My First Camping Experience

With the sun on my face and the wind on my chest, as I was cruising down I10 this Friday evening to on my way to Edwards Mar'Q to see the 'Avengers', I had a Deja vu. Just about the same time last week I was going down I10 for my first camping trip ever with my dear friends, the Brookesmithers, from Church (Sojourn, Houston). Cruising on I10, I was filled with nostalgia for the prior weekend and 'Avengers' didn't seem that exciting anymore. I wanted to re-live last weekend all over again. Unfortunately, time machines only work in sci-fis. On the other hand, I can blog and re-live the memories through words. So here it goes...

Even though I was excited to be going to camping. At the back of my mind, I was also having a nagging feeling that after having had a 4 to 5 hour sleep week I really needed to rest and read instead of going camping. After being in the horns of dilemma for a few days, my need to experience something new finally got the better of me. And experience something new, I did, in more ways than one!

The 4 hour journey from Houston to camp-site was filled with good conversations about books, movies and musicals. We talked about stuff from Francis Shaffer to Fiddler on the Roof. The best part was that we got talking about the Disney animation movies from 'Lion King' to 'Beauty and the Beast' to 'Tangled'. I just couldn't get Timon's song 'in the jungle...' out of my head. I kept humming it all the way to the camp. My fellow travelers were kind enough to allow my indulgence. We even planned that we'll watch 'Lion King' as a group. Long road trips are real fun. The fun part of such trips is that you get to have good long conversations, undisturbed, with nothing else to distract you except may be, snoring if someone dozes off. :P Which by the way did not happen in our car. Our snoozers were all silent and I didn't snooze, so it was all good. :)

By the time we got to the camp, it was pretty dark. I figured that if I missed this chance to sleep outside in the wide open spaces, gazing up at the stars then I wouldn't get another opportunity to do it. So I decided to sleep on a wooden table. It was the first time I slept without a roof over my head. I tried to look for the milky way it was too cloudy. I read some... then I realized that the night was too beautiful for me to let is slip-by, sleeping. I decided to take a walk at about 1:00 AM. I plugged in my favourite collection of classical music, took two left-over Jack-in-the-box apple pies and walked off into the trails. It was most awesome. It was scary and thrilling at the same time.

Every time I had walked a small distance I would wonder if it would be dangerous to go any further, what if I got lost. What if wolf of bear comes after me. I was just being too paranoid. But then the urge to explore got the better of me and I went on. I had often thought that pioneer explorers are sort of weired people. But it was that night that I understood what made the pioneer explorers tick. An explorer does not go exploring just to have a thrilling experience, rather he is being true to the call that God gave Adam - to exercise dominion over creation. As I was walking through the woods, I knew I was at the mercy of Nature, but I was telling myself that I couldn't allow it to defeat me. I had to conquer it. I couldn't allow it to exercise dominion over me. I was the Custodian there. In all my useless late-night exploring, I was feeling deep within me the tug of what makes me truly human - the (fallen) Image of God in me bringing alive within the the Custodian mandate that was given my great Ancestor Adam.

I kept walking... and finally came to a point at which I decided that I had to turn back to get some sleep in. I wanted to take a memorabilia from there... to remind myself of this experience. I looked around and found a small oddly shaped stone which I pocketed.

On my way back, I stopped at a vast clearing in the woods. It was such a beautiful sight. The moon lit the whole area, there was a sort of incandescence all around because of the bright moon light.... the fire flies in the distance, a cool gentle breeze, the rustle of the leaves, the sweet chirping sounds... I stood there for quite a bit just experiencing the timeless beauty of the place... allowing it to GET ME. I looked up at the stars and then ominous trees and then the fire flies. I realized how small I was and how BIG God was.

Paul says that atheists have no excuse, they only have to look up at the sky to know that there had to be a God. I think sometimes, Christians apply this verse only to the atheists, to the exclusion of everyone else. I think this verse applies to Christians too. For, often, Christians, though we know the fact that God is God, we forget that and act like atheists. Often, Christians are philosophical theists but existential atheists. What bridges the gap is reminding ourselves about who God is and who we are. After all, we were rebellious beings before God saved us. The reason why we are forgetful of the BIGness of God and our need to worship and submit to Him is because we are caught-up in our own little selves and petty plans, we do not look up at the sky to see what an awesome creation He has created and continues to sustain it (by holding it together by His Word). When we look up at the sky and beautiful nature, we see how BIG God is. We feel our need to worship Him. That shows us our right place in submission to Him seeking to glorify Him. It sets our hearts and minds in the right place so that we can worship Him and enjoy glorifying Him forever through the whole of our being. I think I was there for about 15 minutes standing and worshiping God for how great He is, and thanking Him for helping me see Him and know Him. That experience was so ingrained in my psyche that it has changed my regular day-to-day worship of Him.

Well, this post is getting too long... we are still in the first night of my camping experience. I suspect I'll have to do a part II.

Anyways, my experience at camping had a deeply spiritual angle to it which I did not quite expect at all. I saw 'Avengers' yesterday and I am sure I'll forget most of what I saw in a couple of weeks. But what I experienced on my first night of camping, in terms of what it taught me about God will remained ingrained in my memory forever!

The Brilliance of 'Dumb and Dumber'

Friday night, we had a guys-night with some Church friends at my buddy Matt's house. We saw the movie 'Dumb and Dumber' (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dumb_and_dumber/). I was the only one who hadn't then seen the movie. Everyone promised me that it would be one of the funniest movie I would ever have seen... When I saw Jim Carey's face, I could agree my friends were right. When the movie was over, I totally agreed that it was indeed one of the funniest movies I had ever seen. Matt challenged me to write blog on it and he wanted me to tie it back to the Gospel... The Gospel is so brilliantly all encompassing that in theory I should be able to tie it to anything... If the Gospel doesn't quite fit into the context of this post, it has no bearing on the Gospel Truth, it only reflects my mediocrity as a writer. So here it goes...

For anything to be dumb and funny, it actually has to be pretty intelligent. The brilliant journalist G.K.Chesterton said that in the Newspaper the easiest page to write for is the center-page editorial. The most difficult piece is the two line jokes on the last page. It takes a special brilliance to be able to write two-line jokes. The reason why it takes considerable intelligence to write a good joke is because the joke has to be based on an element of Truth and the joke has to render the Truth in a caricature that well contextualized for people to identify with. A good joke writer has to have more than just an understanding of Truth, it requires a firm grasp of the quirkiness of human nature within the context of a given culture.

'Dumb  and Dumber' is no different... it is based on a Truth which is that human beings, will do anything for love - even if odds in favor is just 1 in a million, 'there is still a chance' :P. 'Dumb and Dumber' renders this Truth as a caricature by twisting the context a bit... This twisting of context is what makes the movie so much fun. Here is an example of that twisting of context... Jim Carey thinks the guy banging the door is the 'gas-man' wanting money. The guy banging the door, when addressed as the gas-man, wonders how Jim Carey could have known about his 'gas-troubles' if he hadn't been following him already. So he thinks that Jim Carey is a professional killer who knows his business, which is an absolute lie. In the movie, you see how Truths, when rendered in a twisted context ends-up being absolutely funny, instead of just being a lie.

Now, let us focus a bit on the cultural contextualization part of the joke. If someone from the middle-ages would watch 'Dumb and Dumber', they may not find the premise of the movie funny at all. That is because they do not quite have our culture's idea of "I'll do anything 'crazy' for love" as in travelling to Aspern penniless and hoping to meet the beautiful girl and impressing her enough to make her fall in love. The reason being, back in the middle ages, love was sort of like food, taken for granted. They lived in joint-family setups where familial love held life together. They did not have to do anything 'crazy' to earn the right to be worthy of love. Love just was... But we, living in a fragmented society, unless we do something for love, will not be loved. The idea of "I'll do anything for love" is deeply ingrained in our society. The script writers of 'Dumb and Dumber' skilfully exploited this deep need for works-based-love our culture.

Even kids movies exploit this works-based-love. In the Disney movie, "How to Train a Dragon", the hero, a nerdy little guy is treated like a worm by the girl he desires. Siding with her hot-handsome boyfriend, she ridicules him. Then this nerdy kid has to go train a sick Dragon and do some incredible stuff with his friendly Dragon to impress this girl. He finally impresses her enough to make her fall in love him. He had to work for love. As romantic as this sounds, this works-based-love has quite paradoxically, wrecked our society - the suitor works hard to get the woman he wants, once he gets her, in and of himself, he does not see a need to work for love anymore. He stops working on his love. Soon he loses love and wonders what the heck happened to his first-love. The SpaceX Founder and CEO Elon Musk is classic example... a year after marrying his super-model girl friend, to justify divorce he said "I still love her, but I am not IN love with her anymore... everyday marriage is just too much hard work."

The Gospel gives the solution to this problem of works-based-love. The gospel is ALL about love, but one does not have to work for this love. Gospel love is the opposite of works-based-love. It is the unconditional love of an ever-loving Father. You can't do anything to earn His love. But this does not absolve the Christian's need to work, rather the gospel-love becomes the fuel for him/her to work harder to love others unconditionally as Christ loved him/her. A Christian who knows the Love of God will work hard, not because he is wants to earn something new, but because He wants to be true to His calling of being his loving Lord's Servant, Scholar and Soldier. In fact, whether it be providing clean water in Africa or rescuing trafficked-women from Malaysia, this 'love of God fueled work' done by Christians is the saving Grace of our increasingly apathetic world.

Unfortunately, when the Christian message is presented to the society it often is presented in such a twisted context that the message of love becomes branded as the 'the religion of a bunch and dumber people' by the popular opinion makers of the likes of Richard Dawkins. He has said that he wonders if Christians have lesser IQ. His rabid atheism apart, there is something to what Richard Dawkins thinks about Christianity. Without the right context, even the best presentation of the Gospel wouldn't even rise to the dignity of a joke. We live in a society where everyone is familiar with the name 'Jesus Christ', but they do not have the right Gospel context to know Him for who He is.

To make Christianity not look 'dumb and dumber' in the eyes of the world, what we need is not just right words, but right words that are put into the right context. The question is, "How is this context built?" This context-building comes when our lives become Christ-like and we become the embodiment of His unconditional love. When people we interact with do not have to work to earn our love, when we would love them as God loves us, we wouldn't look dumb and dumber when we present the Gospel to them. Our lives will look brilliant that they would look at us and wonder what kind of God we worship to be so radically loving. In fact this is precisely what Jesus says...

John 13:
34)  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35)  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

If the script writers of the same caliber that made "Dumb and Dumber" were to make movies today, it wouldn't be based on the caricature of the Truth of 'i'll do anything for love'. It would I suspect it would be based on, 'i'll do anything to not be bound by love'. If you have been following social trends you'll know that for the first time in human history there are more singles than married people (across the globe). There are more and more books written about the glories of 'going solo' as against being bound in marriage which is increasingly being looked upon as an obsolete social institution. Having lived increasingly fragmented lives for a few generations now, as a society we are losing the motivation and the ability to build truly loving relationships. This makes the Gospel, the dire need of this society. If Christians do not act, like now, our society might end up in a tail-spin of some sort.

John 4:35 Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.
Matthew 9:37
Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;
Matthew 9:38
therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Just like the brilliance of 'Dumb and Dumber' is in the context in which the truths are presented, the brilliance of the Gospel too is in the context, the context being Christ-like love. Instead of being bottled within our selfishly contextualized lives, if Christians would only look-up, we would see that the fields are ripe for harvest, waiting for God's love exemplified in the Brilliant Gospel. If the Gospel does not appear Brilliant within the context of modern day living, the problem is not with the Gospel. Society's caricatured understanding of the God's love reflects only upon the mediocrity of Christian-love. Christians without an understanding of the loving context within which the Gospel Truth needs to be rendered, make it look Dumb and Dumber.

Anti-Christ & Christ

During a discussion of movies, my good friend Luke mentioned the Director Lars Von Trier's 'Anti-Christ'. Lars Von Trier works are rightly classified as very disturbing high art psycho-dramas (there are quite a few scenes in the movie where you'll want to close your eyes). The movie's title 'Anti-Christ' would almost seem a misnomer to the layman because the movie says nothing about Christ, but in that, it says much about how despairing life without His redemption would be.

The experience for watching  'Anti-Christ' was insightful to me because I saw the movie the morning of the 'Good Friday' just before before attending the traditional 3 hour 'Good Friday Meditaions' from 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM in an Episcopal Church, St. John the Divine. Seeing this Christless movie and then attending the Good Friday service helped me experience back-to-back, the sharp contrast of two antithetical worlds, the central figure being Christ - absent in one, Savior in the another.

Anti-Christ is metaphysical presentation of how the Evil in human nature destroys a husband and a wife. The wife along with her toddler writes a thesis about the innocent women slain in the middle ages, while staying in their cabin in the woods. There she experiences the 'red in tooth and claw' nature of the woods - the animals killing one another, the acorns falling to the ground and dying... etc. She sees that nature kills itself and is Evil. Then she infers that if nature is Evil, then Human Nature is Evil too. Then she concludes that the innocent women that were subject of her thesis were Evil themselves and deserved Death. Then she begins to see her own Evil nature and selfishness. Psychically disturbed, she comes back to the city with her toddler.

Then one morning, she is aware that her toddler's life is probably in danger, but continues to enjoy the throes of orgasmic pleasure she is in. Toddler dies. This makes her deeply guilty and brings back her fears of the Evil in herself. Her husband being a therapist decides that since all this started in their cabin in the woods,  they needed to go there to figure-out a solution. There, as he delves deeper and deeper into her mind, he realizes, like her, that Nature is Evil, that Human Nature is Evil too and that he is not exempt himself. He realizes there is no solution to the problem of Evil in Human Nature. The movie ends with his killing the wife. VERY Disturbing. :(

The movie deals with two problems...
1. Nature is Evil. So Human Nature is Evil too.
2. Death is the ultimate end and the ultimate Evil of all Evils. There is no solution. In fact, at one point, the wife tells her husband that one of them will have to die and tries to kill him.

If we look across history, we find many a mother killing her child and many a husband killing his wife. In 'Anti-Christ' Lars Von Trier draws a metaphysical portrait of such extreme Evil that is often swept under the rug of the amiable society, except if the media decides to sensationalize it (as in the case of Casey Anthony). The movie ends in despair because once one comes face-to-face with Evil, one is 'lost'. One realizes that there really is no way out. There is no redemption. Once they are lost, they spiral down until they kill each other. There is none to get them out of Evil. There is no Redeemer. In other words, the movie has no Christ-figure to sacrificially love the lost sheep and bring it back into the fold of righteousness. Hence the name 'Anti-Christ'.

After this intense horror movie, I went to Church for the Good Friday meditations where there were 8 sermons in 3 hours, and some really Awesome hymns. Given the context of the movie, the topics for the 8 sermons I thought, were amazingly providential...
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Pride of Knowledge
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Envy
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Inaction
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Anger
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Lust
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Fears
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Greed
Jesus Christ Died for... Our Deceit and Pride

The sermons dealt with the same theme as the movie 'Anti-Christ' - Evil and Death. But from a very different paradigm, one in which Evil and Death are defeated by Christ's sacrificial Love. The sermons though deeply convicting of Evil, were also comforting because there was a way out, there was a solution - the Sermons pointed to the Savior Jesus Christ, who had conquered Evil and Death. To the Christian Evil is powerful, but not all powerful. It has been defeated by the Crucified Lord. The Human being no longer needs to be enslaved to Sin. Neither is Death the end of All. Christ died on the Cross and Resurrected, thus defeating Death.

The goal of Christ's Death is to justify to us and pave way for Sanctification so that we would increasingly become Christlike - sacrificial in our love. Christ says that no love is greater than that in which one is willing to lay down one's life for another. Christ commands Christians to love one another as He loved us. Christ promised that we will not be alone in this struggle against Evil/Sing. We will not have to fight a losing battle against Evil, the Holy Spirit would be our 'Helper' in our journey to become Christlike.

By the time we were in the 8th sermon, I was kind of tired and wasn't quite listening that well, but the Rector Larry Hall's last few words of the 8th sermon stuck with me, "these are the Truths we need to live for", he paused and said with a smile, "and die for". Christianity has more martyrs today than in any other time in history. As we look through History and see the throngs of the Christian martyrs who Christlike, laid down their lives to spread the message of Christian sacrificial-love. We see that Christian Love is stronger than Evil/Sin and Death. Christ is conquering the World to Himself through Christian love depicted on the Cross.

A world without the Redeemer would indeed be a world that is overwhelmed with Evil and Death. It would be the Anti-Christ - the world without Christ. If the world we live in is any better, it is because Christ is the quintessential model for a Hero Redeemer who powerfully depicts sacrificial love that overcomes Evil and Death. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Christ helps us emulate Him. We needn't fear the anti-Christ world around us. We'll win it over by being Christlike, for Christ died on the Cross, defeating Evil and He is risen, defeating Death! Happy Easter!

Love is Stronger Than Death

Disclaimer: Though I am clumsy with poetry, I felt impelled to write one about dear Chilo. Chilo is a character in 'Quo Vadis' which is one of the best books I have read. (http://www.amazon.com/Quo-Vadis-Narrative-Time-Nero/dp/B000JPG7HQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333395858&sr=1-1) . If you plan to read the book, you may not want to read the poem below... Chilo I hated so and then loved all the more... not so much because Chilo turns good, but because love is stronger than death.

At last, Old, weak and defenceless
On the tree hung dear Chilo
Whose trade was with words
Wit, his Greek weapon.

Since birth, a vile soul within a wretched  being
Forsaken, hungry and ugly
Cunning had sought life.
Vengeful had sought glory.

Venomous worm, made his way
Through the blood of the Martyred
Christians preyed upon by Caesar's Beasts
Betrayed innocent blood to claim his destiny.

A destiny of comfort, honor and glory
Beside the Caesar, depraved Augustinains alongside
Orgy unending, void of Love and Truth
In the shadow of the Cross

The smoke lifted... joyless and wretched
Beheld he the scary Cross... forgiving him.
Love and sorrow mingled flowed...
Thus was chosen the wise, wretched Greek.

Conquered by love to hang upon the tree. Tongue-less
To proclaim to the Augustinains, the Christian Truth.
Caesar or Christ? Comfort or Cross? Glory or Love?
Chilo chose Christ! Chilo chose Cross! Chilo chose Love!

Terrified Augustinians tongue-tied, blinded by Truth
The Christian Truth the Greek had finally divined...
The loving King had destroyed Death! Death is dead!
And so Christian Love is stronger than Death!

The Grey

The Grey is a movie about a bunch of burly Alaskan oil field workers who get stranded in the middle of nowhere when their plane crashes into remote Alaska. The few guys that escape alive are hunted down by a pack of wild wolves. They quickly realize that given the wild terrain, the wolves have an upper hand.  Devoid of any equipment to defend themselves with, the men regress back into their fearful selves and try to escape from the wild wolves. The wolves hunt and kill the men one by one.

No guns. No TV. Nothing with which to defend themselves from death or amuse themselves into dying, these men faces the prospect of death. Reduced back to their primal selves, they realize that the only weapon they have is their will-power and the enemy they are fighting is not the wolves, but their ability to come to terms with death. John Ottway (Liam Neeson) is the leader of this pack of hunted men.

The movie shows how the will-power of different men is fueled by different philosophies of life. Ottway and Diaz (a funny guy in the group) have opposite philosophies of dealing with pain, suffering and death. Diaz tries to deny the despair by amusing himself with something else. Ottway acknowledges his powerlessness but fights for the sake of fighting, until his last breath.

When the men talk about death, Diaz says all he needed was 'one last good-f**k', and then he'll gladly die. Diaz seeks petty-pleasures to amuse himself on the road to death. Ottway (Liam Neeson) on the other hand is a serious man. Upon the prospect of being eaten by the wild wolves, he faces it head-on fighting. He rationalizes the pain and suffering by finding his strength in a poem from his childhood. The poem becomes the linchpin upon which the movie rests.

Once more into the fray...
For one one last good fight
Live and die today
Live and die today

If a man's philosophy does not portend to anything beyond this life then 'today' is all there is to this life. Such men have to either be like Diaz and find some semblance of meaning in a good-f**k or be like Ottway and find meaning in a good-fight. To Ottway, the fight to live and die 'today' is all there is to life. Ernest Hemingway had a similar philosophy to life. He loved wars, he loved the matadors fighting bulls, he believed people who did not go to wars lived only half-lives. He did not derive a sadistic pleasure from violence, on the contrary, he drew his meaning from the brutal fight for life and death. He viewed man as bravely, but helplessly fighting a hopeless fight against life. If this world is all there is, then what is more noble than to stand up and fight even if one will finally be defeated?

When one espouses such a 'this-worldly' philosophy of life, all one has is 'today' and two existential problems arise.
1. There is no reason why one shouldn't commit suicide. What is the point being strong in a hopeless fight. Why not just kill yourself and be done with it? (In fact, Ernest Hemingway took his philosophy to its logical end by taking his own life.)
2. The impermanence of love and relationships becomes a source of great angst.

Liam Neeson struggles with both these problems in the movie. In the very first scene of the movie, Liam Neeson tries to blow his head-off with his rifle. On and off, he has reveries of sweet memories of his dead wife. He is haunted by impermanence of loving relationship... The sweet memories of love fills his empty real life with a gut wrenching angst he cannot explain or bear. He writes letters to his dead wife in a hopeless attempt to cling to some sense of permanence of love.

On being chased by the wolves, every time someone dies, Liam collects their wallet with the photo of a loved one. All his comrades are dead and he is a lonely man, still being hunted by the wolves. Then from the depth of his grieving heart, he cries out to the God he does not believe in. He asks God to show Himself in 'some real way' in a life that seems so unreal and pointless. Silence, anger and despondency...

He lifts himself up, lonely and hopeless. Looks at all the precious photos of his comrades with their loves ones wives, kids... Cries profusely and buries them along with the letter to his dead wife. He turns back to realize that he is cornered by a pack of wolves and then one last time with a gritty demeanour, clenched fists and ferocious eyes he quotes his poem

Once more into the fray...
For one one last good fight
Live and die today
Live and die today

And gets ready for battle.... Silence... Nothingness... the movie ends and everyone in the theatre was too dazed even to get up. The helplessness depicted is deeply disturbing as one will realize its truth when one looks life in the eye.

Ottway's poetic platitude is partly right in that life is a fight. Often St. Paul uses the idea of a 'good fight'. Where Ottway's poetic platitude runs into a huge problem is that it makes the fight as an end in itself, with no ulterior purpose, meaning or dignity whatsoever.

In contrast, the Christian worldview is based on the revelation of the Truth of everlasting life secured for us by Christ. Christians are called to suffer. But Christian suffering is not a dead end, just like Christ's suffering was not a dead-end. Christ died for us and resurrected into Eternal life in which He has prepared some unimaginably good things for us.

I Cor 2:9
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
    nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him”—

This hope of Eternal life is the fuel for our present 'good fight'. Besides, we are not alone in our fight. We have a Helper who will help us through the fight. Christian fight looks back to the crucified and resurrected Lord and forward to the Hope of Eternal life. Without this under-girding, suffering in life becomes a hopeless and meaningless source of angst. And so in order to rationalize suffering and deal with life's harsh realities, men like Diaz will look for meaning and diversion in a 'good f**k' and men like Ottway will look for meaning and dignity in a 'good fight'. Whichever option man chooses, he is at the end of the day but wolf-meat.

The Grey is a movie that gives you a better appreciation for what Christ did on the cross than most expositions of the Gospel you'll hear. It does so not by explaining the Gospel, but by showing how void and angst-filled a life would be without the Gospel. After all, no brilliant baking can engender an appreciation for bread as hunger can.

Gospel driven Christian fight and suffering has dignity in that Christ suffered/suffers alongside us. Our fight has purpose in that we have a greater Hope/Mission. Our fight is not lonely in that it fosters a loving Relationship with the Holy Spirit. After all, but for the Resurrected Lord, we would all be wolf-meat just like the men in 'The Grey'.

Tenderness Trumps Beauty!

The weekend before last, after the Superbowl loss Tom Brady the quarterback of the losing Patriots was disappointed. To be a quarterback and lose a game is like being the surgeon who loses a patient in the operation. Of course there would be the nurses, the anesthetist etc... who are responsible for success, but when it is a failure the responsibility in most cases, falls squarely on the shoulders of the surgeon. Such is the weight the quarterback feels when his team loses. If my analogy doesn't quite fit football, blame it on my lack of understanding of the game. I don't follow sports much. The reason I watched the Superbowl was to just experience the community part of watching the Superbowl.

There was something after the game that perked my interest. The camera focused on Tom Brady's despondent face ans someone said, "Well, he has lost his game, but he is going home to a supermodel wife". Then I was watching some news and there too the anchor made the same comment.

Honestly, I was a little bit pissed off with the characterization. Is that supposed to mean that guys who do not have supermodels wives can't help but be sadder? Or does it mean having a supermodel wife is so great that even if you are total wimp, your faltering ego will find its footing on the beauty of the wife you possess?

Just to make clear, I am not belittling what Tom and his beautiful wife share. I belittle how people perceive and present it to others thus reinforcing a wrong value in marital intimacy. The moment of intimacy that Tom and his wife share is precious, and what makes is precious is not Gisele's beauty but her tenderness and caring nature.

Unfortunately, our culture places a lot of premium on beauty. Both men and women do it, though slightly differently. Men generally want hot wives, that is all they mostly ask for. Women generally just want good husbands who are also, btw, hot and handsome!

The importance of tenderness over beauty is best said in the words of Max De Winter in the movie 'Rebecca'. Max De Winter says, "I was told that what a man needed in a woman was beauty, brains and breeding. But now I realize that is wrong. What a man needs in a woman is sincerity, modesty and the ability to love".

Tenderness triumphs beauty anytime... anyday!

The Nikki Minaj Phenomenon

I enjoy music. But I do not consider myself sophisticated enough to critique it. Yesterday I saw a performance of Nikki Minaj's at the Emmys. Nikki walked on the red carpet dressed as red riding hood with a dude dressed as the Pope and then performed what seemed like a confused parody on the Church. The sole motive of the whole deal seemed to be nothing other than being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. This has now inspired me to try to critique music and so I'll try to bite something I probably can't quite chew.

I respect Nikki Minaj's achievement in making it to the top. It requires a lot of talent and hard work. She is as old as I, yet her achievement is many thousands times greater than anything I have ever done in my life. But I don't think her music, as I saw in the Grammys, is good music and I think it worth the time pondering why.

I think there are two kinds of music, the ones that bring a tear to the eye and the ones that add a rhythm to the stride. Listening to the Adagio in G minor or some Pink Floyd stuff can move one to tears. On the other hand, the Hungarian Dance or the Black Eye Pea can add a rhythm to one's stride. There is one thing both of them exploit, that is that God has created an intelligent universe in which any sound that adheres to musical norms/laws resonates deeply within human beings. Such music evokes the deepest emotions brining about a psychological contentment. Whether it is Beethovens' 5th or LMFAO's Party Rock, both follow the musical norms that resonate with the part of us that is patently human, as God created us to be.

The goal of musicians through the centuries has been to find newer expressions of the musical norms/laws that deeply resonate with us. So whether it be Beethoven or Black Eye Pea, the goal of music is to conform of the norm/law of music thereby eliciting deeply human responses.

The two apart, there is the third kind of music, where the goal is not to conform to the norms of music but to 'stand out' by non-conformance and make that the point of appeal. There is not a lot of ways this non-conformance can be achieved, because beyond a certain point, 'standing out' just gets too jarring even to the ones with the most jaded of senses. So the goal of this performer is to 'stand out' by manifesting non-conformance non-musically. The easiest way of non-musical non-conformance is through bombastic visuals - popes and priest and exorcisms and gothic cathedrals and speaking in tongues and ancient hymns... as Nikki Minaj did at the Emmys. Sometimes it can just be some 'accidental' wardrobe malfunctions, just saying...

If we look at human history, until the 20th century the goal of living was to conform to the ideal of what it meant to be human. Idealism was the highest goal sought. The question that troubled philosophers and prophets and priests and the peasants was the question of the 'highest good' and how to conform to it. Everyone endeavored to move towards the norm of what it truly meant to be human - reflecting the image of God in us. But with the advent of modernism and ultra-modernism, 'individual expression' has taken the place of the ideal. So the new goal is not to conform to the norms, but to 'stand out' in every arena, music included.

People will do anything to 'stand out' and people will admire everything that 'stands out' as long as its titillative value is high enough to appeal to the jaded sense that no longer has the patience or the nuance to enjoy the music that adheres to the norms. Nikki Minaj is not the first to ride this way of egregious individual expressionism, she will not be the last.

Nikki Minaj can 'stand out' by do everything from belittling Priests to disparaging Christianity. She is after all, the new Madonna (remember the burning cross). But there is no way she can stand up against God designed timeless norms/laws of what makes music enjoyable to the human ear. As the legendary Cecil De Miller's said before the screening of his timeless classic, 'The Ten Commandments', "man cannot break the law of God, anyone who tries will only find himself breaking against it".

Safe House, Away from the Messy World?

Word enthrall me. Safe House is a movie so full of noise, but very few words. So there wasn't much in the movie to captivate me. But hey, I would gladly pay 10 bucks to watch the gritty Denzel Washington anytime. Denzel is one of the few rugged men still left in Hollywood which is increasingly permeated by the pretty kind.

In spite of all the bombastic baloney, a few words caught my attention which is what I want to write about. Towards the end of the movie, when the safe house keeper writes a report to his superior, his superior tells him that some part of his report would be redacted. The naive novice objects, 'But that wouldn't be the Truth as you and I know it'. His seasoned superior replies, 'Sometimes, Truth is messy. We don't want a scandal. Truth will give us sleepless nights.'

The superior did not want to be troubled by the Truth. He just wanted 'personal peace'. Francis Schaeffer  in his book 'How Then Shall We Live' says that the modern man having emerged into the post-Christian era has only two goals in his life, 'affluence' and 'personal peace'. As long as he is not troubled by the plight of people around him, he'll live in his self-contained sub-urban house with a beautiful wife, pretty kids and happily amuse himself to death.

The fact of the matter is, God did not design a world where some people can live in a bubble unperturbed by the plight of the sick and the poor and the persecuted. If people were to ignore the poor and the persecuted, God intervenes and brings the smack down on the elitist culture. In fact this is what happens with Judah. During the time of Isiah, the elitists in Israel (actually Judah) did not care for the poor and the needy and God brought judgement upon them.

Isiah 1
23 They do not bring justice to the fatherless,
   and the widow's cause does not come to them.
 24 Therefore the Lord declares,
   the LORD of hosts,
   the Mighty One of Israel:
“Ah, I will get relief from my enemies
   and avenge myself on my foes.
25 I will turn my hand against you
   and will smelt away your dross as with lye
   and remove all your alloy.

God's people are not supposed to live in cozy cocoons and turn a blind eye to the messy Truth of the fallen world around us. We are to hunger and thirst for righteousness in ourselves and in the world around us. We are to deal with the messy Truth of people dying of hunger, women trafficked from around the world to be made the prey to licentious men, Christians being killed in droves where they are religious minorities, the disintegration of life among the poor pushed to the periphery to make space for our cozy cocoons.

Dealing with these messy Truths will give us sleepless nights. But that is what God wants His people to do. In fact, in Isiah 1 the Lord says that He will not accept their worship unless they take care of those oppressed among them.

15 When you spread out your hands,
   I will hide my eyes from you;
even though you make many prayers,
   I will not listen;
   your hands are full of blood.
16 Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
   remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
 17 learn to do good;
seek justice,
   correct oppression;
bring justice to the fatherless,
   plead the widow's cause.

It is interesting to note that God did not reject Israel (actually Judah) because it did not worship Him. Judah worshiped the Lord, but they did it just to placate their need for 'personal peace'. God wasn't to be fooled. Christians today can sometimes think that because we are able to have great weekly worship services that they are good Christians. Alas, we may just be turn-a-blind-eye-to-messy-Truths elitist Christians and not even know it. The Church is not to be the safe house away from the world. We are to make the world a safe house of God for the poor and oppressed who need a safe house.

Positivist Christian vs the Faithful Christian

I was reading Jim Collins book 'From Good to Great'. He coins a phrase called 'Stockdale Paradox' which I think is a great analogy to explain Christian hope. The story is about an American Colnel Stockdale who was tortured as POW in Vietnam. He was one of the very few who made it through the brutal POW life. Below is the narrative of the meeting between Jim and Stockdale.

When Jim asked Stockdale what gave him the strength to make it through, Stockdale replied...
"I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade."

When Collins asked who didn't make it out of Vietnam, Stockdale replied:
"Oh, that's easy, the optimists."

Collins was confused. He thought Stockdale's statment about not losing faith make him sound like an optimist. Collins questions him on how optimists were different from him.

Stockdale replied...
"Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."

The POWs had two types of faith. One prevailed, the other did not.
1. One faith believed that circumstances would change. When that did not happen, the faith died along with that the person too.
2. The other faith believed that no matter what the circumstance, the self was powerful enough to make it through. The self remained powerful enough to make it through.

Among Christians too we have two kinds of people. The optimists believe that life will provide for them what they want at just the right time as long as they have the positive attitude and work hard enough. They expect they'll be married when they are 25, have a beautiful suburban house when they are 27, kids when they are 30, a great executive position when they are 40, become a Church Elder when you are 45, a director when you are 50 (if not a CEO) and have grand kids by 60. For whatever reason when that does not happen, they'll begin to grumble, they'll be angry at God, go in to a bout of self-pity or even depression or worse end up in mid-life crisis induced addictions from alcohol to drugs to illicit sex.

Then there are the Stockdale believers who don't quite expect that everything in life will turn out the way they expect it to. But no matter what happens, they TRUST God would work it all out for good (Rom 8:29). The Christian believer's faith has a better foundation than Stockdale's. Where Stockdale has faith in his self, the Christian's faith is based on the finished work of Jesus Christ. The Christian does not just say he'll make it through because he has a strong will. The Christian says he'll make it through because Christ has already secured a place for the Christian in Eternity.

Stockdale then added:
"This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

This an important point we need to remember. We should not try to deny or trivialize the brutal realities of life. Instead, we should acknowledge that life is tough and that we live in a fallen world. We need to remember that NOTHING in this world can separate us from Christ.

Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

 The positivist Christian who expects external realities to turn for the good will be disappointed, because in a long enough timeline we will all die. On the other hand, the faithful Christian is more than a conqueror, not because he has a better attitude or luck or marriage or achievement or pleasure, but because even if life deals its worst cards, he has faith that he will not be separated from our Lord who has secured for us a place in Eternity by dying on the Cross for us.

Days of Heaven - A Story of a Family that Wasn't

I saw the movie 'Days of Heaven' last weekend. 'Days of Heaven' is made by the legendary of Terrence Malick, the director of the recent 'Tree of Life'. Like much of his other movies, it is a narration/thoughts of one person witnessing life.

The movie is about a few parent-less kids, a nomadic group of three and a lone guy who is a rich young farmer. The group of 3 nomads is a boy, Bill, and two girls the younger of which Linda, is the narrator. The elder girl Abby and Bill are sort of in love, but they behave as brother/sister to the outside world. During the narration little Linda says they are sort of family, but not quite.

During their nomadic journey, they work at the farm of the rich young farmer in Texas. The rich young farmer finds Abby attractive. Bill learns that rich young farmer is terminally ill and may die soon. The rich farmer wants to marry Abby. The shrewd Bill concocts a plan. If Abby would marry the rich young lonely farmer and then he dies soon, the money would all be theirs.

He cajoles Abby into marrying the rich farmer. Of course, there is a whole lot of confusion. The movie ends with gun fights and painful tears. Bill and the farmer are dead. Abby and Linda are separated. The last scene is that of Little Linda, along with another nomadic friend, walking along the railway track not quite sure where they are going. It is a sad ending.

As I sat back and wondered what was missing in the movie, I realized that the movie had no real family. There wasn't a man and woman who were fused into one body, there weren't kids taken care of by a family, everyone was restless and yearning for something real in life.

There is a poignant scene in the movie. On the night of the phony marriage, Abby is on the bed, her Groom walks in looks at her and says, "you look like an Angel". She looks troubled and says, "but I am not one". Then Abby tries to be the Angel and really falls in love with her husband. For a short while, they have a real family resulting in a brief interlude of peace and rest, which I believe is what Linda considers the few 'Days of Heaven'. But one day, the Abby's Angel goes to sleep and the devil shows up. All hell breaks loose. Little Linda observes later on, 'we are all half Angel, half Devil'.

God created the family for it to be a place of rest, peace and contentment. In as much as we do not value family life, we miss the God-given gift to rest, nest and enjoy our little 'days of heaven' on earth. The problem is, the Devil-half of us will ruin even the best of gifts that God gives us. So to be an Angel and enjoy the 'Days of Heaven' (on earth) one needs supernatural strength and thus, 'a family that prays together, stays together'.

December Facebook Status updates...

Isn't it incredible that the turn of time should be joy to so many people... Isn't there something deeply human about being able to enjoy the turn of time around the New Year? Who would you thank for this ability to enjoy the 'turn of time'??? Who would that be, if not the Creator of Time? Thanks be to God for creating Time!!! :)

‎'The Artist' is a new award winning 'silent' movie. Watching it made me wonder if we shouldn't go back to making silent movie again. In silent movies, you see more than you do with the talking version. The few important dialogues are displayed, because they are few, they carry more weight and you appreciate 'words' better.


To live, really LIVE... one has to see, really SEE which is why I think everyone should be an artist. :)


Be metaphor minded.


Well, the fact of the matter is that sometimes during chit-chat socializing I just feel bored to death. I guess most people feels this way too... I am just saying. :)


The reason why I like older movies is because they had better script. The reason why I like those scripts is because they belied a deep sense of Truth and meaning in life.


We live in a story, but the story is not about us neither are we the Author. In as much as we think the story is about us and we are the Author we are trying to usurp God's prerogatives.


A symptom of Whether one is a 'New Creation' in Christ is in how one SEEs and perceives life. This change in perception happens by 'having the eyes of your hearts enlightened' (Eph 1:18) by the Word of God. So one Fruit of the New Creation is a thirst for the Word of God. You shall know them by their Fruits.

‎
'My Week With Marilyn' shows the decrepit side of love with an ironic sense of lightness.


Well, actually I don't need Christmas lights or Christmas tree to get into the 'Christmas Spirit'. Christmas songs and hanging-out with the Christmas-minded would suffice. To each his own, I guess. :)


When the fear of God dies, man tries to be god. When there is nothing else worthy of worship, man worships himself. When there is nothing else worthy of love, man loves himself. Such is the state of the man 'without the chest'.


I wish my mind had been fertile on Saturday night as it is now. It is twirling with too many ideas that I can't sleep now. Well, I guess sleep will have to give way... somethings are more precious than others. :)


The answer to the question of where our identity lays in the source of our happiness. What do you do when you really want to be happy? What is it about that which you do that makes you happy? If you lose that one thing which makes you happy, what would the loss mean to you?


Sitting on wooden benches at 'Little Burgers' with the sun on my back and cool breeze about. Little burgers to bite into, slush smoothie to sip and a good book to read. Life is good! God has put 'enough' in the quotidian to make us happy and grateful. :)


Love is an end in itself, but knowledge is the basis of love. You can't love something/someone you don't know. Knowledge is important, but it can't be an end in itself. A pursuit of knowledge untethered from love can lead to tyranny, which was what happened with Karl Marx.


When the sense of entitlement is assumed at such a basic level that it becomes a lens through which life is perceived, it jacks-life-up. This is especially true when it comes to matters of pursuit of happYness. "Do 'whatever' makes you happy" is a dictum of modern age. The truth is, without 'norms' the pursuit of happiness becomes destructive...


I was feeling really sleepy and wanted to go to bed... but then I started writing the journal... :)


All discontentment is grumbling against God.


Journey is more important than the destination only as long as you do not believe in ultimate Truth. If you believe in ultimate Truth, then destination matters.


Oh, the sound of good rain! That will be the lullaby to which I'll fall asleep! :)


Anything worthy of admiration ought to be written about.


People talking to me on facebook makes me feel good, but the realization that I am depend on it makes me feel bad. Well, may be I need to take another sabbatical? Hmmmm...


Hey... it is December, how come there isn't any good movies yet???


‎'O, Holy Night' on full volume on the Sennheiser earphones.... over and over again... goosebumps..

In Joseph's shoes errrr sandals?

I wrote this as part of my other post 'Joseph, the Unsung Hero' /emmanuelreagan/2011/12/joseph-unsung-hero.html, but then realized that this was incongruous. To just delete it off would go against my principle that words are precious, the creativity almost of first order. I decided to make a post out of it. Besides, by making this as a separate post, this would be the 50th post of this year... a good rounded number to end 2011. :) In other words, this is a post for the sake of a post. If you, for some reason have been reading till now, this might be a good place to stop. :P
 

If you didn't,  you have only yourself to blame... Well, as I was writing my post on 'Joseph, the Unsung Hero', I tried an thought experiment of putting myself into Joseph's shoes. Just to see what it would mean to be the man that Joseph was. There are three points which I'll have trouble putting myself in Joseph's shoes, or should I say sandals...

Matt 1:18 Mary had been betrothed [that is, legally pledged to be married] to Joseph.

This sounds pretty much like an arranged marriage. Even though I come from a culture where arranged marriages do happen, it is on the decline. I would find it  tough to willingly accept an 'arranged marriage'. Living in the world of radical individualism, having someone else make decisions especially when it comes to matters so close to my person, would be a bridge too far to say the least.

Matt 1: 20 An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit..."

Honestly, I would rather find it difficult to obey an Angel in my 'dream' suggesting that I marry a pregnant lady. Living in a post-Freudian world, I would find such a 'dream' rather confusing if not spooky. I would wonder if my 'subconscious' was venting out some repressed feelings in my dream. I might even have been tempted to argue with the Angel that he was asking me to something that did not seem very consistent with some parts of the revealed (Old Testament) word of God.

Matt 1:25 But 'knew' her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

Not be able to have sexual intimacy with my wife for at least a year would be a tough sell to say the least. Having had to be abstinent until marriage and when one thinks one has finally arrived, to realize that one has to wait for one more year would not be an easy pill to swallow. 

The Man Joseph had no hesitation. He, with amazing speed agrees to marry Mary as per the Angel's command. (Matt 1:24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife...).

I think there are three problems why it is difficult for someone born in the modern age to put oneself into Joseph's shoes/sandals...

I think  in the modern age, our culture place a lot more premium on the 'attraction-factor' than any other time in history, which is one of the reasons why we find 'arranged marriages' impossible. We can't imagine getting married to someone we don't feel attracted to. If we look at human nature, for centuries attraction developed after marriage. In making 'attraction' a prerequisite to marriage, I wonder if we are putting the cart before the horse.

The second problem with modern age is that we don't believe that God intervenes in history to communicate to his children about His plan for their lives. When it comes to matters of marriage we listen more to our hearts promptings than to God's guidance. This reductionistic decision making process is akin to cutting off ones limb to fit the small cot.

The third problem is that we have made sexual intimacy a big part of marital life. I have read psychologists say that most problems in marriages can be traced by to sexual problems between the husband and wife. I don't know how this works... but I think if someone is truly in love, they'll be attracted to each other even if they don't have sex with each other. I think here too people in urbanized cultures, by giving too much importance to sex, are putting the cart before the horse.

I don't know that we can set the clock back... but we'll have to be true to human nature, else we cease to be human any more, and I think we are getting close. 

Joseph, the Unsung Hero

It is customary for me to write a post about Christmas before Christmas, but I got too busy this Christmas to write anything on my blog... so here is my post-Christmas, Christmas post. After all this is the 4th of the 12 day Christmas, so I am not late any ways.

Over the past few weeks and months I have been pondering what it is to truly be a strong man. I have been looking at most things in life through this lens. Christmas is no exception. I think the unsung hero of Christmas is Joseph, Jesus's foster father.

As per Old Testament law, if a woman were to get pregnant out of wedlock, she'll have to be stoned to death. Back in those times, if a woman were to be pledged a man and she is already pregnant, he'll probably be the guy to hurl the first stone at her. But Joseph being a good man (Matt 1:19) decides to quietly divorce her instead of brining shame upon her. It is noble for a man of that stiff-necked patriarchal culture to be so benevolent.

But then Joseph has a dream and the Angel wants him to go one step further and marry Mary. The Man Joseph had no hesitation. He, with amazing speed agrees to be given the shorter-end of the stick (Matt 1:24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife...). By agreeing to marry Mary, Joseph also forgoes the pleasure of sexual intimacy with his wife (Matt 1:25 But 'knew' her not until she had given birth to a son). By sacrificially accepting the shorter-end of the stick, Joseph shows true masculine strength.

Joseph gives Mary and the child the support and legitimacy that they need to live and thrive in a society.  In fact, when people are sarcastic of Jesus later on in his life, they still call him the Carpenter's son! But for the strong man Joseph...

There are two kinds of strong  people...
First, the high-achievers - the ones who change reality to get what they want.
Second, the high-sacrificers - those who shoulder the weight of reality to give to others the strength and the support they need, whilst sacrificing their personal prerogatives.

From Steve Jobs to Justin Beiber, the popular culture admires the high-achieving men, who make themselves look good by having great achievements under their belt. I submit that it is the second kind of high-sacrificing men that are seldom looked-up-to. From Bruce Oslon to William Carey, these people expend themselves sacrificing their personal well-being for the sake of others. These are are the ones that are truly strong.

Ironically, 'popular Christianity' is no different from popular culture in that it celebrates strong men of high-achieving kind over the stronger men of the high-sacrificing kind. David is the considered a hero in 'popular Christianity' because he slew Goliath. He is the strong man who'll won many battles. But 'popular Christianity' often fails to reckon that when it comes to taking responsibility for his kids and family, David was a TOTAL failure. Then there is the whole affair of his impregnating another man's wife and then trying to get the innocent man to take responsibility for it, failing which, getting him killed. Where David fails to take responsibility for what was his, Joseph does the opposite. He take responsibility for what wasn't his. That is where true high-sacrificing manliness is. Carpenter Joseph is a stronger man than Kind David.

With 2011 ending, one of the key obituaries people are reminiscing about is the demise of the legend Steve Jobs and how his life has affected billions around the world. What is seldom acknowledged is that Steve Jobs was a terrible father. He disowned the kid (Lisa Brennan Jobs) of the first lady he impregnated. On a court case on paternity, he went so far as to claim impotence. He tried to wriggle out of a second out-of-wed-lock impregnation too before finally agreeing to marry the lady. His daughter did not invite him for her graduation. All of this history of Steve being an irresponsible father is often glossed-over because in the eyes of 'popular opinion makers', his public achievements override his private failings.

Let alone popular opinion makers, the idea of celebrating strong high-sacrificing manhood is seldom appreciated even in the Church. The failure of the Church to preach this sort of manhood has had a detrimental impact on the society. I was reading an article by the sociologist/historian David Brooks in New York Times. He talks about the social plight of 40% of the children that are born today being out-of-wedlock kids. Single moms are having to step-up to give the kids a good chance at life. Most of the single moms are great in being momma grizzlies. They show great resilience. The society/government tries to do what it can to help such single moms. But what is missed in the dialogue is the root cause of this problem, which is the irresponsibility of the men that impregnate the women. David Brooks goes on to say that  we have lost the social norms from a 100 years ago which warranted that a man who impregnated a woman was expected to marry her.  If only we had more Josephs we'll have fewer out-of-wedlock kids.

We need to delve a little deeper into the psyche of modern men who refuse to take responsibility for impregnating a woman. I suspect that the impetus to be irresponsible is not so much about an aversion towards being a father, as much as it is about a craving for pleasure (of the illicit kind, to not be bound to one 'partner' in crime). This craving for pleasure is crudely epitomized by Christmas celebration in the Washington and Jefferson College in Pennsylvania where the Dean approved a Christmas tree decorated with condoms (http://nation.foxnews.com/christmas-tree/2011/12/09/condom-christmas-tree-sparks-outrage). Here too Joseph sets a great high-sacrificing example. It would have been legitimate for Joseph to have wanted to share sexual intimacy with his wife, but he refrains. He sacrifices pleasure in order to help and love Mary. Joseph's loving-kindness towards Mary in refraining even from legitimate pleasure is a great example to both men and women in today's world whose lives often seem to be defined more by craving for illegitimate pleasures than by virtues of love, kindness and sacrifice.

In contrast to the high-achieving heroes of our age from Steve Jobs to Justin Beiber (who I believe is currently battling a paternity claim), Joseph stands tall and timeless - a high-sacrificing man with a spine and a chest, shouldering the responsibility of protecting and loving the vulnerable. In as much as the likes of the Josephs remain the unsung heroes, today's society as G.K.Chesterton says, will continue producing 'men without a chest'. Eventually, such a civilization will disintegrate, not for the lack of high-achieving heroes of the Jobs kind, but of the lack of high-sacrificing heroes of the unsung kind of Joseph.

Christmas with the Van Zants - An Experience of Unconditional Love

I usually go to Church on Christmas Eve, and love singing Christmas songs, but sitting alone by myself, in the midst of families, I experience what is called the 'outsider archetype'. In an article 'Depression During Holidays', in Psychology Today the Dr. Elaine N. Aron explains the 'outsider archetype' this way...

"The shadow side of this period of light and hope is darkness and despair, and many people fall into darkness at this time of year. They feel left out. Deep depression, the kind that goes on day after day or leads to suicidal thoughts, is complex and needs to be treated carefully and from every angle. ... is the problem of becoming identified with the archetype of the 'Outsider'. There is nothing bleaker, or more dangerous to survival, than being alone in the cold, physically or emotionally hungry, left out, while others are gathered around the fire, sharing food and gifts and above all, love." 

Wanting to commit suicide is an extreme case of the outsider archetype, not every outsider feels that way. But  having spent the past 4 Christmases by myself sitting at my home alone on Christmas Day, I can see where Dr. Aron was coming from. In fact, as much as I love the Christmas season, owing to my self-identification with the 'outsider archetype', a part of me had also begun to dread it... of spending the 5th Christmas in a row alone by myself.

Thankfully, this Christmas wasn't to be that way because my buddy Matt Van Zant invited me to spend this Christmas as an 'insider' in his family. I couldn't thank him enough for having invited me and alleviated me the pain of having to spend another Christmas Day all alone. What I found very interesting was that having been the 'outsider' for so long, the transition from the 'outsider' archetype to the 'insider' archetype actually takes some effort. It takes a deep understanding and acceptance of unconditional love to be able to make the transition.

Here  is how the story goes... Matt picked me up from my place on Christmas Eve, we went to service with his Mom, Dad and two pretty sisters. Then we went to Benihanna, I was treated to a great dinner. We went to Matt's home and sat there talking and watching the program 'Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacles Choir'. Of course, we cracked a few jokes about Mormons, no offense, but who doesn't... As much as they are fodder for good jokes, Mormons are good singers. It is also one of the fastest growing religions, thanks to their procreative proclivities. Matt's Mom googled some theological differences between Mormonism and Christianity, and read it aloud. We talked about that for a while. It was a fun time. Then we called it a day.

I had a long sleep in the cozy guest bedroom. I woke up very late next morning had a great brunch with eggs and sausage and english biscuits and fruits and desert, prepared by Matt's Mom. Then it was time to open gifts under the tree. Back in India, we didn't have the opening of gifts tradition. Christmas there was very different (/emmanuelreagan/2009/12/christmas-in-india.html). So this opening gifts tradition, was new to me. It was great to see the love and affection with which each of them had gotten gifts for others. I was given a gift too. I was the only one there who did not have any any gift to give.

We chatted, played with the dogs... I went back to my bed to have a quick nap, which ended up becoming a 3 hour sleep. I woke up from the sleep and there was in my head, a nagging thought... From having great food, fellowship and gifts, I took so much from the table, but I nothing to 'bring to the table'. Being a 'works righteousness' guy, this was a bitter pill for me. I had been showered with so much love and affection, but I  didn't know why I deserved it when I had nothing to give in return. Deep within, it even made me feel a little bit guilty.

Being an 'outsider' has one sent of psychological bad problems. But being an 'insider' has another set of good psychological problems to be solved. I had to find a resolution to the feeling of not knowing what made me worthy of love and affection, when I have nothing to give in return. Being an introverted HSP (High Sensitive Person), I am a little too in touch with the nuances of my feelings to not be bothered by them.

The dinner prepared by Matt's Mom on Christmas day was one of the best meals I had recently had. For dinner on Christmas Day, two friends of Matt's sister came to join us. They too were guys who were away from home experiencing lonely Christmases. As we sat at the table, Matt's Dad asked Matt to pray. I found the answer to my nagging question in Matt's prayer. Matt's prayer went something like this...

"Thank you Lord for bringing us together as one family in this table. Christmas is not about traditions, it is about celebrating the salvation that you have provided for us so that we can love each other as a family..."

I didn't hear the rest of the prayer, because in those few words, I found the answer to the question that was nagging me. My question was, 'What did I do that makes me deserving of such unconditional love? What do I have to bring to the table to make myself worthy of such love?' The answer is, I did not have to do anything, Christ did all that needed to be done on the Cross. I was unconditionally loved by the Van Zants not because I did (or could do) something to deserve it, but because they believed in the unconditional love of Jesus Christ which made them love me unconditionally and invite me to be an 'insider' their family.

The basis for love is not what one has done to be worthy of love, but what Christ has done on the Cross. Only a love that is inspired by the love of Christ can be truly unconditional. The love I experienced with the Van Zants was this Christ-inspired-unconditional-love. So I could REST in what Christ has 'brought to the table' instead of being hung-up over what I couldn't bring to the table to be worthy of being the 'insider'.

In a sense THIS is what Christmas is about, we are ALL born 'outsiders' to God's family. Left to ourselves, we'll die. Christ had to show us conditional love to make us 'insiders' into His family. Making the transition from the 'outsider' to the 'insider' requires of us an acceptance this unconditional love of Christ. For some of us because of our life experiences this transition from the outsider archetype to the insider archetype takes some time, the likes of the Van Zants make such a transition easier.

As I noted earlier, I couldn't thank my buddy Matt enough for making this Christmas special by inviting me to be an 'insider' in his family. Christians will spend an Eternity thanking and worshiping God for making us all insiders in His Family. Everyday in Heaven would be such a Christmas day. Our Christmases here are just a foretaste of the overflowing experience of unconditional love that is to come! After 4 years of lonely Christmases, my Christmas with the Van Zants has been one such experience of unconditional love!

November Facebook Status Updates

A friend asked me what I did last weekend. I said, "Saw a good movie, read a good book has good conversations with people". We talked for sometime then he asked me again. "What did you do that was FUN???". I said, "Saw a good movie, read a good book has good conversations with people"... What more does one need to be FUN???

I was having lunch with a friend today, discussing the meaning of life. My friend said that discussing meaning of life might be futile... that we need to live in the present... I said I really want to know the Truth... Finally, we got the fortune cookie and mine said, "Enjoy life! It is better to be happy than to be wise". We had a good long laugh till we almost teared-up... :)

Since this morning, in conversations with the friends I have hung-out with I got at least 4 suggested readings... "How to read a Book", "The One and The Many", "Ego and Archetype" and "How Trinity Changes Everything"... I don't have the bandwidth to read all of these books now, but haven't I the MOST awesome friends???!!!

There couldn't be a more beautiful day than today to sit outside and read... cool, dark and melancholic. :)

Any system of life that is devoid theology which connects the idea of man with the idea of God, would end up dehumanizing man


I need to talk to someone who has read or seen 'Moneyball'. Some parts of it sort of went over my head...


The luckiest are the ones that were born in the early 80s... Like me. :P

Why does 'Adagio in G minor' make you feel the way it does?

J. Edgar is 2 hours and 40 minutes long, but leaves you wanting more. DiCaprio and Eastwood have tried to deal with Hoover's life in ALL of its complexity that they barely scratch the surface - leave much shrouded, intentionally I believe.

Grief is good as long as it does not lead to self-pity. Life is good as long as there is hope and faith that God would work it ALL for the ultimate good - Rom 9:28.

Well... to go or not to go and watch 'J. Edgar' DiCaprio's latest movie with Clint Eastwood at 00:01 hours tomorrow (actually tonight)... THAT is the question.

I think one thing that Facebook does well is it gives people a chance to be a tad bit more creative than they normally are. :)

Houston was beautiful today! There were clouds, then some rain, little snow flakes dancing about for a very short while, then pouring rain, then a mist, then some sun and then cloudy again. Classic Houston!

Strength in the midst of weakness is true strength, for if there is no weakness in a person, then 'strength' has no point to prove. If one hasn't had a chance to win a battle from within, one may not be able to overcome the battles from without. So, Cheer up! If you think you are weak, you have an opportunity to be strong. :)

In life, we expend ourselves, anyone who doesn't feel expended, probably isn't alive yet.

If you have a strong arm and a sharp knife, when you make one cut, you'll have two pieces of meat. Well, what I am saying is if you have strong principles in your life, you can be decisive. :)

Sojourn - A High Stakes Christian Covenant Community

(Disclaimer: What is stated below is my impression of what Sojourn Church Community stands for. My impressions may or may not reflect the Church's official stand on things)

'Covenant' is a very heavy word that has in recent times has lost the depth of its meaning. Before the modern idea of 'contract', became the norm for any transaction whether marriage or business, it was 'covenant' that bound people together. Covenant has a deep relationship aspect which the 'matter-of-fact' contract lacks. Where contract tries to define the boundaries of the liabilities, the covenant went ALL in. Where contract is signed in ink, covenant was signed in Blood.

When I realized that Sojourn had a 'Covenant Membership Class' to induct new members, my understanding of the weight of the word caused pause. I needed to really consider the stakes involved. Generally speaking, a Covenant answers three questions, what do I need to give? what do I get in return? who is the covenant enforcer? To me, the key question to which I wanted to find the answer to was the first one, 'what do I need to give?'. I wanted to know what was at stake before I could commit to be a member of this Church.

Because I was apprehensive, I made sure that I could decide not to become a member if I didn't want to, after attending the class. I was assured that I could. So I attended the class last week. The covenant class was taken by the passionate Pastor Joseph and facilitated by the able administrator, Drew.

Three points stood out to me from the class.
1. The need to create a Christian presence in urban enclaves.
2. The need to allow the Gospel to permeate everyday aspects/rythmns of ones life.
3. The need to commune, submit and be strengthened by each other.

In every culture, there is a part of the society that is fragmented and is in dire need of the gospel. The Christian has two options to deal with this. Either jump headlong into the decadent culture, open it up to the Good News by building a Shining City in the midst. Or retire to the Christian ghetto, assured that one has the 'ticket' to heaven and that one will 'make it' even if all hell breaks loose around them. It seemed to me that the Sojourn Christians are encouraged to be of the first kind of Christians. To be the Christian of the first kind, one has to venture outside of one's comfort zone. For example, Joe said that if you decide to live in urban enclaves (as against the suburbs), you may not be able to own a house until you are in your mid-thirties or early forties. Besides, you have to open your homes for neighbours to come and fellowship at. That is a sacrifice one has to consider making to be a high stakes Christian of the first kind.  This a not a low bar. But how could I not covenant with that?  Check!

A big problem with the urban progressives is a sense of entitlement. The urbanite believes he/she has a RIGHT to happiness, no matter what is at stake. In fact, I think, one could draw an almost straight line from the belief in right to happiness to the breakdown of marriages in the Western civilization. The only thing that can effectively work against this obsessive 'pursuit of happiness' is the Gospel permeating every aspect of our life. Gospel kills the discontentment that arises out of the sense of entitlement, by helping us SEE the crucified Lord. This Gospel-focus SHOULD fill us with the GREATEST sense of GRATITUDE that nothing else would matter so much so as to rob us of our 'joy' in the Lord.

Joe recounted how one of the Elders in the Church had to recite the Gospel to him when he was feeling discontentment over something. It is a great example to see pastors use a self-deprecating examples to glorify the Gospel. To make much of Christ and less of self is the fruit of the workings of the Gospel. It seemed to me that the Sojourn Christians are encouraged to be Gospel-focused to make much of Christ and less of self in their everyday aspects/rythmns of life.  This a not a low bar. But how could I not covenant with that? Check!

If  the urban progressives had real, healthy and cherished communities, the Starbucks business model would have bombed right at the start. After all, a good number of people that go to Starbucks for the pseudo-community experience than for the 'real' coffee. In contrast to the pseudo-communities around us, Christians are supposed to be the 'real' community builders. We are to find our identity in the community of those who love the Lord. While most pagan communities that look real are built upon principle of 'networking' driven by self-interest of some form, the Christian community is built upon virtues of mutual love, mutual submission and mutual exhortation. Unlike Communism (Marxism), the Christian community is not classless, there is a definite hierarchy. But the Christian community is a lot more radical than Communism in that Communism mandates that everyone be treated equally, whereas in the Christian community, one is expected to treat the other better than one self. This is where rubber meets the road. This a high bar. I'll need to covenant with that! Check!

It takes a lot of gospel-focus, prayer and mission mindedness to be able to fulfil my part of covenant deal. Truth be said, it will not be easy. But I have the 'Helper' (John 14:16), the Lord the Holy Spirit to help me through. Even if I fail, the covenant Enforcer is gracious (Romans 3:23 - 26: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood). The covenant is cut from His blood, not mine, which is why I can confidently go ALL-in into this high stakes Christian covenant community.

Elf - Lost & Loved!

I feel greatly encouraged by my buddies Kyle and Matt to continue writing posts about movies on my blog. Yesterday, when we were watching the cheesy Christmasy movie 'Elf' with friends from Church, Matt wondered if I would write a post on it. I took the challenge to write one. I don't think I have ever written a post on any cheesy movie. I enjoy watching funny movies, but a movie without depth does not inspire me to write. My challenge with this post is to find something deep about 'Elf' for a worthy write. But it is difficult task given that you have Will Ferrel staring in a movie... just saying. :) If this post is lame, don't blame me. :P

Anyways, for the sake of this post I have gleaned two profound ideas from the movie.
1. There is a connection between knowing who we are and finding a sense of belonging as someone's beloved son/daughter.
2. There is something divine about enjoying the 'spirit of Christmas' even when it is all about the Santa, and ubiquitously Christless.

In Elf, Will Ferrel is a man who gets 'lost' at birth and ends up growing among the Elves in the North Pole. As dumb as he is, when he is 30 years old, he realizes that he isn't an Elf but a Man. He realizes he does not 'belong' with the Elves and that the Elves don't quite love him. Will starts on a quest to 'find his true self'. Will finding his real Father in New York is what the movie is about.

This 'finding your true self' presupposes that one is 'lost'. None of us perfectly 'belong' in this world. We are all misfits in some ways. We don't love right, neither are we loved right. This causes a sense of alienation, insecurity and ultimately a sense of lostness.

Broadly speaking, modern human beings have two ways of dealing with the sense of lostness. One, try to escape the angst by becoming drunk or profligate or jump headlong into the rat-race for the 'American Dream' etc... Two, try to find a deeper purpose to override the gnawing sense of lostness by becoming Zen Buddhists or artists or activists etc... We forget that the ONLY thing that truly gives us a sense of 'belonging' is to be TRULY LOVED as Someone's most beloved Son/Daughter.

In the movie, Will wisely decides to find a sense of belonging by seeking his Father's love. When Will's Father gives up his 'dream job' to show Will how much he loves him, Will feels loved and finds a sense of belonging in life. From the Christian perspective, this is what Christ did on the cross. Christ gave His life up to show us how much He loved us.

Ephesians 1 4-6: In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace

Pay special attention to the first two words 'In love'. If God's adoption as His Son/Daughter does not give us a sense of being loved, NOTHING EVER will. If God's everlasting love doesn't make us feel loved, NONE ever can. We can try everything from being a drunk to becoming an activist. We'll just be a stone rolling about that gathers no mass, moving about from one place to another or one person to another.

Moving on to the second theme - the 'spirit of Christmas'... There is something really interesting about the way the idea of the 'spirit of Christmas' is presented in the movie. In the last scene of the movie the real Santa from the world of the Elves makes his appearance in NYC. It is witnessed by two groups of people - the true believers and the sophisticated skeptics. The true believers see the Santa, the sophisticated skeptics (the members of the media) just don't get it.

In the movie, the idea that the engine of Santa's sledge will work only by the 'Spirit of Christmas' in the hearts of the true believers is very ingenious. The first among the true believers is the 'tenderly beautiful' Zooey Deschanel. When Santa's sledge loses power, she feels it in her heart and starts singing the song 'Santa Claus is coming tonight'. Everyone joins in, even the ones watching on TV. Santas sledge gets the power it needs and zooms into the night skies.

It might appear that this is another show of commercialized Santa-celebrating Christmas. But we need to remember that even in this sort of Christless Christmas there still is something that can't help but glorify God. I almost teared-up when everyone sang 'Santa Claus is coming tonight'. There is something that makes a human being tear-up upon witnessing people share something profoundly simple. In this case, the 'spirit of Christmas' is shared by one and all. Why should this make one tear-up? It is because of the Image of God in man. Apes don't tear-up upon sining. Apes can't imagine myths about Santas or reindeers or gifts in stocking. Apes do not have the sense of wonder to enjoy the 'Spirit of Christmas'.

Only Human beings can connect to myths in a deep way. It is the Image of Christ in us that makes us true believers in myths. Myths are things that by themselves, do not have survival value. But they give value to survival. In and of itself, the 'Spirit of Christmas' has little survival value. But it gives value to survival. Without the image of God that makes man special, man cannot enjoy myths that give value to survival.

So, if one has to truly believe in the Santa's 'spirit of Christmas' (even when it is Christless), then one has to presuppose a Christian worldview - that man is made in the Image of God. Unless man feels loved as a son/daughter by the One in whose image he is made, he'll NEVER feel loved, no matter where he searches. He'll never belong anywhere. He'll feel totally lost. Thank God Christ came to save the lost! Merry Christmas!