky's is like a towering peak that one had to climb to have the panoramic view of the world from this higher vantage point.

So this meant that I don't have to be apologetic that almost all my posts have one central theme. Foxes have their place. Hedgehogs have theirs. If I am to be a Hedgehog, I'll be happy to be the Hedgehog. I'll continue writing about the central theme of supremacy of the Lord, His Word and His Work!

Not Tired of Steve Jobs... Yet! Ok, But What NEXT?

Last week today, I went home, logged onto facebook, read my friend's status update 'Black Day - Job died' and got warped into a timelessness capsule. I had to add that surreal moment to the will-remember-where-I-was-when-I-heard-it list. The last one on the list was Michael Jackson. (/emmanuelreagan/2009/06/michel-jackson-timeless-or-timeless.html).

Since then, I have spent quite a bit of my time, reading about Mr. Steven Paul Jobs. Even today, a week after his passing, I still can't resist a news article that analyses and praises his deep passion for technology, his prescience in uncovering the deep needs of human nature, his sense of aesthetics etc... It was today that I wondered, why I do not get tired of Steve Jobs? Is it just curiosity? Of course, I am a 'curious cat'. But even when I read things about him which do not add to my knowledge-base and consequently cannot satisfy my curiosity, I still happily read on. Why?, probably because I admire him.

The Christian reads the Bible for similar reasons. We don't just read the Bible because it satisfies our curiosity (which it does by the way, at multiple levels), but because it is about someone who is to be admired - the One Sovereign God who is the most beautiful person ever. There are times when I have said in some Bible Study groups, "God is the most beautiful person ever", and have gotten the Dude-you-are-weird looks from others. I don't care that I look weird, not just because I know I am weird (everyone is weird to some extent, some more than others. God creates diversity. :P), but because I know when it comes to matters of admiring the Lord's beauty, I am in good company .

Psalm 27:4 This only have I asked of the Lord, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.

It behoves me to note that this sort of seeking to gaze on the Lord's beauty is not easy for fallen men, which is why in the first part of the verse, David pleads with the Lord to make it possible for him to only seek after the Lord... 'This only have I asked of the Lord, that I will seek after'

David's reference to 'House of the Lord' and 'His Temple' refers to life in Heaven as well. Imagine living forever and ever doing nothing but gazing on the Lord and inquiring to know more about Him. Would it be boring after a few days? Heavens, NO! Why? Because the Lord is the most beautiful person ever. He is worthy of all admiration. If a finite man by the name Steve Jobs can inspire me to spend so much time reading about him, how much more can an Infinite God inspire me to spend an Eternity trying to know him more and more and more and more and more... and a thousand, thousand time more!!!

When a Christian reads the Bible and get on his knees to pray, he is just having a foretaste of that Eternal pleasure of getting to know Him, which is what makes the 'Quite Time' the most exciting time of the day. To call the time spent reading the Bible and Praying as 'Quite Time' is I think, a terrible misnomer. I would rather call it 'Pleasure Time' or 'Delight Time' or 'Exciting Time' or 'Gazing on the Lord Time' for that is what it is.

When we read the Bible and Pray we don't get get into some laconic, dull, comatose state. Rather, 'kindled' by the Holy Spirit, we get to do the thing we most enjoy to do - admire the Lord. We get excited - like a jock watching his favourite star play Football - like a nerd reading the Lord of the Rings - like a non-philistine listening to Beethoven's 5th.

Christians are excited to gaze upon the Lord and this is one thing they'll do it in this life and continue doing to a greater extent of pleasure and contentment in the NEXT one too. Steve Jobs did so much towards making this life meaningful and exciting. He famously said, "life is short, don't live someone else's". But honestly, I wonder how much thought he put into the flip side of that exhortation - finding excitement and meaning in the NEXT life after this short one! If Jobs doesn't find his NEXT life exciting and meaningful, this may be the first time his much admired prescience to anticipate future needs and improvise upon it from the present, has let him down. But then death stumps even the Strong!!!

Ps: 'NExT', by the way, is the name of the company Jobs founded after he was originally dumped by Apple. NExT was spectacularly idealistic. It was true to ALL of Jobs' perfectionist visionary ideals of creating the NEXT revolution in computers. It made great products, but wasn't that successful. NExT was bought by Apple and its OS became the core to Apple's successful OS X. But the biggest asset that Apple got with the NExT acquisition was the legend Steve Jobs... Reverting back to the point of this post, having an unbiblical perspective of life makes even the longsighted, short-sighted, the strong, weak and the brilliant, foolish. Steve Jobs famously said in a 1985 interview, "I don't care much about what is right or wrong. I care for success". At the end of the day, when all is said and done, I guess success doesn't matter as much as wisdom from the Lord!

'Courageous' - An Antithetic Story of the Sexy, the Strong and the Sell-able!

(Disclaimer: In some parts of the write-up, I have used a broad brush. Please help yourself to a generous pinch of salt. :P)

Most popular Hollywood movies that I can remember, portray men epitomizing the 'trivial' attributes of manhood. They are either funny and stupid (think Will Farrell) or brash and bulldozing (think Arnold, oh how do I spell his last name - google help! yes, Schwarzenegger) or cocky and surefooted (think Russell Crowe) or in a few instances, mostly from the yesteryears, laconic and mysterious (think Humphrey Bogart). 'Real men' are seldom seen in Hollywood movies. Why? Because in this culture, it is the trivialized man that considered sexy, strong and sell-able.

Hollywood movies don’t celebrate 'real men' - the ones that walk around with a little paunch, try hard to do the right thing for their family, sometimes fail and pick themselves up and try again; they lose, they hurt, huddle to help each other, charge into a battle against evil getting bloodied up, they forgive, forget, reconcile; they are tender, they are tough, they are insecure and confused, yet 'real men' have a spine - they SEE God, they love their family. They are Courageous. 

'Courageous' is Christian movie about 5 men that fall into the latter category of 'real men'. Of course, the wives and kids find these men funny, stupid, brash, bulldozing, surefooted, cocky too, but that is totally BESIDE the point of who they really are - men with a spine that take care of a family. 'Courageous' depicts the struggles that 'real men' face - from losing jobs when rent is due, to losing a loved one in an already stressed family, to having to own up for not having owned up to ones biological child, to incarcerating a dear pal that lost his integrity in a position of responsibility. In contrast to the swashbucklers of Hollywood's commercial successes, 'Courageous' epitomizes real men. 

"The Magnificent Seven" is one of the 'more of the same' Hollywood classics that venerates magnificent heroes who live on horses, fight with guns and are sought-after by women. But, even that movie has its moment of antithetical truth… Yul Brynner is a celebrity mercenary that walks with a swagger, speaks in a baritone and shoots from the hip. He decides to help some hapless Mexican farmers exploited by the bandits. After witnessing Yul's brave stunts, a kid in the villager tells Yul that he is ashamed that his farmer-father is a coward and not as brave as Yul. Yul forbids the kid to ever think his father as being a coward for not fighting with guns. Yul says something that in-spirit means, "it take more courage to handle the plow and serve a family than to handle a gun to fight bad guys". Hollywood, when it speaks in terms of the normative, is seldom right, this is one of the few instances in which it is. As much as flamboyant cowboys are idolized, a life of handling guns and horses isn't really a difficult life. It is an Either/Or! Either you put a bullet into another man's heart or another man does it for you. Pretty simple! You are a man who has got nothing to lose except your life. So in a very ironic way, you are in control of your destiny, if you are good you live or you die. 

On the other hand, to handle a baby in your arms is a whole another equation. It is to subject your destiny to something bigger - something you don't have control over. Such risk taking endeavor takes a 'real man' - one that has a spine. It takes courage to start a family, which on the surface, appears to be lacking an increasing number of emasculated urban progressive men that are born into the 'Hollywood-trivialized-superstars admiring' culture. They would rather be free, look slick and perpetually carry on the persona of the most-eligible-bachelor, than carry a baby and be befuddled by the vagaries of life. 

Recently, I was reading an article written by a school teacher lamenting the problem of teenage pregnancies and the girls who end-up becoming unwed mothers. When one of his own students ended up a teen mom, he observed that she had become the superstar of his class. Apparently, being a 'teen mom' was the new cool thing! Bemused by this phenomenon, he organized a group discussion in his class on being a teenage mom. One of the questions he asked them was, "How do you think being a teenage mom would affect your prospects of marriage in future?" They all acted like this was a dumb question. None knew how to answer. He posted it to the teen mom. The girl sitting next to her blurted out, "Nobody marries anymore, Mister!". The whole class broke out in laughter, cheering the 'good' answer!  

I read another article putting forth the idea that even if the embattled Euro survives and becomes strong, that Europe would still be headed for a decline. Reason? – very few people in Europe get married anymore. From 2000 to 2010, 37% of children in Europe were out of wedlock kids who will be raised in single-mom homes. In Sweden, 54% of kids our out of wedlock kids who will be raised in single-mom homes. The US isn't far behind either. In the 1960, close to 75% of households with kids had a complete set of parents. In 2010, it is just about 51%. This trend sociologist worry, is not likely create a stable society where children are the pillars of the future civilization. Among other things, one important cause for this trend is I believe the flakiness of modernized men, who don't have good role models for real manhood. It takes courage to start a Family, because it takes a sacrificial heart to really serve 24/7.

The fulcrum of the movie ‘Courageous’ is Joshua words, "as for me and my house, we will Serve the Lord". Joshua takes the idea of manhood to a whole new level. Joshua elevates running a family - the mundane routines of changing diaper to paying for school to caring for the sick kid, into something that serves a BIGGER purpose - that of SERVING God. This HIGHER purpose inspires him to do a better job at serving his family.  

Malachi takes man's role in family one step higher. He is specifically addressing the man to not break faith. He is not asking the man to love his wife because she makes him feel good about himself, rather he says... Mal 2:15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring(!!!) So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 

Joshua and Malachi SEE God as an intrinsic part of the equation of 'running the family' in a way most modernized men don't. The 'real man' is one who tries to align himself to be true to the Image of God. Even if he fails, he is 'courageous' enough to try again, for he knows his purpose is to conform to the likeness of Christ. Only Christianity has a solid basis to restore 'manishness' back to man. It helps him put context into why he carries with him a weight - a weight that gives him a spine to be the Christ to the family and expend himself in its service. 

One of the effects of living in a Godless, radically individualistic, inexorably insecure, Post-Christian society is that man's essence is trivialized to the point of making him a funny and/or rugged and/or cocky guy whose existence is ultimately pointless, spineless and useless.  'Courageous' is the anti-thesis to this trivialization of manhood. As contrived and longish the storyline is, 'Courageous' is a decent critique of the society. Interestingly, it is also a commercial success. 'Courageous' takes the dumbed-down version of the 'real man' who cares for his family and  expends himself in doing the 'right thing' as a service to God, and makes him look sexy, strong and sell-able. 

Not Ultimate, But Important

I made a case in my blog on 'Lion King' that this world is NOT ultimate and that as Christians, for us the next world is the ultimate one. This is true, but this does not mean that this world isn't important. This world is important because Jesus Christ inaugurated the Kingdom of God in this world and we are a part of the Kingdom of God. In this 'Kingdom of God', each of us human beings have an important part to play and we need to fulfill that role.

As I noted in an earlier blog about Horses and Christians, Christians need to go out into the world and start building hospitals and corporations and orphanages and make good movies, paint beautiful paintings etc... But all of this apart, the most important goal for Christian living is to be conformed to the Image of Christ. Whether you are building a hospital or a corporation or orphanages or good movies, or great paintings, the Holy Spirit is working in you to conform you to the image of Christ and that is what truly determines success in life, this is why this life though isn't ultimate, is important nevertheless. 

Almost 29, yet fascinated with Lion King 3D

I remember crying in the movie theatre as a kid when I watched the timeless Disney animation movie the 'Lion King'. When Lion King came back to the theatres in 3D version the weekend before the last, I most eagerly watched it again. This time, I didn't cry. I just had a clogged nose. During some parts of the movie, I had to breathe though my mouth, least the kids and families be disturbed by sniffling of a 210 pound almost (then) 29 year old bloke.

Even though my emotions hadn't quite changed since I was a kid, my perception of the overall narrative had changed quite a bit. This time I could appreciate the Christian analogy in the movie. A young kid in a 'happy garden' is tempted by the evil one with access to 'special knowledge'. How could that not ring a bell?

Following the advice of the evil one, the kid messes up and then runs away in fear. Wanting to forget the guilt of the 'death causing' disobedience, Simba decides to FORGE his original identity and indulge in the petty distractions of life of comfortable complacency - quite like the 'fallen man' who'll indulge in everything from work to sports to movies to sex to anti-depressants to quell the feeling deep within, that he has messed up his life.

Simba grows up making his new world of petty indulgences as his ULTIMATE world. One day, Simba meets his childhood sweetheart who asks him to return to his 'real home'. Simba shows her his ULTIMATE life of affluence and sees no reason give it up to go back and risk facing his evil Uncle Scar.

Through an unexpected series of events, Simba makes U turn and returns back to his 'real home'. The point of inflexion is a vision he has of his dead Father's spirit.

Father: "Simba, you have forgotten me."

Simba: "No. I have not."

Father: "Yes. You have."

Simba: "NO."

Father: "You have forgotten who you are. So you have forgotten me. Simba! REMEMBER who you are!!!"

As a kid, I kind of took this vision for granted. But now, having gone through my 'quarter life crisis', I see something interesting about this U turn.

When Simba REMEMBERS his Father, he REMEMBERS who he really IS. Then he realizes that the pleasure mongering, affluent world he lives in is NOT ultimate anymore. His ULTIMATE world is his 'real home' and he'll fight to get it back from his evil Uncle, even if he'll have to risk getting killed. He turns from timid philistinism with an other-worldly courage. This reminded me of Christian martyrs.

Being a kid who grew hearing stories about Christian missionaries, the phenomenon of Christian martyrdom has always fascinated me. Why would someone with sane mind willingly give up the pleasures of life to die an ignoble death. Martyrdom is a topic that makes people, especially affluent Christians, uncomfortable. Improvising D.L.Moody into this context would render his famous quote as... "A Christian martyr, who loses his life, loses something he cannot keep to gain something he cannot lose". Christian martyrs are people who like Simba have had the U-turn and realize that this world they live in is NOT the ULTIMATE world and that they are meant to fight for something bigger.

Christianity spread like wildfire during the first century Roman Empire because Christians then REALLY believed that this world is NOT the ULTIMATE one. Perhaps the idea of this world not being ULTIMATE sounds too revolutionary to the Modern Christians living in the world pervaded by ideals of materialism - with the iconic Steven Jobs saying in his Harvard address, "this is too short a life for you to be living someone else’s life", and at the other end, an infamous online adultery site running ads in mainstream media saying, "life is short, just have an affair". The few times I attempted discussing martyrdom in Bible Study groups, it mostly seemed to make people uncomfortable. In one instance, I was asked to stop. May be I was pressing too hard…

On the other hand, I recently read that the 20th century has had more Christian Martyrs than any other century. Perhaps that is because population increase has been exponential in the 20th century. But still it begs the question, why is there an appearance of two groups of Christians? One group is philistine and material, the other is brave and other-worldly. Could that be the difference between ‘the wheat and the tares’ (Matt 13:24-30)? Maybe not... Perhaps to use one’s idea of martyrdom as a dividing line between wheat and tares is too simplistic... Or maybe I am over analyzing this...

Anyways, here is the bottom-line... What really makes a Christian is that, a Christian, like Simba, REMEMBERS who his Father is. The philosopher King says in the Proverbs... 'REMEMBER your Creator in the days of your youth' (Eccl 12:1). Such a Christian knows which world is ULTIMATE - this one or the next one? The answer to this question becomes the basis for his 'world view' that determines EVERY other part of his life. A Christian of this sort would then be unafraid to 'run against a troop or leap over wall' (Ps 18:29).  

Looking back, I think it is ok to be squeamish about meditating martyrdom in our Bible studies. But we cannot afford to or not REMEMBER our Creator EVERY moment of our lives. If we don't REMEMBER who our Creator is, we forget who we are! It MATTERS whether we look at the world through the 'lens' of us being Sons of a Heavenly Father who has built our true homes in the Heavenly realms (John 14:3), or whether we, like the modern materialistic pagans, live as though this world is ALL there is.

Propitiation and Praise

I am reading J.I.Packer's 'Knowing God'. Paul was most wise when he said he compared everything else as rubbish when compared with the joy 'knowing God'. True wisdom is in knowing what is truly valuable.

Packer has a chapter in the book, 'Heart of the Gospel'. Reading the heading, I thought that the chapter would be about God's love. But much of the focus of the chapter was in 'propitiation'. Propitiation is something that is given to reconcile. In religious terms, it means a costly sacrifice to appease a God. For example, pagan kings would sacrifice their son/daughter as a propitiation to gain a God's favor.

'Propitiation' is a word that rankles our modern sensibilities, because as moderners, we don't quite understand a 'Holy God'. They don't realize the extent of their rebellion against God. We feel entitled to 'free love', even from God. We don't feel the need to pay the cost for reconciliation with God. We don't even know that we don't have the capital to pay the cost of reconciliation with God.

Christ's propitiation, to modern man is a superfluous solution to a problem that he doesn't quite understand - the problem of his enmity with God. So his appreciation of Christ is totally misguided at best, or non-existent at worst. At best, he thinks Christ came to be a great moral teacher, a good shepard, a revolutionary etc... not much unlike a Bhuddha or a Ghandhi or a Teresa. That is hardly reason for 'worship'.

Christ is something the moral teachers, the good leaders, the selfless revolutionaries of history aren't - Christ is the Propitiation. True 'praise' is possible only when we understand Christ as the propitiation. After having read J.I.Packer's chapter on the Heart of the Gospel being Christ's propitiation, this Sunday, when I sang worship songs, the word 'Christ' sounded 'heavier' than it usually did.

Unless we connect praise with the idea of propitiation, we will need other motivations to praising God - lights and smoke and high decible vocals and music that work us up. Knowing God is priceless because Praising God is impossible without Knowing God. The truly wise spend time 'Knowing God'.

Please Talk to the Picketers!

Driving towards the parking lot of Reliant Staduim where the Day long Fasting Prayer event 'The Response' was held, I saw some people with Placards - mostly opposing the event. Some of them were acrimonious. One of the kinder ones read 'If God had a plan, WHY PRAY?' It was held by a very cheerful looking guy. I thought, 'Interesting...'. I drove past him. After I parked my car within the fenced parking lot, I realized that this 'Why-Pray' dude was pretty close, on the other side of the fence. I walked over to the fence and said, "Sir, can I talk to you for a moment."

He was an extraordinarily kind guy he came over to talk. The 'Why-Pray' dude is Mr. S. I told him that his sign was interesting and that I wanted to know more of his thoughts behind it. I asked him what his placard meant. He replied, that the meaning was obvious enough.

I realized that I had to post the questions... The statement, 'If God had a plan, WHY PRAY?' implied that prayer and God were mutually exclusive. I asked him why he thought they should be mutually exclusive. The lady that was picketting next to him shouted out to Mr. S, "Don't speak this guy (me). He is just wasting your picketing time". Being a kind guy, Mr.S, didn't listen to her. He replied, "If God is in Total control and He has decided what He wants to do, they why pray at all?"

"The answer to that would depend on what sort of relationship I have with God", I replied, "I pray to God. The reason why I pray to God is because God is my Father. Just like a loving Father would give His son the right to express his thoughts and petitions, God gives use the right and the DIGNITY of prayer to Him."

He said, "Wouldn't it be sort of misleading if God were to allow us to pray to Him, but then go and do what He wants to do?"

The answer to that really depends on how I view God. If I view God as a loving Father, then just as a loving Father would do the best for His son, God will do the best for us. Sometimes, He will grant our wishes, sometimes not - ALL for our good.

But isn't that 'blind faith' he responded.

I wouldn't call it 'blind faith'. I would call it 'reasonable faith'. Much of life operates by principles of reasonable faith. We NEVER have 'exhaustive' knowledge about anything in life. We always take things by faith. For example, I am talking with you because seeing your cheerful demeanor I thought you would be a reasonable guy to talk to. I didn't have 'absolute proof', but I had 'reasonable faith' that you would be a reasonable guy.

He replied, "you are talking to me because there is a fence between us and we can't hurt each other".

I replied, "well in that case your 'blind faith' is that I don't have a gun. WHAT proof do you have that I don't have a gun?"

He replied, "I TOTALLY believe that you have a gun". We laughed... After all this is TEXAS. Of course, I can't excersice the 2nd amendment right... I didn't tell him that though. I figured the idea of me having a gun would put the fear of God in him. :P

I continued to make the case for how human being always tend to operate by principles of 'reasonable faith'... Even in Mathematics, we have axioms which really have NO 'absolute proof'. The proof is assumed based on it being reasonable. It is reasonable to believe that NO man has an infinite mind to be 'absolutely' sure that there isn't any other Being with an infinite mind. If it is reasonable for me to believe that the Reliant Stadium was designed by a sentient being even though I have never seen anyone design it, why wouldn't it be reasonable to believe that the world was designed by another sentient Being, even though I wasn't there to witness creation first-hand?

Our conversations went on... and we got to talk about philosophy etc... and I asked him what made him an Atheist. He said that he was from a very Christian family and was active in the Church. But that none answered the questions he had about the Bible. Then he read Sam Harris one day and became an Atheist. I asked him if he read any of the Christian rebuttals against Sam Harris' books. He hadn't. I gave him some suggestions.

I suggested he he read both sides of the argument before coming to a conclusion. I was surprised to hear him get excited when he recounted his time with the Church during his teens. I was even more heartened when he actually wrote down the name of the books I suggested. We must have talked for about 30 minutes at least. Before I left, he extended his hand for a hand-shake. But only two fingers could make it through the fence... We shook with two fingers... and bid goodbye... I, whispering a prayer for him and he back to the picketing lines with the placard, "If God has a plan, Why Pray?"

I wish he realizes that every prayer is in itself a part of God's plan even when the prayer isn't in in tune with His Sovereign plan. God is powerful enough to bring meaning out of even the most mundane and foolish of prayers...  

Why New Comedies Suck?

I have been watching some 60s and 70s comedy on Netflix. I specially like the comedies with the duo - Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau (Odd Couple, The Front Page..). When these are compared with some of the recent racy movies uttering nothing but profanity in the name of 'Comedy' (Horrible Bosses, 30 minutes or less, Brides Maids etc... I didn't see these movies because I didn't think them worth my time), it is incredulous how people's perception of joy has changed.

God created so many things in life that give us joy. When God created Adam and Eve, He also gave them standards for 'legitimate pleasure' - the joy of food and work and creativity and even a sense of satire that pervades most of life. He also created the joy of loving sex within marriage. But the fallen man, having lost his communion with God has also lost his ability to enjoy the pleasures given by God in a legitimate way within the right boundaries.

Fallen man with his 'jaded' senses, takes sex outside of the boundary where its legitimate pleasure lies. He  makes of it a public spectacle using foul language on the movie screens causing disgusting reflexes among the audience which is taken to be good comedy. 'Dirty talking' has somehow morphed into enjoyable discourse. Unless we find our roots in subtle humor and brilliant wit of the kind that we had in Hollywood back in the days, I think human society would lose its ability to enjoy both the joy of good comedy and legitimate sex.

7 Days in Utopia - The Workings of the Therapeutic Christian Fad

Disclaimer: This write-up is based on my impressions on seeing the movie '7 Days in Utopia'. I have not read the book. I would concur with anyone who of the opinion that the movie does not do justice to the book.

A good friend of mine got me a ticket to the premier of the movie '7 Days in Utopia'. After watching the trailer, I wrote to another friend, "7 Days in Utopia, looks to be a sort of secular romanticist hogwash. I want to see it because such movies often are a good gauge to where the society is headed. It would help understand the points of connection that can be used to present the Gospel to the secular culture".

At the movie, to my surprise, I discovered that the movie was ostensibly Christian. Walking out of the theatre, I thought to myself, "Well, I think the movie has given me a good gauge to where ‘popular Christianity’ is headed. Perhaps, this even gives me the points of connection to presenting the Gospel to the Christian(ly) culture" - an ironic reversal to my earlier ill-informed position.

The movie is about an aspiring young golfer (Lucas Black) who on the back of repeated failures, buckles under the pressure and almost gives upon golf. Totally distraught, the despondent man crashes his car into the farmland of an old man (Robert Duvall) in the village of ‘Utopia’. Robert takes Lucas through a 7 day ‘therapy’ at Utopia that involves a host of clichéd moral teaching and activities ranging from painting to flying to fly-fishing. In the end, Lucas gets back his BEST game ever. He also has a conversion into Christianity.

Robert's rationale leading to Lucas' conversion went something like this....

1. You are having problems with golf because you have made golf as the ultimate purpose of your life. The game has taken you over.

2. You have to realize how you have allowed golf to define who you are. It is killing you.

3. You have to realize that God created you for a better purpose.

4. Once you do that, you'll be free of the burden of having to prove yourself through golf.

5. Then you'll be a free man and BTW, you'll play better golf too.

The therapy’s goal was to help him overcome his problem of idolizing golf. The 'idea' of God is used in the therapy to help the golfer understand that golf is not the end-all. God has no other use in the narrative. Christ is never talked about anywhere. I was left confused about what was really Christian about this Christian(ly) movie.

I was reminded of Pastor Tim Keller’s presentation on his brilliant book 'Counterfeit Gods' at Cambridge. The book deals with the destructiveness of pursuing 'idols', particularly the materialistic kind. A sharp student  posted an interesting question - "If you say that I need to pursue God so that I don’t get overwhelmed by the 'idols' of materialism that can potentially destroy me, why can I not just posit an imaginary God in my mind?" After all, making an idol of materialistic goals is a problem of the mind - mind creates the idols. Why can't the solution, just be in the mind too?

The proponents of the New Age religion (yoga, TM etc...) have the answer to this question. They posit a ‘mystical’ God meditating upon whom/it will therapeutically heal the pain and the pressures of materialistic pursuits. New Ageism exalts the human being while making God as a 'puppet therapist' who can be invoked from within the mind of the Human Being. This 'therapist God' will bring peace and freedom to human mind troubled by relentless pursuit of materialistic idols. No wonder New Ageism originating from the East is now popular in materialistic cultures of the West.

Sadly, the New Ageistic ‘therapeutic’ methodology is followed some ‘Christian’ retreats I have been to. Quite a number of urban Evangelical Churches in their Worship Services, Sermons and Bible Studies follow this principle too. Man's needs are made the center of the proceedings. God is supposedly invoked through therapeutic worship and some prayer techniques, thereby helping everyone feel healed to live in a state of peaceful complacency.

If Christ were someone with whom one can spend 7 days and get the mojo back whether it be golf or catching fish, Christianity can be easily marketed to the secular culture. If Christ had only been a 'therapeutic' healer of sorts, He would never have been crucified. Christ was no therapist, neither is Christianity therapeutic. Any therapeutic benefits in Christianity are incidental, at best secondary. Christ’s quintessential claim was to be the King whom everyone owed allegiance to. 

Christ did not come to give us the ‘Best Life Now’ or create a ‘Champion in You’. Christ came to invite us into a story where we'll make less and less of ourselves and more and more of Him. The Gospel is NOT about us. The Gospel is about Christ and what He DID to draw us into His Story. The reason why the road to perdition is BROAD and the road to eternal life is NARROW is because this message of this 'change of allegiance' goes against what most people fundamentally want to do - make more and more of themselves.

Preachers, evangelists and Christian motivation speakers are not confident of making the ‘tough sell’ into the NARROW road. Wanting to be relevant, affirm and validate the pew-warmers, some of them dilute their message to a point where it is rather difficult to see how the ‘popular Christianity’ presented is different from the New Age religions which advocate similar ideas of superiority of Spiritual realities over the material ones, the need for community consciousness, sacrificial living... etc - resulting in therapeutic healing.

In trying to reach out to the secular culture and find the points of connection, 'popular Christianity' has gone too far; losing it own points of connections with the Gospel. The Gospel message - the supremacy of what Christ DID for us and how that changes our allegiance away from self towards Christ, is something that needs to be presented to Christians all over again. Else, Christianity would be reduced to another one of the interesting fads that 'works for some' and not for most others.

Why People Love Horses, But Not Christians?

I love horses. Seldom does a beast embody such a co-mingling of danger and beauty. In fact, the reason why I love motorcycles is because the motorcycle is the closest modern man can get to the horse.  

I have never been trained in riding horses, but every time I get a chance to ride one, I never let is pass. The last time I rode a horse, I fell off him as we were racing down a gravel-laden mountain trail. I nudged the horse to speed-up, but he got nudged a little too much. I did a mistake and the right stirrup came off. I fell and slid about 15 feet on the gravel ground . I had to be carried off to the hospital. It was the pure grace of God that none of my bones were broken.

Last weekend, when I was at Rocky Mountains Colorado, I got another chance to ride a horse. I couldn't resist the tug. But deep within, I was pretty scared. I didn't want to risk another accident. On the other hand, it was a challenge I couldn't resist.  My yearning for the dangerous power and beauty of the horse got the better of me. My horse was called 'Big Block', for a good reason. Eager to befriend him, I tried to talk to 'Big Block'. I patted him. I used cuddly language. But Big Block didn't give a damn about me. He didn't even look at me. ‘Memories’ of the old accident where wrenching me.

We started on our trails. Big Block was disobedient. He was the most unruly of all the other horses on the trail. I was very cautious and made certain that I was safe on the saddle till the end. When I safely got to the end, I asked a cowboy guide who came with us, "Why is Big Block sort of unruly?" He replied, "Oh, he is just trying to test your will. He is seeing how much he can push you. You have to be FIRM with him, then he'll obey." Basically, I had to exercise my 'dominion' over him, which I didn't because I was afraid of spooking him into dumping me.

Looking back, the problem with my less fulfilling horse-back riding was not Big Block. It was I - I had too small a goal. My goal in riding Big Block was to make sure that I was safe. I never intended to exercise 'dominion' over him as I should have. I was making sure I wouldn't fail. I was caught in my own prison of ‘small goals’. I had allowed ‘memories’ of my old mistakes and hurt to prevent me from risking bigger goals and enjoying Big Block to the fullest.

God created man to exercise 'dominion' over creation. But man messed it up in the Garden. Christ 'invaded' the messed up world and gave us 
1) A new script of freedom 
2) A new authority to exercise dominion 
3) A new a partnership with Him. 


Unfortunately, we still live in the 'memories' of the old man who messed things up. Being fearful, we shoot for the lowest common denominator – avoid sin. The highest goal of most good Christians is the lowest common denominator – live a life without sin.

Christians need to move out of their ‘small goal’ prison and exercise ‘dominion’ over the world. We need to start ethical corporations, build compassionate hospitals, revive the crumbling education systems, write good novels, paint sublime pictures, compose great music, show Hollywood how good movies are to be made – build the Kingdom of Heaven. Matt 11:12 - the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.


Being sophisticated, we the modern Christians, do not wish to be violent. We want to be 'nice' people. We cautiously shoot for a ‘small goal’ - of avoiding all sin by withdrawing into a Christian Ghetto. Our guiding principles are 
1) Safely saddle the Christian bandwagon that is on it way to heaven 
2) Don’t do ANYTHIG that will risk falling off 
3) Don't do ANYTHING that is dangerous 
4) Just stay safe until you get to heaven 


This is precisely why bland modern Christians, in comparison with the pre-modern kingdom-conquering counterparts, aren't dangerous or beautiful. Of course, the horses are better loved!

RIP

I was speaking with a friend over coffee on Saturday. We were talking about books and movies and politics as I do with most of my friends. But then the conversation shifted to music and musicals and operas. I was out of depth. I felt excited and challenged in a good way though, because suddenly I had something new I wanted to learn and in the following few days, I did learn some fascinating facts about music... :) 

Going back, On Saturday, I came home and as I was journaling, I was wondering why I hadn't really learned to pummel the depths of music. I just ‘passively' listen to everyone from 'Black Eye Peas' to BoneyM to Beethoven to Bach. I remember when I was a kid my mother did everything she could do to get me to have piano lessons. She even arranged for a tutor to come home and teach me. My naive rationale to not wanting to learn the music lessons was, "I have a mind that is keener than my ear. So it makes sense for me to invest in things that have to do with my thinking. I think learning music would take time away from my being able to accomplish something great with this mind of mine.” 

I preferred to be the master of one trade instead of being the jack of a bunch. I wanted to master all knowledge. My goal was to know everything about everything in life. Now, looking back, it just makes me smile at my own folly. I can't quite see that I accomplished anything of what I wanted to with my supposedly 'keen mind'. I had over-analyzed and misunderstood the benefits of learning music. Or maybe I was too lazy to invest in something that did not come naturally to me. Or maybe I was just too obsessed with a goal of wanting to know everything about everything. I missed an opportunity.

Looking back, I see my life is filled with 'hits' and 'misses'. More misses than hits. :P There are things I should have done which I have left undone. There are things which I oughtn't have done which I have done. But at the end of the day, one thing I know is this. The marking on my tombstone will read 'Rests in Peace'. For, no matter what I did or did not do, or will do or won't do, I know that I'll ultimately be 'content' in the Lord. 

After all, this life is NOT about ME. All of life's a stage that belongs to the Lord. Men and Women play their parts to the heavenly audience that applaud the grandeur of the Master Director. It is not so much about what I accomplish in life (or my 'hits' and 'misses'). Life is really about me playing my part in the 'Story of the Lord', which at the worldly level is the story of His ‘covenant community’. Whatever my part, whether it be to be the CEO or the Cobbler, it shall all be done for the glory of the Lord the Master Director.

In life, we struggle in the ‘tension’ between ambition and moderation, taking initiative and doing what is right. We need to remember what our last line on the Stage would be – ‘Rests In Peace’. We’ll be supremely satisfied to see the Lord ultimately glorified on the Stage, the Cosmos. The Master Director will have brilliantly turned our ‘hits’ and ‘misses’ into a Cosmic Story-line that ultimate glorifies of His Name. We are PROMISED in the Scriptures that the Lord Himself shall be our REWARD. His glory would be so beautiful that we’ll be lost in adoration. We would be totally satisfied. We would ‘Rest in Peace’ with no regrets for having missed what we thought we didn't want to miss. 

When we pray and read the Bible, we have he foretaste of this PROMISED REWARD. We need to press hard towards the goal, looking forward at the PROMISED Reward as we have our little foretastes of it in the minor theophanies we experience in this life. My problem of not knowing everything about everything couldn't have had a better solution. 

Looking Up at the Lord is the Easiest Thing, Says Who?

I was at Church and someone was rendering Charles Spurgeon’s conversion this way… Charles Spurgeon as a young man, cared little for the Lord. Then one day caught in a snow blizzard Charles got into a church where a humble preacher spoke about Christians needing to look up that the Lord. Then the preacher looked straight at Charles and said, “young man you need to look at the Lord”. Apparently Charles had a moment of theophany that led him to commit his life to the Lord. The person continued… All Christ expects us to do is to just look up at Him. “It is such an easy thing to do, isn’t it?”

I sat there thinking…. Technically, looking up at the Lord is the easiest thing to do, I don’t even have to move a finger. But in reality it is the toughest thing to do. For, to look up at the Lord, we have to first take our eyes off the idols that draw our attention. And if anyone thinks that it is easy, I’ll probably want to meet that person and garner some wisdom. I constantly find my attention going to my books, my blogs, my facebook page, my Netflix movies, my time spent getting up to date on current affairs from the Debt Limit debate in the US to the '2G Scam' in India to the plight of Christians in the Middle East. Of course, none of these are wrong in themselves. But when they become distractions from looking up at the Lord they become captivating idols. That apart, I find a BIG part of my attention directed at my own self. I am my own idol. Taking my eyes off all of these idols and looking up at the Lord is not an easy thing to do. That is precisely why St. Augustine pleads in his Confessions, “Lord, keep thy countenance in front of mine eyes, always”.

To blithely assume that we can look up at the Lord because it is such an easy thing to do might be the most naïve self-assessment. We, ‘being human’, of the lineage of Adam and Eve, need to understand that our most basic proclivity is to hide from the Lord. Being modern we no longer have to ‘actually’ hide. This being an 'instant-gratifying' world, have so many idols to be en-capsuled within. Consequently, we can easily live in state of denial that the Lord exists at all. It is in cognizance of this sorry state of ‘being human’ that we need to make St. Augustine’s prayer our own, “Lord, keep thy countenance in front of mine eyes, always.” Looking Up at the Lord isn’t the easiest thing to do.

Transformers and the Cocky Christians

Watching Transformers – The Dark Side of Moon (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/) on IMAX 3D was a very descent visual treat. There wasn’t much of a story, if I had made that movie I would have fired those in-charge of the script. The Transformers movies are primarily about the Supernatural ‘Autobots’. But the script writer made the movie into something about the natural humans. In this case, it the human happens to be one Mr. Sam. Sam is cocky about making sure that everyone knows he is special because of his special relationship with the ‘Autobots’. He does not seem to realize that he  looks foolish doing that. Most jerks don’t. In truth, was the Transformers that actually saved planet Earth, Sam happened to be the ‘chosen one’ with whom they had a relationship.

In one of the scenes, at the Military base getting ready to ‘save the world’, Sam is not allowed to 'call his shots' because of lack of military credentials. His long legged girl friend steps in chiding the rank and file, “Sam is the real super hero, not you guys. You (lesser mortals) should be listening to him” I sat there thinking, “Really? So those beautiful virtuous Supernatural Autobots who ‘really’ did all the work to save planet earth aren’t the real Super heroes? This sissy of a guy who is insecure even around your stud of a boss, is a super-hero???” It is incredible how the script writers have tried to make the story that is about the ‘Autobots’ into a story that is about someone who just happens to be the ‘chosen’ messenger. Not to mention and have done a very bad job at it.

Looking back, this shouldn’t be that surprising. After all, this is human nature. People sharing witnesses at Church sometimes seem do the same thing. Christians, take God’s story and make themselves look good in it. Even when the testimony involves sharing something that is self effacing, at a deeper level the Christian if often working the story, twisting it to get more ‘self-branding’ mileage. Most of the time, the self-effacing brand builder covertly tries to show off how he/she is more intimate with the Lord or knows more about the Lord than the rest of the ‘lesser mortals’. We are prone to yield to such self-promoting attitudes because we often forget that we are Christians only because we have been ‘chosen’ to be a part of the Lord’s covenant community. We forget that Christ did ALL the work on the cross. We forget that there is no reason for us to boast. Every attempt we make to twist the Lord’s story to make it into one where we are super-heroes, we like Sam end up being the cocky Christian fools. If we are sharp, we’ll hear the Angels laughing from the stands. He who has ears…

A Part in the Story of the Kingdom of God

One of the most fulfilling experiences in life is in observing a life that is being transformed. It is precisely for this reason that watching children grow and transform into adults is an enriching experience. It is worth all the sacrifices involved in parenthood. The Scriptures say that the Lord gave His life on the Cross to transform our lives to better reflect His glory. This is so spectacular that even the Angels are eagerly looking to see how the Lord brings about this transformation and cheer, from the stands in the Heavens, every addition to the Flock.

Often, it is through the experiences of pain, suffering and confusion that the Lord draws people to Himself to start this transformation. Paraphrasing C.S.Lewis, "Pain is the megaphone the Lord used to get our attention". When a gentleman walks into the Teen Pregnancy Centre with the damsel he has got in distress, he finds himself at this point of inflexion. He feels the tug of the Transcended law of love written into his conscience by God. On the other hand, he feels the drag of the ‘fallen’ world overwhelming him into making a choice that is selfish. Some men are visibly shaken, others put up an aura of masculine strength. But deep within they all are anxious and confused wanting a sense of certainty and direction. The male counsellor finds himself looking into the troubled eyes of such a man. Feeling inept, the counsellor prays and allows the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation. At some point the Holy Spirit causes a 'click' in the troubled mind and the clear-sighted light of dawn emerges.

To be able to witness this transforming work of this Holy Spirit first hand, is most fulfilling for the counselor. My most recent experience of such a fulfillment was a couple of weeks ago. I woke up on a Saturday morning, ready with my weekend plans. I wanted to go sit at a Starbucks and read Michael Horton's "Gospel Driven Life". But deep within, I felt a tug to go to the Teen Pregnancy Center instead. I did so. There I had the privilege of counseling and presenting the gospel to two gentlemen. Seeing the Light of the Gospel dispel the anxiety and confusion in them made the Saturday one of the happiest days of my life.

Looking back at the experience, my reward did not come from a sense of satisfaction of having done something good. After all I did nothing, except to show up at the Teen Pregnancy Center with empty hands. The Holy Spirit did all the heavy-lifting. The Holy Spirit creates something Good out of Nothing. He builds the Kingdom of God. My reward was of a different sort. My reward was in being draw me closer to the Lord as a witness of the transforming experience. Witnessing the Kingdom building work of the Lord the Holy Spirit renewed my trust in the power of the Gospel of the crucified Lord. The Kingdom of God is like the most treasured pearl. The Bible says that a wise merchant would sell all of his possessions to acquire the pearl. All I did was to spend a few hours on a Saturday morning volunteering at the Teen Pregnancy Centre. Yet, by the Lord’s grace I was given a part in the Grand Story of the Kingdom of God that the Holy Spirit is working on.

Lord Of The Rings - Off My Bucket-List!!!

Back when 'Lord of the Rings' movies released in 2001 - 2003, I was in India. I very vaguely recall the movie releasing in theaters. Unfortunately, I wasn't that into the world of books to have had an appreciation for anything Fantasy related. In fact, I started Harry Potter in 2002, I read the first page, thought it ridiculous. Closed the book. Never went back. I was THAT naive about fantasy literature. Thanks to my friend Sean Sonki who told me that I would appreciate LOTR movies. I LOVED them. I would watch them once every year. I usually try to watch all three the same day back-to-back so that I have the experience of transcending into the world of Middle Earth.

Everytime I watched them I regretted that I never got to watch them in the movie theatre. So I had it on my bucket-list that someday I'll get to watch the Trilogy in some movie theatre somewhere. I had no idea that that someday would be yesterday and that that some place would be Houston.

For the past month, I have been counting down to June 14th. Almost all my friends in Houston knew that I was going to watch the LOTR. Even if I were to get married, I doubt if I would have publicised it as much. Oh well, perhaps not the marriage, the engagement wouldn't have been as publicized. (I'll let the world know when I get married) :) So finally, on June 14th, my heart was beating a tad bit faster through out the day. It sort of feels AWESOME when you know that you are taking something off your bucket-list, something that is tangible but also transcends into the intangible.

I walked into the Edwards Marquee Cinemas at 6:30 and there was a queue at the counter, which was unusual for a weekday. I had booked my tickets a month in advance the perpetual procrastinator with everything in life not withstanding. After all, one may  not get two chances to check an item off the bucket-list. God knows how on earth I landed in Houston around this time. Nevertheless, I was gonig to make sure I didn't miss LOTR this time around.

There were two guy dressed as the 'Black Riders'. I smiled. I walked into the movie hall with about 15 minutes to spare, but even as I was walking through the narrow corridor, I could hear the murmrous crecendo building up... The auditorium was almost full. The energy was palpable. By the time the movie started I couldn't see a single vacant seat.

The show started with the legendary LOTR director Peter Jackson saying that we were the first people in the world to watch the re-mastered version of LOTR movies, not to mention that they were extended versions too (with some cool extra scenes I had never seen before). Following Peter Jackson's revelation, there was a spontaneous applause. The avid movie goer that I am, the only other time I remember people clappping in the movie theatres in Houston is at the end of 'Inception' where to 'top does not topple' making the end pretty darn ironic and open-ended.

When the applause and hoots had died down, the movie started with Lady Galadriel's melancholic voice, "The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air". I thought, "Well, this is IT". I know not, how time flew for the next 3 hours and 30 minutes. In spite of having seen LOTR so many times, the scenes were fresh and MOST spectacular. The images got ingrained in my mind all over. I was IN Middle Earth for 3 hours 30 minutes. When the movie was over at 10:30 PM, people applauded again. What a way to get something off the bucket-list.

The truth is, I had never read LOTR. Graduating from college, I decided not to read fiction anymore, unless there was good reason to. About a month ago, I realized that I could take LOTR off my bucket-list. It seemed like a good enough reason to read the Trilogy. A couple of weeks ago, I was at Church reading LOTR on my Kindle and West walked up to me and asked what I was reading. I said LOTR. He replied, "Knowing you, I am surprised, I thought you would have read it long ago". Oh well, I am sort of a late bloomer... Of course I didn't tell him that. After all, I am grateful that I get to read LOTR with quite a few years left in my tweens. :) 

I am not done with LOTR yet. I am just at the point where Sam and Frodo meet Gollum. I kind of slow as I am juggling Horton, Packer and Tolkien. And my favorite character until now is Tree Beard. I fell in love with Tree Beard when he said something like, "Oh well, I don't think anything is worth saying anything unless it is worthy listening to for a long time". Tree Beard is heavenly is that he lives in a 'timeless' world and speaks for a long time. He says his name is long because he has a long history. How SO AWESOME!!! I also love Gimli, he is a man's man and a child's child. He is brave and he blushes. He bows when he greets! And he's got an AAAAxe with strong arms to wield them. You would be hard pressed to find such strength and sweetness mingled in one person.

A week ago, when I told one group of my friends (who knew LOTR forwards and backwards not to mention silmarillion), about LOTR coming back to the theatres, one of the guys said sarcastically, "Who'll want to go and see it?". Another ones rejoinder was, "Oh, Emmanuel for one...". Looking at the packed theatre, I felt vindicated. I was glad that I wasn't the only one who was crazy about the movie form of the timeless Trilogy. 

At the movie theater, even though I didn't know anyone there, except for my friend Allan, there was a sense of kinship with all - a sense of being with Friends who, as C.S.Lewis says in 'Four Loves', are shoulder-to-shoulder seeing the same thing (actually, quite literally in a movie theater). Friends don't look at each other, says Lewis, they sit beside each other shoulder-to-shoulder and look at the same world, eye-to-eye. To be in the midst of such a 'transcended space' and then subtend to the view that human beings endowed with such incredible abilities to create and admire and cherish beauty, came out of chance + time + slime is such an incredible leap of faith.

If the Lord had not made the flower beautiful, where would we have gotten our ability to cherish beauty? If there weren't a Real Other world we could Transcend into someone day, how could we ever TRULY cherish our fore-transcendence into the world of Fantasy? Thank God for putting into the world fallen as it is, the abiltity to fore-transcend to experience the Beauty that awaits us the Timeless Realm of the Lord. After all, Frodo lives in the Realm of the Lord and we shall too!