Powerful Men so Miserably in Love

I call those men as powerful who have the power to twist and turn reality to suit their ends. They are men who have the ability to inspire and even manipulate people to achieve their ends. They are equally admired, envied and hated by the throng, the average men. Anyone in the throng would love to be where these men are but they just haven’t the power in them.

But God when he created the powerful men, did not want to leave the throng to feel that God was partial. So He made these men so powerful that when it came to the issue of love they were the most miserable.

The powerful men having been so used to changing reality to suit their wants and needs get baffled when it comes to love. Love is always a mystery to them, a mystery that haunts them day in a day out. Love is something they never get to understand, everything else they understand and can manipulate, but against love, they are completely powerless.

They are unable to accept their powerlessness and try to get more powerful only to realize that it does not work as they expect it to.

Having been used to forcing people their way, they presume love works that way only to realize that Love is the one thing that can never be forced. The only thing that can bring about love is the giving up of ones own self for the others sake. But the powerful man will never be able to give ones self up. No. Never. So he tries a lot of other means only to find that he fails again and again.

The movie Citizen Kane (1940), the movie that ranks the first in the American Film Institute (AFI), brings out this concept so beautifully. In the movie Charlie Kane is the Powerful man, a media conglomerate who loves the power that he welds in shaping public opinion. He makes everyone think what he wants to think. He loves it.

There is one thing he cannot do, he cannot make anyone love him. He wants everyone to love him his way, without he having to give any of his up. But he fails. He then attempts to use his power and money to buy love, but he realizes that he ends up buying pleasure seekers not lovers. Once their hedonistic needs are satisfied, they elope leaving him lonely in his powerful world.

Citizen Kane was a movie based on a real life character William Randolph Hearst I who was a media mogul living in America in the early part of 20th centaury.

When I was reading about the charismatic CEO of Oracle Corp, and the fifth richest man in America, Larry Ellison, I found some amazing parallels. Larry Ellison is a powerful man who loved to twist reality to suit his ends. He rose in fame and riches, he lead a flamboyant lifestyle.

Nevertheless his had one inexorable need, the need for love. He was married and divorced thrice. He had so many famous affairs with so many beautiful women. His houses were most beautiful and his yachts and jets were spoken off by the rich and powerful.

He concedes to an interviewer that his great need was for a strong marriage; his reason for one he says is for the need for shared experiences. He called his third wife with whom he had two kids just to tell her how lonely he felt in his big beautiful house. He wanted love but he wanted it his way. He presented his first wife with a Benz many years after their divorce, all she said was that she was glad that she got the Benz and not him.

How so miserable the love lives of such Powerful men is.

A Waste of Marriage Ceremonies

Marriage ceremonies appear to be a big waste of money. In any average Indian city one has to give 1 lac to the owner of the marriage hall. 1 lac for the dresses to the dress merchant for dresses for family and friends and another 1 lac (at least) to the caterers. I am not including the jewelry costs.

If the bride and groom and families were to decide to skip all the ceremony and donate the money to some well deserving cause, it would make a lot more sense, wouldn’t it? There are quite a lot of people who have small ceremonies, but I doubt if that is because they want to donate more money for charity. There are some people who donate quite a sum for charity as they go about spending for marriage which is a commendable act. (I am not talking about the tithing the groom’s family does so ‘magnanimously’ out of the dowry)

But I guess some where there would be people ‘strong’ enough skip the privilege of ceremonies for the sake of greater love. ‘Strong’ because this is non-conformity to the accepted customs and because it is about going against ones own natural inclinations. Anyone who gets married would want to be honored and ‘feel loved’ by the presence of so many well wishers. Such ceremonies make the memory of marriage special and cherished. If one has to deny such ‘cherished’ ceremonies for the sake of the poor and the underprivileged, it takes a lot of ‘strength’ and ‘love’.

This is just a thought, I am not trying to say that one type of marriage ceremony is better than the other. Customs and ceremonies are a part of our culture, they can’t be wrong in spite of all the prejudice imbibed in them, but to break away from them for the ‘greater good’ is commendable.

Well, yes parents do enjoy getting their children married, to deny them that may be cruel of the children. So that means the parents too should be ‘strong’ enough to stand by the ideals of their children. If parents are too rich and if they like to see their child married may be they can contribute an equal sum for charity J so that becomes an all win situation.

What I am saying is perhaps too idealistic, I don’t disagree. I can’t really say that when I get married that I would want to cut ‘all’ of the ceremony part and donate it all to charity. But may be some part of it could be eliminated.

May be instead of giving food to the ‘already fat’ Christian throng suffering from heart problems and diabetes, I could serve lunch for three days for all patients and dependents in the government hospital. Honestly, I don’t think this is idealistic or unrealistic. It is easily doable. With God all things are possible.

Some may consider such ideas to be iconoclastic as they may think that it amounts to desecrating the age old customs. No it is not, this is not about breaking away from age old customs but about being principled in what one does. It’s about allowing principles (as against accepted practices) to be the guide in every aspect of ones life.

Superman is not the ruthlessly powerful man, but the rationally principled man. Without strength none can be principled. I am sure there are people in this world who are strong enough to do it this way, but we don’t get to know them as it does not make interesting news as L.N.Mithal renting out the Lawn in Louvre Museum to have the reception for his daughter’s wedding.

In the movie, ‘Rebecca’ 1940 (the only Alfred Hitchcock movie which won an oscar for best picture and I love every time no matter how many times I watch it) the rich guy marries her in a pretty unceremonious way. Actually the way he proposes to her is classic, if you get a chance to see the movie in TCM don’t you ever miss it. Ok… lets not digress from the topic.

Strength is in ones ability to walk by principles (as set by God) even when it is against natural inclinations and accepted practices.



Option 1: Ascetic and idealistic:
Here there is no wedding ceremony everything is spent for charity. The problem with this is that this is intrinsically untenable. Let me explain, if I were to go and tell my fiance 'Honey, you know what why dont we fore go our celeberation and turn over all expenses (as an act
of love) to charity becuse there are so many people suffering in the world', her reply (looking me in the eye) would be 'yeah, darling, so many people suffering in the world need your help, so why dont you go a step further (as an act of supreme love) and become a monk and serve
them with all your heart, soul and mind'. Even the great selfless Melanie of 'Gone with the wind' may not give a different response, not even for the 'idealistic and soft' Ashely Wilkes.

The point here is that, she has a valid point.This proposition is intrinsically flawed because the kind of sacrifice demanded is that of monkhood, not family life. I did not want to put it that bluntly that is why I said she'll 'run off' and look for a 'better' guy.

Option 2: Realistic and balanced: (and cherised)
Here I suggest that one has to have the wedding ceremony but spend quite some sum on the poor and I suggested that they feed the patients and helpers in government hospitals for 3 days (if not a week). I know how much the patients there suffer, this would mean a lot to them.

This would give more cherished memories about one wedding ceremonies. And it is very easy to do, it would mean a lot of help to the helpless. In one act you would have fed the hungry and visited the sick. To do it as a part of wedding ceremony is most beautiful.

Option 2 is easily workable and it should be acceptable to the majority. If someone dares to go by option 1, I would applaud them. I would go and shake hands with them because I would know that in heave, they would be at a place much higher than I and I woudn't be able to shake hands with them then.

The Journey - a love story

'The Journey' is a beautiful 1959 movie I watched sometime back in TCM. TCM is a channel which telecasts some of the good old movies. Its simply a joy to watch TCM.

This movie stars the great Yul Brynner (Ramses in the 'Ten Commandments' ) and Deborah Kerr (Legia in the 'Quo Vadis').

If I have to surmise the movie in one line, I think it ought to be - 'Love is stronger than power'.

Yul Brynner the young, charismatic, powerful Russian captain posted in Hungary falls in love with Deborah Kerr the moment he casts his eyes on her. Debarah Kerr is helping a man her former friend, a wounded revolutionist fighter to escape from the Yul's grasp. Yul knows that.

Yul Bryner has the absolute power to crush them both, but his love for her drives him insane. His duty called for him to crush the wounded revolutionist fighter, but he knows that if he were to do so, he would loose the only opportunity he had to impress her. Consequently, he does some of the funniest things he could do to try to impress her.

He fights a battle to try to impress her. He disregards his duty, his power, his everything. Only to find at the end that he had destroyed himself by his 'falling' in love, proving again that falling in love is often futile.

What is intriguing about the movie is that the director seems to leave it to the viewer to decide whether or not she was in love with him. Perhaps she too was in her battle was fighting her love for him, trying to suppress it as best as she could.

Both of them fight a battle. He fights a battle to make her love him and she fights a battle to not love him at any cost. In the end, who wins?

I think none wins. He relegates his love to fate and I guess she does regret that he, such a powerful man had to do it.

It’s a movie that all should watch. The movie has no obscenity which is admirable for a Hollywood movie.

Acts of Love

If there is one thing that which if you understood in all its fullness, then your life would be an astounding sucess, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing that gives life a meaning that is timeless yet tangible, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing worth living for and dieing for, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing we ought'n ever loose in our lives, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing which will conquer all, its is LOVE.
If there is one thing which only fills the giver with joy, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing that make a person, a person, it is LOVE
If there is one thing which can be given which is immaterial but still tangible and most cherished, it is LOVE.

Love which satisfies all these conditions is not a feeling. It is an ACT of the will - the 'Acts of Love'.

Inherit the Wind

My client Chief Architect, Tony, a 63 year old intelligent soft-natured Texan, when I asked him the usual question I ask many people, 'What is your favorite movie?' said 'Inherit the Wind'. It’s been about a year since he said it and only a few days back I got a chance to see the movie. Actually the last part of the movie in MGM channel.

Gosh!!! It was great. It about the Creationism Vs Darwinism controversy. Actually its based on a real court case called 'Money Trail' in 1925 in Tennesse where it was prohibited by law to teach Darwinism in schools. But a teacher taught Darwinism and was pulled into court.

At the court, Darwinism does an intellectual coup during the arguments, but Creationism wins the case. And creationism though has won the case, is not vindicated by the intelligentsia as represented by the press.

The lead Creationism witness is a respected Presbyterian who had run for the presidential election thrice. After all, what could a good man who had never trained his mind to be critical or cynical of anything good in life, do in the face of such a (pseudo)intellectual challenge.

As the trail wears on and the incredulity of the Presbyterian becomes obvious, the lawyer representing Darwinism instead of reveling in the intellectual victory is, on the contrary, haunted by a loss of meaning. In spite of the humiliation and the intellectual ineptness of the Christian witness to counter his arguments, the lawyer finds in him an inexplicable zeal and passion which he himself lacked, and realizes that there is something beyond the intellectual from which the Presbyterian drew his value and meaning from.

Consequently what one would expect to be moments of exuberance about impending victory becomes moments of intense poignancy for the Lawyer. He wonders what it was that he was missing which the Presbyterian didn’t, and from which the Presbyterian could draw all his strength. The lawyer had a gnawing feeling in his heart that it wasn’t the impersonal reason, which was the Lawyer’s driving force, that the Presbyterian missed. The Presbyterian seemed to have something much more unphantomable and strong, something much better than intellect or reason.

After the whole thing is over, when the lead reporter, an inexorable atheist, declares that press would declare the Darwinian side the winner, the Darwinism lawyer looks at him and asks if he, at the end of everything, if he didn’t feel that there was something more to life than reason or intellect, and that value and meaning in life was lost without that something.

Whenever physical theories of physical sciences are extrapolated into metaphysical truths of religion and life, value and meaning are lost and the truth in the last words of the lead Darwinism lawyer exemplifies it

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind:
and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart Proverbs 11:29


This movie was made way back in 1960, back at that time Nihilism and Postmoderism weren't yet the order of the day, you'll be surprised to see how the arguments of the lead Darwinism lawyer rests on the optimism of 'renaissance reason' completely devoid of the nihilistic delusion about human reason.

As I was listening to his arguments, my mind was reeling with what Peter Kreeft, C.S.Lewis, James W. Sire had to say.

The Darwinism Lawyer makes his case that it is reason that is superior to revelation. But he some how never seems to wonder how something so beautiful as reason would exist without a maker when ‘Mona Lisa’ something much less beautiful needs One.

He also somehow seems to forget the point made by the man who was the first to hail reason was the arbiter of Truth, Des Cartes, when he said that there had to be a good God for reason to be good enough. Without a good God, there is no way one can trust reason to be good.

Withoug a good God, the snake of reason begins to eat its own tail.

CEO - Mother : Passion to create 'Home Sweet Home'

I was just reading the article on ET about Indra Nooyi. She is the fifth most powerful women in the corporate arena. She is the CEO and Chairman of the 33$ billion Pepsi Co. I admire her a lot for her ‘performance for a purpose’ principle which is so much my own outlook of how a corporate ought to function. I admire her for the passion she has for her work.

But she makes a poignant remark that she was shocked when her 14 year old daughter sent her a mail to fix an appointment with her. The poor thing just couldn’t see her mother at home. I admire Nooyi for her frankness in talking publicly about the reality of her life. Such is the demands of the corporate life.

The article is a wonderful read, her catchy idea of ‘performance for a purpose’ strikes a chord. Purpose with Pepsi, is that to make people more obese??? You may wonder, just as I did when I was reading it, but she has a way of explaining herself quite convincingly out of the seeming contradiction. The article talks about her strategy and vision and how it is commendable at the end of it all one is left with for this great woman is admiration. And perhaps even a burning desire that one day you too would be at the helm of a company and see visions and build strategies.

But the last line of the article goes something like this ‘If only motherhood could be made easier by come clear cut strategy and vision’.

The article drives you with romantic ideas of vision and strategy and purpose… but ends bringing you back into touch with reality where the question comes as to which is more important to ones life career or family? More often than not, it appears to be an either or question… may be someone can find some theoretical way of explaining one self out of the either or, but none actually succeeds in life.

I just googled on Nooyi to know more about her and realized that she had replaced Reinemund who was with Pepsi for 22 years and was considered young and energetic even at 58, which for a CEO isn’t that old an age. The reason Reinemund had given for his unexpected retirement was that he wanted to spend more time with his kids.

At the end of the day it is ones kids that matter, it does not really matter whether the company grew 30% or 10% annually during ones COEship, the company simply does not give a damn. Sometime back I asked a divorcee if marriage was worth all trouble and got the reply that having kids were worth all the trouble and even more.

I read Ben Stien’s remark some years ago but still keeps popping back to my mind (heart) again and again – ‘If you want to do the best investment in the world, go home early and throw ball to your son’.

On reading such truths, one wonders what has happened of all the fire that burned in one heart when reading rhetoric like ‘performance for purpose’ or ‘strategic vision’. At the end of the day all one needs is a good home to cherish. To create that 'home sweet home' and to help others create for themselves has to be the passion of ones life.

Results & People

Over the past year, in my company I have been leading a team of developers to develop applications. Over the course of the year, I realized that there were two corner stones to being able to successfully leading a team - Results & People.

Without people there can be no results, without results there is no point having people. Though Marx would be indignant, it happens to be true that the abilities of people are calibrated by how worthy his or her results is to the corporate world he works for.

An important role of a leader is to see to it that the right balance is maintained between interests of people and the results achieved by them. There are times when one has to make a compromise between the two.

There are times when people will have to be driven even though that may have to spend 16 hrs a day in office to get results. There are times when individual need to have some time off must be given preference over results. A good manager is one who is able use his judgment to know when to compromise what.

Marx feared that man's dignity would be lost if his worth is judged by the worthiness of the results he shows. He is right in a way, but may be he has forgotten that a part of the essence of what man is lies in his creative abilities so to judge a man's worth in a the context of the corporate world by the worthiness of his creative abilities isn't unfair after all.

In fact it is only fair to demand results and judge by it so that a person who shows more result by hard work and diligence can be rewarded more than the one who is lazy and complacent.

A good manager should be able to keep his team working hard at the same time see to it that his team is enthusiastic and flowing with energy. That way, results are impeachable and people are happy, these are two of the many important corner stones in managing a team.

Primacy of Questions.

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers" - Voltire.

This is one of the best quotations I have come across of late. Questions say so much about a man, there can be no man without questions for to be a man without questions is to be no man at all.

But one shouldn’t forget that life isn’t a question, it is a quest for Truth. Life is not a ‘pursuit of happiness’ or pleasure or art or even passion. Life is a quest for Truth. Not the Truth about life but the Truth about self. The self as created by God. The Truth of self lies in the purpose for which it is created. All great men of the past have been men who were on the quest for Truth. Whether it be Socrates or St. Augustine or St. Aquinas.

Martin Luther was a courageous man who was on a quest for Truth, he was willing to put his life at risk to be on the side of Truth. What the world needs is not jesters and clowns who titillate our senses to imbecility, but courageous men who will question and be on the quest for the Truth.

As Peter Kreeft says 'Emeth' is the purpose of life. 'Emeth' is the hebrew word for the quest for Life's Truth.

Marriage - Parent's Choice Conflict

The Bible says that we should honour our parents. We need to love ourparents. I think one of the greatest honours one can give to ones parents isto give them a say in the issue of choosing our marriage partners. Yes, I amnot mincing words, we loose a little bit of our independence. But that iswhat Love is about. Love always entails loss of a little bit ofindependence. If we love God, we'll loose a little bit of indepence, if welove money we'll loose a little bit of indpendence. But to looseindependence for the former cause is better. Likewise to loose a little bitof independence to our parents in choosing our life partner is good, in thesense that they come with a wealth of experience and can be a great valueaddition in the process of choosing.

The other point is even in marriage, when I'll loose a little bit of my independence, she too will loose a little bit of hers, because we'll loveeach other. If I cannot tolerate loosing a little bit of my independence forthe cause of parental love, it would be absolute incredulity to believe theI'll tolerate loosing a little bit of my independence for spousal love.

I am not saying that ones parents should have the absolute final say. No.The final decision rests with the child. But parents will have to have a saynot from an authoritatively but as a counselor.
Infact, I think men shouldtalk to their mothers about the prospective girl they want to marry. Womenshould talk to fathers about the prospective boy they want to marry. Mothers are good in assessing girls and fathers are good in assessing boys.

If I am given a choice to choose in a fashion completely independent ofparental counsel and paying heed to parental counsel. I wouldn't think twiceto opt for the latter way of paying heed to parental counsel. Firstly,because they feel honoured and secondly because I am reducing the risk. Theyknow me all my life, it is reasonable to trust that they know what kind ofgirl would be compatible to me. At least, they'll know the kind of personthat isn't compatible with ones son or daughter.

An 'appalam' making experience..

My mom and dad insisted that I would reduce mass only if I stopped having food at hotels and tried my own cooking. So I decided to try cooking something, dont ask me what, you would drain your energy laughing. I tried to make some pappads.

I left the oil in the pan and went to see the movie 'The Good, the Bad and the Ulgy' in my computer, it had been a year since I had seen it. I forgot that the oil was getting over heated, by the time I remembered, I ran to the kitchen and found the oil smoking. I switched off the gass, but suddenly the oil in the pan caught fire.

I tried blowing it off, it did not work, i did not know what to do, on impulse I poured water and the flames blew up ceiling high (my friends told me that I was lucky the oil did not spill on me when i poured water), apparently pouring water on burning oil had been a very very bad idea.

It was still burning, flames were going higher. I had absolutely no idea what I had to do. I was standing there looking at the flames and thinking. I was thinking of what would happen if the fire went out of control and the . I live in a kind of line-house setup and there are families living all around. What would the headlines in News papers say, "Software Engineer brought houses down in fire trying to make pappads", or worse still "10 dead because Software Engineer did not know how to make pappads".

And that would become another reason why houses should not be rented out to bachelors. Oh, no I thought, I cannot allow that to happen, the fire was still burning as strong as ever. I had to get my mind back to sloving the problem rather than worrying about the implications of failure.

I stood there thiking for probably about 20 seconds on how to stop the fire. I remember studying in school that unless oxygen supply was stopped, fire cannot be stopped. I remembered that in school I was taught that if someone was on fire he must be rolled in a blanket. I thought I couldn't use blankets with oil as the blanket too may catch fire and that may make matters worse as my refrigerator was next to the burner. What if the refrigerator catches fire. The blanket idea had to be discarded as it was more foolish than the water idea.

The way to cutt off oxygen supply was to cover the pan. I thought I use a plate, but all plates I had were unbreakable plastic plates, what if they melt in the heat. That wouldn't do any good. So I was searching for a steel vessel wide enough to cover the pan. At last, I found one and placed it over the pan cutting off the oxygen supply and soon the fire subsided. I set out a sigh of relief. At least no bachelor would be denied a house because I couldn’t make pappads J.

I came back out of the kitchen much relieved and continued watching Client Eastwood, Lee Vaan Cleef and Elli Wallach trio create magic.

Beautiful Chennai :)

I was going on my late night walk yesterday. Just as I was about to finish it at about 12:30 am, a mild drizzle started. I seldom miss an opportunity to get wet in the rain so I decided to prolong the walk and started walking across the bridge near my house. There was a cool sea breeze and the rain droplets against my skin had a great sensation. As I was going around there was a sudden reckoning that Chennai was indeed beautiful, at least late nights.

Chennai, she is a great city.
She is crazy in the mornings
She is cruel in the afternoons
She slows down at twilight
And late nights, she is beautiful.

If you disagree with me, just go to marina beach and sit there and you’ll know how blessed on is to be in Chennai. White floodlit sand all around, the feel of the sea breeze against your hair, the distant sound of waves lashing, lights of ships marking the horizon, the lights of flights landing and taking off from the airport, and if you are lucky a full moon right in front of you. Go sit there with a good friend and talk of life and you wouldn’t know time passing by. But very soon the police man would come around and ask you to get the hell out of there. Those were lovely days when I used to be in Triplicane. Life moves on… J

Spineless men still in dark ages - the dowry menance

I have been wondering as to why the 21st centaury guy who sports a Nike shoe, speaks into a 20k cell phone, wears faded denim and hangs out at coffee days, in most cases, hasn't the 'spine' to say that he wouldn't make dowry demands when he looks for a bride. Or that he wouldn't tolerate anyone getting a dowry on his behalf. Why is it that though he has physically moved into the 21st centaury, he is still 'really' in the dark ages?

Some guys blame it on their parents as though every other decision about their lives they always defer to their parents. Why does he not salvage some dignity for himself by holding his ground by insisting to his parents that he wouldn't agree to a marriage where dowry was a part of the deal?

I admire the few men who have come forward to not make any dowry demands as a principle. There are quite a few men who prove that they have a spine and can stand on two legs by themselves. What the world needs most today is such men with a 'spine' who are willing to walk over blind traditions and prejudices for the sake of an admirable principle which are worth living for and dieing for.

A blessed sunday

I had been thinking about self-denial for sometime now, thanks to Peter Kreeft's "Love is stronger than death". I went to chruch this Sunday and we were too few to have a youth meeting. Just Vasanth and I were avilable. Hence the hotel was closed, but I never allowed that to prevent me from having a good meal when I was hungry. This Sunday I was not just hungry for fellowship I was starved, famished and fainting. I did not want to die, I wanted to live so I decided to peep into NLAG, it had been two years since I had been to NLAG. I was too late for Power house.

At NLAG I found something going on under the banner of 'NLAG YOUTH', I never knew that NLAG had a youth, nevertheless I entered because that was what I was looking for. A lady was preaching again on Self denial. As I was sitting there all of the scattered thoughts I had had about self-denial began to make sense. I was sitting there in comeplete awe. After the message took the oppertunity to clarify a doubt in her message.

At our service at St.Georges I was reading the hymn book (something I always do when the anouncements begin) to search for some words of 'age old wisdom'. There I found the words "Love triumphs over loss". It is a misinterpretation to think that it is a philosophical statement. It is a 'highly' existential one. When I read it I couldn't understand how it could existentially happen, through the rest of the service I was pre-occupied with that but still was at loss about it.

When I was listening to the message at NLAG youth all of a sudden somehow, thoughts gelled together, it wasn't about what the lady was preaching. It was what Peter Kreeft said and God speaking and I understood it. I was having revelation after revelation. It was too good. At the end of the day I was glad the hotel was closed :) God is good.

I ended my week as usual at the Tiruvanmiur beach except that my usual friend was out of town so i took Peter Kreeft with me and a miniature book reading light. He was speaking and I was listening. I was still reading Peter Kreeft at Ascendas eating KFC burger and there was another revelation from Peter Kreeft that what God expects from us is our silence not our ramblings in the name of prayer. That He is the subject not the object of our prayers.

On the whole it was a blessed day. God is brilliant, if the category of brilliance can be applied to Him.

How is it possible???

Over the past weekend I had a 'bit' of free time, so I decided to indulge in the frivolous pleasure of watching all three parts of Lord of the Rings which takes about 10 hours.

There are so many things that are stricking about Lord of the Rings. Something that was profoundly striking about that movie is the valour exhibited by the race of men. The race of men is potrayed as fickle minded and is predisposed to evil but at the same time they are strong and have a sense of honour and valour.

In the movie, a relatively small number of men are arrayed againts a much larger and 'physically' stronger orch force of the dark Lord of Sauron. On the eve of the battle the men with the King of Rohnan ask them if there was any chance for them win the battle.

The king of Rohnan minces no words when he replies 'No we will not win... but we will fight nevertheless'. Contrary to what we would expect, the men around him aren't afraid, they are inspired. How? Or perhaps why?

We cannot understand it, but deep within we know that we wouldn't be doing anything different if we were there. Why is it that even if we dont understand why they do it, we strongly feel deep within that we would do the same?

How is it possible for these men to charge gallantly into a sure death? Knowing well that they will end up feeling the blood warmed cold metal of the soward piercing their breast.

Is it folly? Or is it pride? Or is it valour? Or is it honor? Or is it love? Or is it all of it?

The same triat is found in the movie 300 as well. Here too men go to war knowing well that they will not win. They fight valiantly and feel honoured and happy to be in there fighting their way to a sure death.

Why does the modern mind have difficulty understanding this?

I think it is probably because of humankind's unanimous 'post-modern' agreement that the purpose of life is the 'pursuit of happiness/pleasure'. Where as the 'pre-modern' mind thought that the pursuit of life was the quest for the Truth, Truth (hebrew Emeth) meaning that they are to be happy in what they are 'supposed' to be. Their purpose of life was in fulfilling thier purpose of life, not in perusing pleasure.

When one thinks of life as a pursuit of pleasure, such heroism is not possible, such heroism would look foolish. When on thinks of life as the fulfilling of a greater purpose, all hardships and toils will be pleasurable.

When suffering has a meaning/purpose, life is beautiful J. A life without suffering is death as in the Brave New World. Hats off to Aldous Huxley who had the guts to write the dystopian truth in the Brave New World.

Women in Corporate careers

I have always admired women who aspire to sit along side men in boardrooms making billion dollar decisions. But yesterday I was reading the penultimate chapter of Jack Welsh's 'Winning' about Work-Life balance that the caused me to reconsider my admiration for such inspired fairer sex.

Jack Welsh says that in 1960-70s no one talked of work-life balance because back then the corporate world was male bastion, women took care of the family. In 1980s women began to make inroads and when women worked it there wasn't anyone to take care of family and so work-life balance became an issue to be reckoned with.

In the book, he writes about something the no. 2 HR of GE a lady by name Susan said. She said that when she went on business visits across the world leaving her seven year old daughter at home that she would go all the way crying. Probably because her daughter was crying and she couldn't give what her daughter wanted (which is herself) because her want for corporate glory was higher than her want for her daughter not to cry.

Jack then talks of an event in a question forum in which a woman asked him about a solution to the problem of women having to make a lot of sacrifices by remaining unmarried, not having children, not enjoying life because they had to make it to the top in the corporate ladder. Jack says that he stumbled for an answer and so Maxine a top-notch most sought after Australian News broadcaster decided that she would answer that.

Her answer which caused an eerie silence when something like this. “For women the problem is their biology. They cannot keep up with the pace of a full fledged corporate life and family life. They have to take a decision. I did want to have kids. But I took a decision that I needed to pursue my career at an early age when the time was right and I did it. I still want to have kids, but then my career is important to me. A woman's career has to do with the decision that she takes. You cannot have it both ways.”

Some of you may disagree with her, but I appreciate her candor. She looked at the ugly truth and faced it head-on, her way. But what cannot be denied is that she lost her feminity, the quintessence of feminity, the honor of motherhood.

It is better for such women not to have kids at all for it is injustice to beget a kid and deny it the love of a mother. A kid that is denied the love of its mother will never be able to comprehend true love. Without the comprehension of true love life is a meaningless tale full of noise and fury signifying nothing.

My mother was a career woman, but I know the sacrifices that my mother did to make time to love me and my sister the reason why I am able to cherish and love life in spite of all the toil and fruitlessness that entails life is because of the experience of love that my mother cherished in me and thereby helped me cherish in life. Its all about love. 'Amor vincit omnia' - Love conquers all. Love conquers the wish to be at the top.

In that respect I admire Sudha Moorthy the wife of Narayan Moorthy. She was 'extermely' intelligent, 'highly' talented woman who always achieved substantially higher than what an above average man could achieve. Before her marriage, she was in the corporate world of the Tatas. She was a great achiever in a male dominated engineering field and she had access to the top brass at such a young age. She was a budding star.

She married Moorthy and decided to keep home and hearth. She took care of children while Narayan Moorthy was creating a revolution in lives of millions of people. After her children were grown enough, she sat in Infosys board. She now manages the charitable trusts that Narayan Moorthy had created, but all of it was after her children were on their own feet. She indeed is the luckiest of women I would say because she took the right decision. She had the joy of raising children, the thrill of sitting in boardrooms, the contentment in being a beneficiary in lives of thousands.

God gave man a curse that he would toil to feed his family and woman a curse that she would feel the pain of nurturing her family. I was thinking of all this yesterday and then I wondered if the curse that God gave to man and woman post fall was actually a real curse or a guideline to get through this fallen world disguised as a curse.

Ps: What I have written here may be slightly skewed, perhaps there is a woman somewhere who has been able to make it to the top in the corporate world and spend time with her family as well.

And there is a whole other side to this which is the question as to why men shouldn’t give up their corporate dreams and keep home and hearth while allowing the women folks to dominate the board rooms. But that is topic for another essay.

I am to be dead

The anthem that the choir sang on Sunday was so meaningful. I cannot forget the second stansa of the anthem. The words went something like this I may not be quoting it verbatim

Grow not in affections for the things of the world...
For you are already dead... and it is Christ living in you.

It was a blessed word at the right time. It was exactly what I was looking for to reslove a highly existential confusion I was going through. We all need is to die, for without death there can be no true love for God or man. It is simply not possible. But this unforunately runs contrary to our basic instinct which is self preservation and not self denial.

We can never be true Christians unless we are truly dead. In the movie 'Gladiator' Maximus Desmus Meridius (Russell Crowe) motivates his warriors just before battle 'Remember, what you are about to do will echo in eternity... fear not for you are an Almesian and you are already dead'. He wants his warriors to die an imaginary death so that they could be brave enough and allow the warm wet blood red metal of a soward to be thrust into their breast for the love of their country and fellow man.

Our Lord too talks of dieing but not this kind of physical death but the real metaphysical death of the true metaphysical self, the ego. Without the metaphysical death there can be no metaphysical rebirth, there can be no salvation. The kind of death that Christ talks of is harder than the kind of death the Maximus talks of, but that is the price for fllowing God and what we do will truly echo in eternity.

When our lives is so full of dreams, fury and passions, it is so difficult to imagine a death of self. But that is what Christ wants from us death to our selves, death to our dreams and our passions of life. After this death or this abandoment of our dreams and passions, there is a new creation a renewed self that isn't devoid of dreams and passion but has its dreams and passions renewed in Him who hung of the Cross to help find our renewed selves easily. So that we would live our lives to all its fullness by first dieing to self. He who looses his life shall gain it is the Truth of life.

Selective Proactiveness

Proactiveness is a word that has become so popular in all organizations especially when it comes in the context of delivering results and career growth. We all want to be proactive about our careers, even before we leave a job we get ourselves good jobs elsewhere. Even before we complete our degrees we are already booked for a seat in a US university.

On Wednesday last week, I was riding down the Kotturpuram road at about 12:30 am after meeting some of my collge friends. There was a guy who wanted a lift I offered inspite of remember the warning my PM used to give saying never offer lifts after 10:00 pm.

The guy behind me was from some village near Salem. He was a poor guy but was so sincere. He had come to the High court in Chennai lost all his money there. He said that he did not have a penny on him and that he had to go to Salem. He was saying that people had told him that Chennai was a dangerous place and that he should try sleeping on the platforms here, so he wanted to go to Tambaram and sleep there. I dropped him near Ashok pillar to board some bus going out of chennai.

I was expecting him to ask some money from me, but I guess he was too dignified to ask for money, I waited for a moment when he did not make a case, I just kept moving. But then on my way conscience started to gnaw at me, was I being proactive, hell no. I was just being reactive, I wanted him to ask so that I would give. I did not try to be proactive and ask probe into his problems and help him there.

When we get a project in our company we ask a hundred questions, we become proactive rather than being reactive, but when it comes to charity and helping other we tend to be reactive rather than proactive. I cursed myslef for my selective proactiveness.

I couldn't accept my duplicity, I just couldn't drive on. Half way through I turned back to help out that guy. He wasn't where I had dropped him, I drove on and found him walking. I stopped him and he was shocked. I why he was walking he said he had no money, I gave him money to cover his immediate expenses. Before accepting it he told me that he had no idea how he would return it to me. I told him that I wasn't giving it to him, I was giving it to God.

He asked me why I was doing so much and I told him that in the Bible Christ wanted his followers to go two miles when asked to go one. Then he told me that he too believed in the Bible. He was telling me how people who were supposed to be followers of God were concieted and mean minded. I told him that he had to look at the Bible and God alone, not people. He concured, he had a New Testment with him. He appeared to be a fresh beliver who was being guided by some catholics.

After a little bit of chit chat about God, I said good bye and left happy that that Holy Ghost helped me make the right decision. It was the Holy Ghost who impelled me to turn my bike when I was dead tired and wanted to go home and sleep. May all glory be to God.

Careerism the curse of this age

This saturday, I left office early at 7:00 pm as I was compeltely drained. I went out shopping when there wasn't any need to I spent about 1.2k in about an hour thanks to my credit card. As i was riding back home I realized that I had bought stuff which I simply didn't need.

It was so irratinoal and I wanted to know why I had done that. I was analysing the sequence of events and thoughts, I did not want to go home early as I wasn't is a mood to read books and sitting at my room without books with none to talk to on a weekend can be nerve racking. I wanted to go out and do something, the easiest thing to do is of course shopping.

This got me thinking about life or this rat race that we run in our corporate world. I realized that my problem was I did not want to go to an empty house I wanted to talk to someone on the weekend and I did not have my family with me. Producerism was the phenomena during the medival times industrial revolution, consumerism was the phenomena until now and now there is this complecation of careerism as well.

We leave our loved ones behind and go in search of our career and pursue it with great passion all over the world. Why because we want to achieve something in life? Perhaps so, but not quite. Do we pursue our career because we want money? Perhaps so but not quite. Do we persue our career because its an issue of prestige in society? Perhaps so, but no quite.

I think we pursue our career because we want our families to be happy. We want our loved ones to take joy in our accomplishments, we want our them to enjoy our money, we want to give them a sense of significance in the society. To get ourselves into good careers we go to colleges far away from our homes, we go to places far off to work and thereby estrange ourselves from our families. And then we slog, ask God for help and slog to get our careers right. We have no time for our family, we have no time for our friends all time we have is for our career improvement and at the end of the day all we have is money which we end up spending in shopping or eating in restraunts or movie theaters. So at the end of the day we dont have money either ;)

When all is done, all one realizes is that the goal of our career which is to love and support our family is not just unmet, but our career mitigates us from being loving towards our family. Our parents have spent so much of their energies growing us and in return we dont have time for them because we need to pursue our career. Its so bad.

Actually we are setting very bad role models to the next generation. They'll leave their parents much sooner. But that is how life goes.We need to learn to maintain the work-family balance. If we dont do that now, posterity will blame us just like we blame our ancestors for the evil of castism.

Some corporate big gun said this 'if you want to make the best investment go home early and throw ball to your son'. There is so much truth in this, but unfortunately we are so mistaken in our priorities that we build houses for our sons and daughter and earn wealth for them but have no time to play with them.

As we grow older we need to priorite work in such a way that we dont jeapordize our family life for the sake of career improvment. Most often we indiscriminately follow our passion which we envision as our career and forsake our family. There appears to be no middle ground, there is an either or. I am writing this mail at 10:30 in office during my weekend holiday (Sundays and Mondays are my weekend holidays).

As far as I know, I see only one solution to this debacle.

Dont follow your passion in life or career. Follow God's will alone. Your passion and God's will may or may not conincide, but God's will should have primacy. God's 'revealed' generic will in everyones life is to honour our parents and love our family.

As we go about living our rat race lets remember to get priorities right. God first, family next, career/passion after that, ambition should have no role at all. Ambition is the root of all evil.

When exactly does reality become obsolete?

Below what transpired between me and a friend in Orkut. I just wanted to document is somewhere my blog came in handy :)


I think reality by its very nature ought to be absolute. Reality is the Truth. If reality isn't the Truth, it cannot be reality anymore. Truth is absolute, it does not need rational justification. Truth is. Reality is. Always is :)

I believe that rational percpetion of reality can be a myth as you rightly pointed out, if there is no revelation. Lets just assume a case wherein Truth has made an effort to reveal itself to man. If this revelation is assumed to be correct, then it can be assumed that ones perception of reality need not be myth but the Truth.

And I believe that the revelation of Truth by Truth itself is the Bible. :) So if I were to use your analogy of life painted on some canvas and when I have the 'option' (God given freewill) to choose the canvas, I guess the safest option to me would be the word of God. I wouldn't place my bet on the ability of my rational perception to somehow transmogrify into reality ;)

The 'balance of reality VS perception' idea is good. How can one be sure that one has got the balance right?
Ans: sense of satisfaction in our daily works

Well so everything, the discernment of whether our balance is right or not, boils down to 'a sense of satisfaction and an ease of mind at the end of it all'. This just takes the question to another level, how would you know that that is all that is to life and that the 'degree' of sense of satisfaction which you feel enough is and that there aren't higher degrees of satisfaction and peace?

You know the story of a eagle hatched in a chicken nest right? There was an 'expressed' satisfaction but still there was somewhere deep within its heart a 'repressed' (Freud... ;) yearning as to why there couldn't be more to life.

Another thing about this satisfaction index or for that matter happiness index to judge if life is going in the right direction is that it makes life livable on a day to day basis but it does not answer the bigger quesions of life. like, What is life? Why live? Is there an ulterior purpose? Why be ethical?

If I am satisfied and happy robbing people, having the sadistic pleasure of infliction pain on people, why should I not continue with my life satisfied and happy as I am. What creates in me an obligation to others? For our day to day activities the answer to these importnat questions don't seem mandatory but there are times when these questions would gnaw at our hearts. At those times if we look UP seeking for an answer He'll give us one. :)

Life skills is good. But when one does not even know what life is all about, how can one be sure that one has got all life skills correct?

When you had to get skilled in Mainframes, someone at CTS came over and taught you that so that you'll get skilled right. A JAVA guy wouldn't be able to get you skilled in mainframes.

Now who tranied this trainer of Mainframes? Who trained his trainer you keep going back you'll reach a dead end with IBM. Obviously, because IBM invented the Mainframes (the Big Iron). If we have a doubt with Mainframes the first thing we do it refer to IBM online manual. This gives us a gurantee that we'll get our skillset right.

Likewise in life which is a lot more complex than Mainframes, if we need the surity that we have got our life skills right who else can we turn to other than the creator of life?Skill sets got from anywhere else wouldn't gurantee that it would be fool proof. If God is to life what IBM is to mainframes, then Bible is to living what IBM's mainframe manual is to application development.

Chruch pub deleted scraps

Below is what I scrapped in one of my friend's scrap book when we were discussing about church pubs. She scraped me telling that she didn't want me scraping all my thinking and saying in her scrapbook. I never like deleting off what I scrap, because scraps like these are like works of art, or rahter works of thought so I did not want to delete it off completely hence i put an entry in my blog and deleted it off her scrapbook.

I dont agree with the historical basis given for this chruch pub being the 'early chruch', it is gross misintrepretation of what actually happended in the early chruch. I wish the writer had done some research and had had some sanity before coming out with some irrelevant comparisons. The justification for pub cannot come from the model of early chruch.

I wish he had used someother justification rather than the early chruch because the early chruch was completly different. It was about matrydom, love, non-conformity. To my knowledge which is not much I agree, they were selfless people who did not conform to the norms who met in solemn services and prayed. Now, this is the point their acts of love was at homes, each of their homes were places where destitue could come and get as much help and love.

I am for this idea of chruch pub, provided it is undertaken with great caution. But it absurd to try to compare this with the early chruch or as the writer in the website says to consider this as a step towards the reincarnation of the original chruch. Its absolutely ridiculous, it appears to me that the guy has written that just to make the whole thing sound special. This is my subjective take.

My argument for chruch pub will have nothing to do with early church, it would have to do with the body of Christ. Differnet parts have different roles.

Chruch has to cater to the needs around it. If a chruch is in a slum it has to have a social program attached with it, if the chruch is near a college it has to have an entertainment center, if it is in a hippee area it has to have a pub. All chruches must have a counselling center.
Different kinds of chruches reach out to different kinds of people depending on the environment it is in. Period.

The early chruch had its own challenges and it did well. Why? Not because it had a big stragegy, but becaue it had people who were willing to put themselves in the line of fire.

A good pastor's role I believe is to encourage people to put themselves in the line of fire for God's sake.