The Mystic Beauty of Traditional Worship

As we live in a world where increasing number of people, especially the younger ones, think that the traditional way of worshiping the Lord with hymns, pipe organs, mandolins and harps is inferior to the lively free form of contemporary worship that the more contemporary songs with keyboards, bass guitars and electronic drum pads bring, we need to take a second look at traditions and ascertain if we are missing an important facet of worship by relegating the timeless traditional form of worship as too archaic for the post modern man.

This Christmas, I attended St. John’s Divine Church because I wanted to experience the mystic awe in the traditional form of worship.

Unifying the spirits
The service started with a concert and then choir came in a procession with the incense being spewed out in front filling the Church with the kind of misty aura symbolic of the presence of God that filled the Church of Solomon in the form of a cloud (1 Kings 8:10-13). This unified the spirits of the congregation into humility and a reverent awe of God. It was a symbolic act that set the mood right for a heavenly worship that was to follow.

A celebration of traditions as a mystic act of worship
When the singing started, the presence of God could be felt. I think the reason was the people (at least most of them!) who were singing in the Choir and the congregation had just one motive in their minds which was to glorify God with the best of their abilities using the ancient traditions in which is imbibed the glory of the mystical worship of God. These great works of arts, Bach’s Fuges and the Pipe Organ, were created for the sole purpose of using the grandiose creative geniuses of human kind to glorify God. To place such creations of beauty at the feet of God is a mystic act of worship. Without God there is no beauty, without beauty there is no God. The experience of worship overwhelmed the senses with the beauty of God’s creation glorifying Him in a mystic celebration of ancient arts.

I did notice a few people raise their hands in worship. And I wondered why people assume that raising hands in an act of worship is forbidden in traditional worship services.

God the only Celebrity
What I love about traditional worship is that it is community centered worship. The choir, the congregation all worship God as one whole mass of individuals, there was no worship leader there was no lead singer there is no lead guitarist, there is no beautiful face to look up on the giant screens there is no Celebrity singer dressed in the designer wear that captures too much attention, it is just a big choir raising up their voices in unison to glorify God, the only Celebrity in the whole enterprise.

Depth of Truth in Worship
The words of the ancient Hymns have a depth of meaning because they were wrought in the throes of the pain and the struggles that the great Saints of the great old ages endured. Unlike most contemporary song-writers, their song writing was not an art or a skill or something that gave them fortune and fame, but their songs were an expression of God’s love and grace in the midst of the anguish of their hearts. The anguish they felt when they went through pain whether it be of suffering, love or pleasure, for the highest form of pleasure where beauty and love is the essence evokes a sense of pain in the mortal human heart.

Such eternal timeless truths exemplified through their writing reigns supreme in a traditional worship because of the harmony and resolution of music mystically resonates with the depth of Truth expressed. A person's heart and mind are tuned to revel in the beauty of such Truths and the music serves only to incline ones heart and mind to assimilate the Truth.

The Right Chord
Such traditions have struck the right chord between worship in Spirit and Truth. God says that we ought to worship Him in spirit and Truth. In such ancient traditions we experience the mystic beauty of God's Spirit and as we also revel in the great Truths which cause our throats to croak and sigh under the enormity of the weight of what is being sung.

As we were singing

'What Child is this...

...Why lies He in such mean estate,
Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading.'

There wasn't a tongue in the whole Church that did not sing in trepidation and awe the grandiose Truth so beautifully broughtout through the best of man’s creative genius, put at the feet of the King for His glory alone.

The Kabaali game - played by men who are still boys ;)

Below are some snaps from our project tour taken at the botanical garden at Ooty. The snaps here are about a game called 'kabaali' that we play in each of our tours. Guys here hardly seem to have any semblence to the image of the hard-thinking IT professionals on has in ones mind. Just think of these guys as men in physique but still boys at heart. :)

This is called 'Kabaali'

This is how it starts... A guy 'that lamb for the slug feast' lies down and then a guy jumps on top of him....

And then another jumps on and a tower is build.... as ppl join in... until the guy at the bottom soffocates to death ;)

And then there is some bumping to increase the pressure on those at the bottom...

...until the tower begins to collapse under its own weight.... :)

The guy at the bottom prays that the tower collapses soon ;) and when it does lets out a sigh of relief, quite literally, because until the tower stands he wouldn't be able to breathe

We being rolling down the slope under the force of the collapse...

...the rolling continues...

... for quite some distance, not to mention the slope which didn't help in stopping sooner...

This time the tower is on Senthil...

... there is collapses... much to Senthil's relief... :)

..now its Selva's turn at the bottom... he shows attitide ;)

... finally, its my turn to be at the bottom... Santhanam bemoans that no matter how high the tower would not that nothing would harm the 'jandu' (animal) ;)... guys come running eager to prove Santhanam wrong...

smiling as always... tower or no tower...

Having a few moments of solitude on the soft grassy slopes, with the book, under the shade of an old tree with the gentle breeze carrying along with it the fragrance of unadultrated nature, I could go on and on an on... I had wanted to complete the book before the tour was over. 'When God Writes Your Love Story' was was a pretty good book to read in the slopes of the Ooty botanical garden with a host of couples celeberating their love stories along side. ;)

This is my project team... none of the girls opted to come this time. Perhaps they were scared of kabaalification :) (not that they were kaballified last time but they did witness the gruesome game, last time kabaalification happened in the train from Chennai to Mysore... :)

Some of you might wonder what kind of joy one can have in a game that looks too childish and even primitive in the world of computers and virtual reality. But Kabaali is a game that has a machoistic childish kind of pleasure, its not sadistic. It can be enjoyed only by those who play it, spectators can't really enjoy this. Its a game played by guys who are supposed to be men but are still boy at heart.

Black and White Beauty :)

Black and White photos have about them a kind of mystery which leave much room for imagination, contemplation and even a kind of mythical admiration which is not possible in most of the colourful photographs which so titilate our 'material' senses.

Below are a few B/W photos I found myself snapping around during my recent tour in Ooty. With B/W photos one gets to admire a kind of meta-physical beauty in all the creation of God, unperturbed by the colourful distractions which consume our senses.

The morning Sun light splashes on the landscape a kind of misty aura.

The shrubs closer to us seem bigger than the tall trees far off in the other hill. So it is with our problems, our miniscule problems seem monstrous in comparion to the humungous ones others have. ;)

Lean tall ones interspersed with the shorter bushy ones, yet there is still a esthetic harmony. :)

Dilapated homes - Secluded habitats don't really thrive just like seculeded civilizations tend to die with time.

Looks like the great old one is having a second lease of life... Like Nicodemus???

Journeying through a long life following upon another's wake...

Is there no end to these immense landscapes that fill the horizons to the brim???

The water, the trees, the clouds and the sky all merge into a molotic reality made for the sole purpose of being 'there' to be gazed at. :)

Gazing into all the physical (and metaphysical) beauty all around...

I am not expert photographer, but I shall continue on this journey enjoying through Black and White the Beauty of God's and man's creativity which again if anything, exemplifies the creative Beauty of God.

An account of my cherised experience with Lakewood folks :)

Below is an account of my stay in Houston with you good people. How beautiful it is to be with those who love the Lord.

The Initial Alienation:

Though it was my second time here for the first week, differently looking people, differently built apartments were making me feel alien, and I went to read a book by the pool and I lay down and looked up at the sky I found the clouds 'sailing across the big blue sky' and I felt more at home, felt that though I was half the world across, it was still under the same big blue beautiful sky created by the beautiful One. I had enjoyed seeing the clouds sailing across the clear blue sky in India and it was a déjà vu. I thanked God that even though I was on the other side of the globe from my home, I was still under His dominion and all that I saw as alien were still His beautiful creation. ;)

The Bear Hug:

The first person I talked to over phone was Momo. The first person I met and dined with here was Alisha. The first person to give me that warm loving Lake Wood 'bear hug' was Eleanor.

I had kept my arrival to Houston the second time a secret from most folks. I wanted to surprise them. Most of all I wanted to surprise Steve G because he was my good pal during my first visit. I remember the expression on his face when he first saw me, it was the shock of having seen a ghost. I bet he was thinking 'Is this Emmanuel or his ghost that I see?' initially in shock he jerked back a moment and when he had come to senses in split second he jumped towards me and gave me the same Lake Wood hug. And I knew I was getting to feel at home. :)

And then I met Crystal and her husband. When I was here last time she was still single. We used to have a good time hanging at her pool parties. This time too we had good time at the parties in her loft we did have the pool as well.

At Home at Last:

A view from the gallaries of the LakeWood Church which is the largest Church in America, its a Basketball stadium turned into a Chruch

That Sunday Eleanor picked me up for Church a routine she continued almost every week throughout my stay here. And when I was at Church after having been in Houston for about 10 days but still not feeling completely at home that I distinctly felt a peace just as the music was starting. The feeling of being alien lifted off. It was then I knew I was at home at last, I was again at the feet of the same Lord I used to worship on the other side of the globe, only now I was home with all the Lakewood folks around me who Loved Him and loved me because of His love.

About Parties and Dogs:

This snap was taken on X'mas day at Andrew's house. You can see Andrew in pic attending a call

The costume party at Tracy's house was the first costume party of my life and I couldn't enjoy it more. Tracy's little dog was a timid lovely being with beautiful eyes. Speaking of dogs, Andrew's dogs Nutty and I forgot the name of the other are the more hyper active dogs I came across, they were still running around till after 5 minutes since we Rolandan, Debra and I had arrived at his house. Nutty is one of the very few dogs that can look into a one eye and hold the gaze, it of course is one of the most intelligent dogs I have come across. Unfortunately this time I couldn't meet Eleanor's extrovert dog Sheba.

Lunches & Dinners - American politics to Practice Dudes:

This pic was taken on New Year's morning at about 3:00 am at a restraunt we all went to after the New Year's Fellowship Party with the folks from Lakewood Church :)

I enjoy talking in restraints. Initially I was not able spend much time with the Lakewood folks because my work in company was all consuming. But later I was able to attend Wednesday services and other weekend get-togethers. More than once our Wednesday after service dinner were dominated by up coming American elections. I was amused listening to how each American had so many different opinions on who their guy/girl for the post would be even though there are just two parties to choose from, unlike India where national elections are contested by a plethora of parties.

On a Wednesday night after dinner at Chillis, Eleanor, John K, Chris and I stood outside and talked about what American politics really was and what American freedom really meant to the average American. We were talking till 2:00 am. I loved the insights shared from why America had to go to war to why Hillary just might make it in the upcoming elections.

Unsaid, I enjoyed going to the movie 'The Golden Compass' with Steve (golden) he is a cool guy who took a lot of ribbing from Beth and Apple when we along with Ike were having lunch after Church. After the movie I met the 'character' Timmy. My God, I dont think I have met someone like him before. He and I quickly got into a conversation of riddles in which we pulled the legs of people around us without them having a clue what we were talking about. At I-hop, Timmy and I were talking about how one could identify ones future spouse. Apple offered to help by suggesting a ‘three clicks' method, taught to her by her youth pastor, to identify future spouses and got run over by Timmy.

The dinner that I cannot forget and something which may be made immortal by the book that I am to write is the one at 59 Dinners which took place after the New Year's party at Lakewood. It was the dinner conversation which was centered the practice of having someone to practice upon for marriage, as to how to behave with ones spouse so as to avoid the possibility of a divorce after marriage. Its a premarital practice of marriage with the practice dude. This practice was proposed and Christened by Tracy as 'Practice Dude'. Eleanor, John K, Stephanie and a few others were trying to prove to Tracy as to why the practice of 'Practice Dude' was impractical, of course it was the most hilarious conversation we ever had.

A Spiritual Reformation:

During my stay there, I was going through a spiritual reformation. I was getting into a deeper relationship with Him in learning to surrender my all to Him. The books that I was reading the messages I listened to in Wednesday services and conversations I had with Lakewood folks and my own quiet time with God were creating in me a cleaner heart to serve him.

I happened to come to Houston at an important time in my career when I was to make some important decision, but because I was in Houston I could not make those decisions and I was asking God as to why He had brought me to Houston at such a crucial time. Slowly, He let me know that it was a time He was using to prepare me to be more dependent on Him alone. He was preparing me for something big, but before that I had to know that by myself I was small.

Just before I was leaving Houston, I was convicted in spirit by God that none of the decisions that I make in my life should be driven by the money factor. i.e, Whatever I do whether it be company shift or career shift or starting a company or a marrying someone it should all be because God wants me to do that and not because I can make more money by doing that. There is nothing wrong in trying to make more money but the human heart is so vile that if money making is made an important factor, it often goes away from God's ‘first-best’ in ones life. The evil impetus is about yielding to the desire to make more money than what God has given now.

An Important Meeting:

One Sunday there was a guy in front of Lakewood holding a placard saying 'False Gospel Here'. I went and spoke with that guy as I was impelled to do so, Alisha said she too would like to come with me and the two of us went.

As we were talking I found that some of his Christian doctrine was skewed, but some of his objections about Lakewood were actually valid. He said that Lakewood gospel was based on prosperity doctrine, I don’t agree with him entirely but I agree that there is a bent towards prosperity in the messages of preachers who are invited to talk in Lakewood.

Riches is not a blessing, often mishandled riches has been a curse. Paul says money is the root of all evil. Christ was born poor, blessed are the poor said Christ. Rich can't go to heaven said Christ as easily as a camel could go through the eye of a needle. Self-denial is the way to Christ. Christ-likeness is the goal of Christianity. Not to have much money is more blessed than to have excess money. But this he felt was seldom preached in Lakewood.

A ministry of hope in a hopeless world is important but too much hope without being convicted in spirit is the first level of Christianity. Christian life is about progressing into deeper level of Christianity by self-denial and self-giving sacrifice. People need hope, but the deeper needs of people is not just to be pampered by hope through motivating ‘think positive’ speeches, but to live a life of self-denial and Christ-likeness for Christ unequivocally says 'unless you deny your self, carry your cross and follow me you cannot be my disciple (neither will He ‘know’ us when the sheep and goat are separated)’.

No Church is perfect, every church has some deficiency Lakewood is not exempt. We as good Lakewooders need to pray that Lakewood would progress from the first level of pampered Christianity to a deeper level of self denying, flesh defying Christianity.

All About Love:

This was a party at Valerie's house... one of those moments when the love becomes so overwhelming that it just can't be contained...

The one reality which made me feel at home with the Lakewood folks is the Christian love with which I was embraced every time I was with all of you.

In spite of all evil and apathy we observe around us, the one true reality that makes life livable is the love which we show each other. Lakewood for one thing never lacks in the Love that adorns itself with an aura which embraces and draws to itself even the sickest of hearts.

We live in a world where knowledge is power. The more knowledge one has the more power one wields. People go to school, attend crash courses to acquire knowledge and skills to survive this life.

But there is only one knowledge that is absolute and will always save you it is the knowledge that the One who spoke the universe into being hung up on the tree as an unresisting lamb.

1Co 2:2 For I resolved to ‘know’ nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.

1Co 2:3 I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.

Even if you loose your all in your life, even if there is nothing to look forward to in life, if there is a knowledge of some thing that would save you it is the knowledge that Christ was crucified for you, there is nothing more you need if only you 'really' knew this.

It is the love that He showed on the cross that is imbibed into each of us which adorns us with the beauty of the Spirit and makes us an embodiment of 'true' blessing to thousands around us.

Farewell:

I was taken by surprise when Eleanor said that I had to give my farewell speech at the Tiki Island New Year eve party. I did not expect is so soon. It seemed that I had just landed in Houston and was still getting to knowing people but alas it was time for me to go.

World is a small place, we live in a global village someday we shall all meet again. Even if we don’t we shall meet again on the other shore and spend an eternity together. We shall hug each other with the same Lakewood hugs. We shall have lunches, dinners, costume parties and we shall still be talking about 'practice dudes'. Until then… Farewell!!!

This was the farewell pic that they all took with me as it was my last Sunday with them. They are indeed most loving folks that can be seen that the beautiful land of America :)

A 'Blessed' Christmas...

For once did Divinity take upon Himself to be human
At the home of the poorest and oppressed in earth
For if Divinity hadn't the 'heart' to experience poverty and oppression
Divinity couldn't be Divinity at all.

Divinity would have lost the chance
A chance for humans understand the embodiment of Love He is.

Reckon, that Christmas is a call to parttake of Divinity
Blessed are the Poor and the marginilized
Its a Call to embrace the league of the 'truly' Blessed
And be 'truly' Blessed.

Happy Holidays???

I am facing the predicament of spending this Christmas in the US away from family. Here in the US, I stiwtch on the TV it blares 'Happy Holidays', the ad hoardings and bill boards follow suite and the magazines aint any different either.

Having to face the predicament of sitting all alone (away from family) on Christmas day with only books for my only company is not as depressing as getting greeting cards being wished 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Happy Christmas' by Christian colleagues here in US.

Wait a moment. This is supposed to be Christmas right. I was told Christmas season was BIG in America. But alas it aint any more. Its just 'Happy Holidays'.

In the US to wish 'Happy Christmas' has beomce 'politically incorrect'. It is considered a vestige from the dark ages which only the archaic haven't still be able to do away with.

What is depressing about that is not just that only when people wish me 'Happy Holidays' with greeting cards and sweets that I realize that it is only I who hasn't any holidays during this season, or that the whole aura and joy of transcendence is missing as it has already been missing for many decades now, but that I realize now that the last links that Christmas has had as being the day of grateful rememberance of Divinity invading of human shpere has been severed.

The next generation to be born here wouldn't even have a chance to go to Chruch at least on the Christmas day. When it is all just happy holidays, why bother going to Church. They wouldn't have much of a chance even to reflect at least once in a year, that a supposed Christ, a supposed God had been born in human flesh.

I dont even agree with wishing 'Merry Christmas' as though Christmas is all about epicurian merry making, I would prefer 'Joyful Christmas' or better still 'Blessed Christmas'. But now i wish at least it stayed as 'Merry Christmas'.

The hard Truth seems to be that much of what is done in the name of Christmas in the US is at best depressing and at worst next step towards decadance.

Beautiful Bella :)

A couple of weeks ago most of us, Lake Wood folks, watched the movie Bella. It was a movie I loved to the bits. There were times when my eyes were almost getting wet.

Simply put, Bella is about ‘beauty’ and ‘people’.

In the beginning of the movie, the seemingly incongruous scene of a blind man selling some simple artwork making a ‘deal’ with Nina, actually, sets theme of the whole movie that life is not about money, about 'beauty' and 'people'.

He asks her if she would buy a piece of art from him, but she says she has no money. He makes a deal with her, he asks her to describe the beauty she sees around her and she having just been fired from her job and also realizing that she was pregnant, goes on to describe the what she sees. Her plain description of the quotidian things of life, translated into a vision of  'beauty' in the mind of  the blind man. All the blind man wanted was to experience ‘beauty’ and ‘people’ to talk to.

Even Manny, the dark handsome brother, the guy who fired Nina, when all is said and done, at the end of the day needs the loving embrace of his brother, Jose, in spite of having fired Jose himself earlier in the day. His hot-headedness not withstanding, he takes the first step to reconciliation by buying a new frying pan for his brother. As the Bible says, reconcile anger before sun goes down, and it shall go fine.

Our hero, Jose, the hot and handsome soccer star turned child slayer turned convict turned chief chef turned the Bella about-to-be-aborted child's Savior is a ‘beauty’ (metaphysical). Even though he unwittingly ran over a child killing her, he feels mortally guilty of inexorably depriving a mother of everything she had in her life.

Even when he flushes out the lettuce in his Chef's kitchen, his guilt causes him to see in it the pattern of the beautiful butterfly the child played with before she was run over by his car. That haunts him and keeps alive in him the need for redemption. He needed to be someone's Savior and here comes Nina wanting to abort her kid.

Nina on the other hand is a person who never had a chance to live. Loosing her father at 12 and having to support her mentally deranged mother all through her teens alienated her from experiencing beauty in her life. And her loosing her job and discovering that very morning that she was also pregnant as well did not help it any further. From past experience, her premonition is that if she would have her kid that would alienate her from any possibility of experience the something good in life. What she needs is a savior, someone who’ll take her burden and allow her chance to be independent at least for once in her life.

Jose’s dad is a simple character who is all about ‘beauty’ of life. Whether it is planting trees or making beautiful lanterns to be taken to the beach or dancing around with his wife or playing football. To him life is all about making it all beautiful for everyone to enjoy life.

Jose’s mom is wise woman who is all about ‘people’. Though she does not approve Jose of having let down his brother Manny for the sake of Nina, she speaks kindly to her and makes her welcome. Being sensitive to Nina’s apprehensions about Manny she even lets her in about the truth that Manny was their foster child. The scene in which Jose hugs his mom and cries for what has become of his life, is touching. Jose knew that he was close to getting his redemption and had to let out the tears he had held within him all these years. 'Cry my boy, cry it all out' says she and holds his head in with her comforting arms.

As the movie progresses, one keeps wondering who Bella is. Jose agrees to be Nina's Savior, he urges her ot have the child and 'commits' to grow her child. And the name of this child is Bella. And thus the movie is called 'Bella'.

The heart of the movie is Jose who when he was about the reach the pinnacle of glory and riches came to experience a heart wrenching reversal of fortunes. He did not blame fate but persevered to make the best of his life though it meant that he had to work as a chef to support his brother. Eventually he got to be the savior who would make life ‘beautiful’ to the beautiful Bella.

All pain and drudgery Jose had to undergo makes ‘beautiful’ sense because of the beautiful Bella. Someone told me that it was a romantic movie. But this beauty is something far beyond romance, it is 'redeeming' love, which is a reflection of God's love for people. After all, every man with a spine, even in his fallen state, can't help but be a reflection of the redeeming love of God.

Its all about beauty and people.

It’s a movie worth watching. I am hunting for its DVD. :)

Golden Compass - What's at stake?

This week after Chruch we guys went to movies some to 'This Christmas' some to 'August Rush' and only Steve and I found our selves at 'Golden Compass' which is the rebuttal to 'Narnia' in the Narnia uses fantasy to bring out Christian Truth where as this uses fantasy to 'undermine Christian Truth' (to quote the Trilogy's author Philip Pullman).

Book Vs Movie:

The first truth we as Christians need to understand about this is that the intent of Philip Pullman was to undermine Christianity, but the intent of the movie is to make money by not offending Christian sentiments and they have gone great length to keep anything suggesting that the movie has anything against the Church.

The book is about breaking from the holds of the Church and God from our lives, but the movie is about breaking from the body of authority that is above us telling us what to do and intervening with our free will.

The Philosophic base:

This is a complex movie/book. There are many levels of perception. I haven't read the book and there aren't any reviews about the philosophy of the movie so what I write is entirely my perception on seeing the movie.
It is about gaining freewill and that is what the struggle is for. Narnia or Lord of the Rings is also about gaining freewill. But the difference is this, that in Narnia freewill is conferred by God and the devil uses sin to prevent us from realizing it to the fullest. On the contrary, in 'Golden Compass', God restricts man's freewill using religious laws and authority and to break free from God’s authority and be sinful is to enjoy freewill, so sin becomes virtue. Sin is looked upon as something good.

In Narnia or Lord of the Rings strength, honor, love, trust are virtues. But in Golden Compass knowledge is virtue, 'knowledge about sin' does that ring a bell? Yes this is a kind of re-enactment of the fall of man in the Garden except that here the fall is looked upon as the fist step to freedom from God. The fall helped man to break away from God and gain complete freedom, but before man could fully enjoy it, the church intervened and freewill was lost. This book is about destroying the hold of the Church and gaining freedom again.

I think (my perception could be wrong), as per the setup of the fantasy world in the movie, the 'dust' which the academicians say (is the ultimate reality of the universe) permeates all universe is actually a metaphor for sin and the movie says that dust feeds into man through his deamon (soul - an animal). The church tries to deny and stop the feeding of dust through the deamon by kidnapping kids and making them immune to dust, and the freedom fighters go on war against the church because they believe that only through the feeding of dust into them through the deamon they would enjoy un-curtailed freewill.

To me, this is closer to Gnosticism (which Da Vinci Code touches upon) where sin is virtue, God is evil and the devil is the liberator who liberated man through the woman by making her wise though the fruit. Knowledge of sin is wisdom. This is how I think this atheist tries to build his case. And in Gnosticism God is feminine as Eve is supposed to be the source of wisdom, that is why it is a girl who is supposed to be the redeemer of mankind. She is the second-eve. And her plan for redemption is to eat more of the fruit and gain complete knowledge and freedom.

Problem with this Philosophy:

From the Christian world view, the problem with this (Godless) perception of freedom and freewill is that without God's leading in our lives, our (Godless) freedom becomes akin to the freedom of a boat without a rudder in the open sea. It looks like such a boat is 'free' to go all places, but in truth that freedom is entirely under the mercy of nature, so such a freedom without God is actually slavery to nature.

Man has the God given freedom to choose freedom 'under' God or freedom 'under' nature. The difference is if one chooses freedom 'under' God, one becomes God's most loved child. But instead, if one chooses to enjoy the freedom 'under' nature, one inexorably, in the long run becomes a slave to nature.

To the atheists, the concept of God is so revolting that they choose slavery to nature and embellish it as greatest freedom a two legged being can enjoy on planet earth.

Can Christians watch the movie?

The movie does not say anything overtly anti-Christian. You will not see a Church or a cross. You'll see men in black robes wearing big pendants which can never be misconstrued to resemble a cross. Their building looks more like the White House than a Church. This movie is a war against authority. It more about anarchy than about anti-Christianity. Without knowing how the second and third part comes out, we cannot truly comment how it would look at the end, but I have a feeling that the directors wouldn't want to make it anti-Christian.

Well, this is not a 'must see' movie as the Lord of the Rings is. Its not as good with fantasy. The plot is intriguing, the movie is fast paced and its dark, I mean even the heroes are dark characters who care not for love or honour or bliss of innocence. When God is taken out of the equation, darkness results, it can't be helped.

I think Christians can see this movie, but must be on the guard. If the Lord's 'leading' is to not see then obey the 'leading'. One can't go wrong excercising caution :)

Powerful Men so Miserably in Love

I call those men as powerful who have the power to twist and turn reality to suit their ends. They are men who have the ability to inspire and even manipulate people to achieve their ends. They are equally admired, envied and hated by the throng, the average men. Anyone in the throng would love to be where these men are but they just haven’t the power in them.

But God when he created the powerful men, did not want to leave the throng to feel that God was partial. So He made these men so powerful that when it came to the issue of love they were the most miserable.

The powerful men having been so used to changing reality to suit their wants and needs get baffled when it comes to love. Love is always a mystery to them, a mystery that haunts them day in a day out. Love is something they never get to understand, everything else they understand and can manipulate, but against love, they are completely powerless.

They are unable to accept their powerlessness and try to get more powerful only to realize that it does not work as they expect it to.

Having been used to forcing people their way, they presume love works that way only to realize that Love is the one thing that can never be forced. The only thing that can bring about love is the giving up of ones own self for the others sake. But the powerful man will never be able to give ones self up. No. Never. So he tries a lot of other means only to find that he fails again and again.

The movie Citizen Kane (1940), the movie that ranks the first in the American Film Institute (AFI), brings out this concept so beautifully. In the movie Charlie Kane is the Powerful man, a media conglomerate who loves the power that he welds in shaping public opinion. He makes everyone think what he wants to think. He loves it.

There is one thing he cannot do, he cannot make anyone love him. He wants everyone to love him his way, without he having to give any of his up. But he fails. He then attempts to use his power and money to buy love, but he realizes that he ends up buying pleasure seekers not lovers. Once their hedonistic needs are satisfied, they elope leaving him lonely in his powerful world.

Citizen Kane was a movie based on a real life character William Randolph Hearst I who was a media mogul living in America in the early part of 20th centaury.

When I was reading about the charismatic CEO of Oracle Corp, and the fifth richest man in America, Larry Ellison, I found some amazing parallels. Larry Ellison is a powerful man who loved to twist reality to suit his ends. He rose in fame and riches, he lead a flamboyant lifestyle.

Nevertheless his had one inexorable need, the need for love. He was married and divorced thrice. He had so many famous affairs with so many beautiful women. His houses were most beautiful and his yachts and jets were spoken off by the rich and powerful.

He concedes to an interviewer that his great need was for a strong marriage; his reason for one he says is for the need for shared experiences. He called his third wife with whom he had two kids just to tell her how lonely he felt in his big beautiful house. He wanted love but he wanted it his way. He presented his first wife with a Benz many years after their divorce, all she said was that she was glad that she got the Benz and not him.

How so miserable the love lives of such Powerful men is.

A Waste of Marriage Ceremonies

Marriage ceremonies appear to be a big waste of money. In any average Indian city one has to give 1 lac to the owner of the marriage hall. 1 lac for the dresses to the dress merchant for dresses for family and friends and another 1 lac (at least) to the caterers. I am not including the jewelry costs.

If the bride and groom and families were to decide to skip all the ceremony and donate the money to some well deserving cause, it would make a lot more sense, wouldn’t it? There are quite a lot of people who have small ceremonies, but I doubt if that is because they want to donate more money for charity. There are some people who donate quite a sum for charity as they go about spending for marriage which is a commendable act. (I am not talking about the tithing the groom’s family does so ‘magnanimously’ out of the dowry)

But I guess some where there would be people ‘strong’ enough skip the privilege of ceremonies for the sake of greater love. ‘Strong’ because this is non-conformity to the accepted customs and because it is about going against ones own natural inclinations. Anyone who gets married would want to be honored and ‘feel loved’ by the presence of so many well wishers. Such ceremonies make the memory of marriage special and cherished. If one has to deny such ‘cherished’ ceremonies for the sake of the poor and the underprivileged, it takes a lot of ‘strength’ and ‘love’.

This is just a thought, I am not trying to say that one type of marriage ceremony is better than the other. Customs and ceremonies are a part of our culture, they can’t be wrong in spite of all the prejudice imbibed in them, but to break away from them for the ‘greater good’ is commendable.

Well, yes parents do enjoy getting their children married, to deny them that may be cruel of the children. So that means the parents too should be ‘strong’ enough to stand by the ideals of their children. If parents are too rich and if they like to see their child married may be they can contribute an equal sum for charity J so that becomes an all win situation.

What I am saying is perhaps too idealistic, I don’t disagree. I can’t really say that when I get married that I would want to cut ‘all’ of the ceremony part and donate it all to charity. But may be some part of it could be eliminated.

May be instead of giving food to the ‘already fat’ Christian throng suffering from heart problems and diabetes, I could serve lunch for three days for all patients and dependents in the government hospital. Honestly, I don’t think this is idealistic or unrealistic. It is easily doable. With God all things are possible.

Some may consider such ideas to be iconoclastic as they may think that it amounts to desecrating the age old customs. No it is not, this is not about breaking away from age old customs but about being principled in what one does. It’s about allowing principles (as against accepted practices) to be the guide in every aspect of ones life.

Superman is not the ruthlessly powerful man, but the rationally principled man. Without strength none can be principled. I am sure there are people in this world who are strong enough to do it this way, but we don’t get to know them as it does not make interesting news as L.N.Mithal renting out the Lawn in Louvre Museum to have the reception for his daughter’s wedding.

In the movie, ‘Rebecca’ 1940 (the only Alfred Hitchcock movie which won an oscar for best picture and I love every time no matter how many times I watch it) the rich guy marries her in a pretty unceremonious way. Actually the way he proposes to her is classic, if you get a chance to see the movie in TCM don’t you ever miss it. Ok… lets not digress from the topic.

Strength is in ones ability to walk by principles (as set by God) even when it is against natural inclinations and accepted practices.



Option 1: Ascetic and idealistic:
Here there is no wedding ceremony everything is spent for charity. The problem with this is that this is intrinsically untenable. Let me explain, if I were to go and tell my fiance 'Honey, you know what why dont we fore go our celeberation and turn over all expenses (as an act
of love) to charity becuse there are so many people suffering in the world', her reply (looking me in the eye) would be 'yeah, darling, so many people suffering in the world need your help, so why dont you go a step further (as an act of supreme love) and become a monk and serve
them with all your heart, soul and mind'. Even the great selfless Melanie of 'Gone with the wind' may not give a different response, not even for the 'idealistic and soft' Ashely Wilkes.

The point here is that, she has a valid point.This proposition is intrinsically flawed because the kind of sacrifice demanded is that of monkhood, not family life. I did not want to put it that bluntly that is why I said she'll 'run off' and look for a 'better' guy.

Option 2: Realistic and balanced: (and cherised)
Here I suggest that one has to have the wedding ceremony but spend quite some sum on the poor and I suggested that they feed the patients and helpers in government hospitals for 3 days (if not a week). I know how much the patients there suffer, this would mean a lot to them.

This would give more cherished memories about one wedding ceremonies. And it is very easy to do, it would mean a lot of help to the helpless. In one act you would have fed the hungry and visited the sick. To do it as a part of wedding ceremony is most beautiful.

Option 2 is easily workable and it should be acceptable to the majority. If someone dares to go by option 1, I would applaud them. I would go and shake hands with them because I would know that in heave, they would be at a place much higher than I and I woudn't be able to shake hands with them then.

The Journey - a love story

'The Journey' is a beautiful 1959 movie I watched sometime back in TCM. TCM is a channel which telecasts some of the good old movies. Its simply a joy to watch TCM.

This movie stars the great Yul Brynner (Ramses in the 'Ten Commandments' ) and Deborah Kerr (Legia in the 'Quo Vadis').

If I have to surmise the movie in one line, I think it ought to be - 'Love is stronger than power'.

Yul Brynner the young, charismatic, powerful Russian captain posted in Hungary falls in love with Deborah Kerr the moment he casts his eyes on her. Debarah Kerr is helping a man her former friend, a wounded revolutionist fighter to escape from the Yul's grasp. Yul knows that.

Yul Bryner has the absolute power to crush them both, but his love for her drives him insane. His duty called for him to crush the wounded revolutionist fighter, but he knows that if he were to do so, he would loose the only opportunity he had to impress her. Consequently, he does some of the funniest things he could do to try to impress her.

He fights a battle to try to impress her. He disregards his duty, his power, his everything. Only to find at the end that he had destroyed himself by his 'falling' in love, proving again that falling in love is often futile.

What is intriguing about the movie is that the director seems to leave it to the viewer to decide whether or not she was in love with him. Perhaps she too was in her battle was fighting her love for him, trying to suppress it as best as she could.

Both of them fight a battle. He fights a battle to make her love him and she fights a battle to not love him at any cost. In the end, who wins?

I think none wins. He relegates his love to fate and I guess she does regret that he, such a powerful man had to do it.

It’s a movie that all should watch. The movie has no obscenity which is admirable for a Hollywood movie.

Acts of Love

If there is one thing that which if you understood in all its fullness, then your life would be an astounding sucess, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing that gives life a meaning that is timeless yet tangible, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing worth living for and dieing for, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing we ought'n ever loose in our lives, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing which will conquer all, its is LOVE.
If there is one thing which only fills the giver with joy, it is LOVE.
If there is one thing that make a person, a person, it is LOVE
If there is one thing which can be given which is immaterial but still tangible and most cherished, it is LOVE.

Love which satisfies all these conditions is not a feeling. It is an ACT of the will - the 'Acts of Love'.

Inherit the Wind

My client Chief Architect, Tony, a 63 year old intelligent soft-natured Texan, when I asked him the usual question I ask many people, 'What is your favorite movie?' said 'Inherit the Wind'. It’s been about a year since he said it and only a few days back I got a chance to see the movie. Actually the last part of the movie in MGM channel.

Gosh!!! It was great. It about the Creationism Vs Darwinism controversy. Actually its based on a real court case called 'Money Trail' in 1925 in Tennesse where it was prohibited by law to teach Darwinism in schools. But a teacher taught Darwinism and was pulled into court.

At the court, Darwinism does an intellectual coup during the arguments, but Creationism wins the case. And creationism though has won the case, is not vindicated by the intelligentsia as represented by the press.

The lead Creationism witness is a respected Presbyterian who had run for the presidential election thrice. After all, what could a good man who had never trained his mind to be critical or cynical of anything good in life, do in the face of such a (pseudo)intellectual challenge.

As the trail wears on and the incredulity of the Presbyterian becomes obvious, the lawyer representing Darwinism instead of reveling in the intellectual victory is, on the contrary, haunted by a loss of meaning. In spite of the humiliation and the intellectual ineptness of the Christian witness to counter his arguments, the lawyer finds in him an inexplicable zeal and passion which he himself lacked, and realizes that there is something beyond the intellectual from which the Presbyterian drew his value and meaning from.

Consequently what one would expect to be moments of exuberance about impending victory becomes moments of intense poignancy for the Lawyer. He wonders what it was that he was missing which the Presbyterian didn’t, and from which the Presbyterian could draw all his strength. The lawyer had a gnawing feeling in his heart that it wasn’t the impersonal reason, which was the Lawyer’s driving force, that the Presbyterian missed. The Presbyterian seemed to have something much more unphantomable and strong, something much better than intellect or reason.

After the whole thing is over, when the lead reporter, an inexorable atheist, declares that press would declare the Darwinian side the winner, the Darwinism lawyer looks at him and asks if he, at the end of everything, if he didn’t feel that there was something more to life than reason or intellect, and that value and meaning in life was lost without that something.

Whenever physical theories of physical sciences are extrapolated into metaphysical truths of religion and life, value and meaning are lost and the truth in the last words of the lead Darwinism lawyer exemplifies it

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind:
and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart Proverbs 11:29


This movie was made way back in 1960, back at that time Nihilism and Postmoderism weren't yet the order of the day, you'll be surprised to see how the arguments of the lead Darwinism lawyer rests on the optimism of 'renaissance reason' completely devoid of the nihilistic delusion about human reason.

As I was listening to his arguments, my mind was reeling with what Peter Kreeft, C.S.Lewis, James W. Sire had to say.

The Darwinism Lawyer makes his case that it is reason that is superior to revelation. But he some how never seems to wonder how something so beautiful as reason would exist without a maker when ‘Mona Lisa’ something much less beautiful needs One.

He also somehow seems to forget the point made by the man who was the first to hail reason was the arbiter of Truth, Des Cartes, when he said that there had to be a good God for reason to be good enough. Without a good God, there is no way one can trust reason to be good.

Withoug a good God, the snake of reason begins to eat its own tail.

CEO - Mother : Passion to create 'Home Sweet Home'

I was just reading the article on ET about Indra Nooyi. She is the fifth most powerful women in the corporate arena. She is the CEO and Chairman of the 33$ billion Pepsi Co. I admire her a lot for her ‘performance for a purpose’ principle which is so much my own outlook of how a corporate ought to function. I admire her for the passion she has for her work.

But she makes a poignant remark that she was shocked when her 14 year old daughter sent her a mail to fix an appointment with her. The poor thing just couldn’t see her mother at home. I admire Nooyi for her frankness in talking publicly about the reality of her life. Such is the demands of the corporate life.

The article is a wonderful read, her catchy idea of ‘performance for a purpose’ strikes a chord. Purpose with Pepsi, is that to make people more obese??? You may wonder, just as I did when I was reading it, but she has a way of explaining herself quite convincingly out of the seeming contradiction. The article talks about her strategy and vision and how it is commendable at the end of it all one is left with for this great woman is admiration. And perhaps even a burning desire that one day you too would be at the helm of a company and see visions and build strategies.

But the last line of the article goes something like this ‘If only motherhood could be made easier by come clear cut strategy and vision’.

The article drives you with romantic ideas of vision and strategy and purpose… but ends bringing you back into touch with reality where the question comes as to which is more important to ones life career or family? More often than not, it appears to be an either or question… may be someone can find some theoretical way of explaining one self out of the either or, but none actually succeeds in life.

I just googled on Nooyi to know more about her and realized that she had replaced Reinemund who was with Pepsi for 22 years and was considered young and energetic even at 58, which for a CEO isn’t that old an age. The reason Reinemund had given for his unexpected retirement was that he wanted to spend more time with his kids.

At the end of the day it is ones kids that matter, it does not really matter whether the company grew 30% or 10% annually during ones COEship, the company simply does not give a damn. Sometime back I asked a divorcee if marriage was worth all trouble and got the reply that having kids were worth all the trouble and even more.

I read Ben Stien’s remark some years ago but still keeps popping back to my mind (heart) again and again – ‘If you want to do the best investment in the world, go home early and throw ball to your son’.

On reading such truths, one wonders what has happened of all the fire that burned in one heart when reading rhetoric like ‘performance for purpose’ or ‘strategic vision’. At the end of the day all one needs is a good home to cherish. To create that 'home sweet home' and to help others create for themselves has to be the passion of ones life.

Results & People

Over the past year, in my company I have been leading a team of developers to develop applications. Over the course of the year, I realized that there were two corner stones to being able to successfully leading a team - Results & People.

Without people there can be no results, without results there is no point having people. Though Marx would be indignant, it happens to be true that the abilities of people are calibrated by how worthy his or her results is to the corporate world he works for.

An important role of a leader is to see to it that the right balance is maintained between interests of people and the results achieved by them. There are times when one has to make a compromise between the two.

There are times when people will have to be driven even though that may have to spend 16 hrs a day in office to get results. There are times when individual need to have some time off must be given preference over results. A good manager is one who is able use his judgment to know when to compromise what.

Marx feared that man's dignity would be lost if his worth is judged by the worthiness of the results he shows. He is right in a way, but may be he has forgotten that a part of the essence of what man is lies in his creative abilities so to judge a man's worth in a the context of the corporate world by the worthiness of his creative abilities isn't unfair after all.

In fact it is only fair to demand results and judge by it so that a person who shows more result by hard work and diligence can be rewarded more than the one who is lazy and complacent.

A good manager should be able to keep his team working hard at the same time see to it that his team is enthusiastic and flowing with energy. That way, results are impeachable and people are happy, these are two of the many important corner stones in managing a team.

Primacy of Questions.

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers" - Voltire.

This is one of the best quotations I have come across of late. Questions say so much about a man, there can be no man without questions for to be a man without questions is to be no man at all.

But one shouldn’t forget that life isn’t a question, it is a quest for Truth. Life is not a ‘pursuit of happiness’ or pleasure or art or even passion. Life is a quest for Truth. Not the Truth about life but the Truth about self. The self as created by God. The Truth of self lies in the purpose for which it is created. All great men of the past have been men who were on the quest for Truth. Whether it be Socrates or St. Augustine or St. Aquinas.

Martin Luther was a courageous man who was on a quest for Truth, he was willing to put his life at risk to be on the side of Truth. What the world needs is not jesters and clowns who titillate our senses to imbecility, but courageous men who will question and be on the quest for the Truth.

As Peter Kreeft says 'Emeth' is the purpose of life. 'Emeth' is the hebrew word for the quest for Life's Truth.

Marriage - Parent's Choice Conflict

The Bible says that we should honour our parents. We need to love ourparents. I think one of the greatest honours one can give to ones parents isto give them a say in the issue of choosing our marriage partners. Yes, I amnot mincing words, we loose a little bit of our independence. But that iswhat Love is about. Love always entails loss of a little bit ofindependence. If we love God, we'll loose a little bit of indepence, if welove money we'll loose a little bit of indpendence. But to looseindependence for the former cause is better. Likewise to loose a little bitof independence to our parents in choosing our life partner is good, in thesense that they come with a wealth of experience and can be a great valueaddition in the process of choosing.

The other point is even in marriage, when I'll loose a little bit of my independence, she too will loose a little bit of hers, because we'll loveeach other. If I cannot tolerate loosing a little bit of my independence forthe cause of parental love, it would be absolute incredulity to believe theI'll tolerate loosing a little bit of my independence for spousal love.

I am not saying that ones parents should have the absolute final say. No.The final decision rests with the child. But parents will have to have a saynot from an authoritatively but as a counselor.
Infact, I think men shouldtalk to their mothers about the prospective girl they want to marry. Womenshould talk to fathers about the prospective boy they want to marry. Mothers are good in assessing girls and fathers are good in assessing boys.

If I am given a choice to choose in a fashion completely independent ofparental counsel and paying heed to parental counsel. I wouldn't think twiceto opt for the latter way of paying heed to parental counsel. Firstly,because they feel honoured and secondly because I am reducing the risk. Theyknow me all my life, it is reasonable to trust that they know what kind ofgirl would be compatible to me. At least, they'll know the kind of personthat isn't compatible with ones son or daughter.

An 'appalam' making experience..

My mom and dad insisted that I would reduce mass only if I stopped having food at hotels and tried my own cooking. So I decided to try cooking something, dont ask me what, you would drain your energy laughing. I tried to make some pappads.

I left the oil in the pan and went to see the movie 'The Good, the Bad and the Ulgy' in my computer, it had been a year since I had seen it. I forgot that the oil was getting over heated, by the time I remembered, I ran to the kitchen and found the oil smoking. I switched off the gass, but suddenly the oil in the pan caught fire.

I tried blowing it off, it did not work, i did not know what to do, on impulse I poured water and the flames blew up ceiling high (my friends told me that I was lucky the oil did not spill on me when i poured water), apparently pouring water on burning oil had been a very very bad idea.

It was still burning, flames were going higher. I had absolutely no idea what I had to do. I was standing there looking at the flames and thinking. I was thinking of what would happen if the fire went out of control and the . I live in a kind of line-house setup and there are families living all around. What would the headlines in News papers say, "Software Engineer brought houses down in fire trying to make pappads", or worse still "10 dead because Software Engineer did not know how to make pappads".

And that would become another reason why houses should not be rented out to bachelors. Oh, no I thought, I cannot allow that to happen, the fire was still burning as strong as ever. I had to get my mind back to sloving the problem rather than worrying about the implications of failure.

I stood there thiking for probably about 20 seconds on how to stop the fire. I remember studying in school that unless oxygen supply was stopped, fire cannot be stopped. I remembered that in school I was taught that if someone was on fire he must be rolled in a blanket. I thought I couldn't use blankets with oil as the blanket too may catch fire and that may make matters worse as my refrigerator was next to the burner. What if the refrigerator catches fire. The blanket idea had to be discarded as it was more foolish than the water idea.

The way to cutt off oxygen supply was to cover the pan. I thought I use a plate, but all plates I had were unbreakable plastic plates, what if they melt in the heat. That wouldn't do any good. So I was searching for a steel vessel wide enough to cover the pan. At last, I found one and placed it over the pan cutting off the oxygen supply and soon the fire subsided. I set out a sigh of relief. At least no bachelor would be denied a house because I couldn’t make pappads J.

I came back out of the kitchen much relieved and continued watching Client Eastwood, Lee Vaan Cleef and Elli Wallach trio create magic.

Beautiful Chennai :)

I was going on my late night walk yesterday. Just as I was about to finish it at about 12:30 am, a mild drizzle started. I seldom miss an opportunity to get wet in the rain so I decided to prolong the walk and started walking across the bridge near my house. There was a cool sea breeze and the rain droplets against my skin had a great sensation. As I was going around there was a sudden reckoning that Chennai was indeed beautiful, at least late nights.

Chennai, she is a great city.
She is crazy in the mornings
She is cruel in the afternoons
She slows down at twilight
And late nights, she is beautiful.

If you disagree with me, just go to marina beach and sit there and you’ll know how blessed on is to be in Chennai. White floodlit sand all around, the feel of the sea breeze against your hair, the distant sound of waves lashing, lights of ships marking the horizon, the lights of flights landing and taking off from the airport, and if you are lucky a full moon right in front of you. Go sit there with a good friend and talk of life and you wouldn’t know time passing by. But very soon the police man would come around and ask you to get the hell out of there. Those were lovely days when I used to be in Triplicane. Life moves on… J

Spineless men still in dark ages - the dowry menance

I have been wondering as to why the 21st centaury guy who sports a Nike shoe, speaks into a 20k cell phone, wears faded denim and hangs out at coffee days, in most cases, hasn't the 'spine' to say that he wouldn't make dowry demands when he looks for a bride. Or that he wouldn't tolerate anyone getting a dowry on his behalf. Why is it that though he has physically moved into the 21st centaury, he is still 'really' in the dark ages?

Some guys blame it on their parents as though every other decision about their lives they always defer to their parents. Why does he not salvage some dignity for himself by holding his ground by insisting to his parents that he wouldn't agree to a marriage where dowry was a part of the deal?

I admire the few men who have come forward to not make any dowry demands as a principle. There are quite a few men who prove that they have a spine and can stand on two legs by themselves. What the world needs most today is such men with a 'spine' who are willing to walk over blind traditions and prejudices for the sake of an admirable principle which are worth living for and dieing for.